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Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

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61–70 of 72 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#61
You are craving "External Validation and Recognition". Nothing wrong with it except that this is a "Desire" which if unchecked will make your Life miserable and unhappy. The Internet has made it worse by giving you a very very large sample size to compare to. Also remember that 90% of what you read on the Internet is fake/exaggerated and the remaining 10% is showing only their best face (and no failures). "Outliers" are always few and far between (it is still more or less a bell-shaped curve); If you want to become one, then be prepared to put in a lot of hard work.

Read the "Discourses" of Epictetus for some perspective;

In every act consider what precedes and what follows, and then proceed to the act. If you do not consider, you will at first begin with spirit, since you have not thought at all of the things which follow; but afterwards when some consequences have shown themselves, you will basely desist (from that which you have begun). “I wish to conquer at the Olympic games.” [And I too, by the gods: for it is a fine thing]. But consider here what precedes and what follows; and then, if it is for your good, undertake the thing. You must act according to rules, follow strict diet, abstain from delicacies, exercise yourself by compulsion at fixed times, in heat, in cold; drink no cold water, nor wine, when there is opportunity of drinking it. In a word you must surrender yourself to the trainer, as you do to a physician. Next in the contest, you must be covered with sand, sometimes dislocate a hand, sprain an ankle, swallow a quantity of dust, be scourged with the whip; and after undergoing all this, you must sometimes be conquered. After reckoning all these things, if you have still an inclination, go to the athletic practice. If you do not reckon them, observe you will behave like children who at one time play as wrestlers, then as gladiators, then blow a trumpet, then act a tragedy, when they have seen and admired such things. So you also do: you are at one time a wrestler (athlete), then a gladiator, then a philosopher, then a rhetorician; but with your whole soul you are nothing: like the ape you imitate all that you see; and always one thing after another pleases you, but that which becomes familiar displeases you. For you have never undertaken anything after consideration, nor after having explored the whole matter and put it to a strict examination; but you have undertaken it at hazard and with a cold desire.

So have confidence/faith in yourself, use others as inspiration/motivation and only compare your "current" self to your "previous" self for improvement.

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#62
If you want to further humble yourself, look at all those brilliant exploits malware writers discovered and used.

That said, I accept that I'm a nobody in this world, and I leave nothing important in the world. I still want to improve myself but I don't have high hopes if I look at the number of uncompleted projects along the way.

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#63

I’ve found peace by focusing on life outside of my own head. If you spend your day all busy and stressed out about computer things and then go home and spend all your time on more intellectual or virtual entertainment then your brain is fully primed to work more on those things. My advice is to disconnect and focus on relationships and people.

Agreed. I focus on being a parent, and it's 10000s times more fulfilling than anything I could do on a computer.

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#64
I don't know the answer to your question, but I think this[0] video might help to visualize the mind-boggling scale of the world (in the video you can substitute dollars with human beings). And it's only one billion visualized so in order to go through the entire human population you would have to watch it 7.9 times which would take something over 10 hours.

As the dollar meter keeps running relentlessly you can imagine yourself being one split of a second somewhere there, and then you can imagine the sea of people working hard at compilers, optimizers, math etc. blasting you all at once with their brilliant observations. It's only natural to get overwhelmed if you expose yourself to the aggregate of the most brilliant and productive humans, because as rare as they might be, the human population is so staggeringly big that there are LOTS of them. You might not be doing so bad compared to the rest of the humanity though ;)

[0] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YUWDrLazCg (A Million Dollars vs A Billion Dollars, Visualized: A Road Trip)

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#65
post #10

Sampling bias. You're reading articles good enough to come through to you, from millions of people actively trying to get theirs read. There will be millions of great articles that most of us will never even discover. I think you should spend at bit of time thinking on the scale of the world, the scale of combined human effort, and try to consider the statistical chance that something any individual does will "make i…

> There's nothing wrong in being a "nobody" in the grand scheme of things, your primary motivation in life has probably not been to have the world know your name, if so, you'd likely have pursued a different career. But the feeling is familiar, I think, to most of us.

More on this: you don't need to be "somebody" to everyone. Maybe just try being "somebody" to a smaller group that is important to you.

99.9999999% of people will never know I was in a leadership role for a collegiate rocket league esports org. It's a niche (collegiate), of a niche (esports org), of a niche (rocket league), of a niche (video games) thing, but that doesn't matter. The people I worked with knew me and what the org does is important to the players who participated, even if they didn't know me.

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#66
It took me a long time to realize that the universe doesn’t give a shit about me. In the grand scheme of things my life isn’t going to rate a mention. There is such a freedom in this understanding. Nothing inherently matters, so I can just make my life about what I want.

I spend time deciding what matters to me, then I fill my mind and heart with it. I don’t generally pay attention to what everyone else is doing, unless it helps me with what I’ve decided is worth doing, or makes me aware of something great that I’ve missed. I definitely don’t compare myself to some external standard. My life, my measuring stick.

At the end of my life I will die, and at that moment I will be alone, no matter how many friends surround me. In that moment, I will have things I’m proud of and things I regret, and they will based entirely on my own value judgements and experiences, not on other people’s ideas about what matters. So I focus on that. What will I regret? What will I be proud of?

It works for me, where other things have not. Perhaps this gives you a contrasting perspective. Perhaps I just needed to write it out. Either way, best of luck and may you find freedom in your own way.

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#68
post #59

Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. He talks about this a lot, but in the other vein. He was probably the most powerful man in the world and constantly reminded himself he is nothing but a sack of meat and bones.

I’ve been reading the new translation recently. Is it just me or are there entire sections which are impossible to make sense of? Much of it is really great, but I’ve found myself skipping all the longer sections because they are all but unparsable. It could be I need to get a different translation.

The Gregory Hayes translation is good. Which do you have?

Re: Ask HN: How do you accept your place in the world?

#70
post #59

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve been reading the new translation recently. Is it just me or are there entire sections which are impossible to make sense of? Much of it is really great, but I’ve found myself skipping all the longer sections because they are all but unparsable. It could be I need to get a different translation.

The Gregory Hayes translation is good. Which do you have?

That’s the one I have. I don’t usually have difficulties with reading comprehension, I’m a big fan of Dostoyevsky translations. But for some reason I can read some chapters in the Hays translation a dozen times without having any idea what he’s saying.

If that’s an issue unique to me, it probably means I need to push through and it’s an opportunity to improve. The reviews seem positive and I’ve heard it recommended many times.

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