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Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

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Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#61

Post by jfoutz »

First, you'll probably never think of yourself as old. You'll look in the mirror and wonder why 20 year old you has all this gray hair and wrinkles.

Second, it's ok to let things slide for a while, but the longer you let them slide, the tougher they are to fix (and if you wait too long, some things can't be fixed). See plenty of other comments about teeth, back, RSI, diet. If you decide to let something go for a while, pick a time to follow up on it, and reevaluate.

Third, problems get bigger, stakes get higher. But you'll learn more tricks for coping with those problems. Sorta grim, but suicide rates by age climb till 50ish. around then you'll have (sorta) seen it all, there's not much that the world can throw at you that'll put you in a complete tailspin.

I can't tell you how to live your life. I'd suggest, be true to yourself, be true to your ethics. If you don't know what those are yet, try to figure out who you are. When you're stuck in a stressful situation, at the end do you want to feel vindicated? do you want to have a great outcome for everyone? do you want to just leave it all behind? Do you want to just grit your teeth and get through it? Those all point to different values, and can help you figure out who you are.

Some people age gracefully and some don't. some people get to make choices about that, and some don't. It's going to be ok. Everybody gets through their life one way or another.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#62

Post by tchaffee »

Say no to fun stuff 20% of the time and invest that money - the younger the better. Time is your very best friend when it comes to retiring comfortably. But say "yes" to enough things that you'll have fond memories to look back on with friends and family.

Time does start passing quicker. Perhaps the brain slows down and you capture fewer frames per second, but the end result is you start to learn how important it is to prioritize to avoid having spent your precious time on trivial things instead of meaningful things.

Time is infinitely valuable compared to money. Do the math. You can always earn more money, but you will run out of time. Does that contradict my first statement? No. When you're older you'll want enough money to be able to spend your time as you wish.

The vast majority of things you think are of the utmost priority now will seem trivial looking back on them ten years later. If you can learn this early it makes it far easier to remain rational about your decisions and how much things are worth.

Your body will start getting in the way of things you want to accomplish. You'll get tired sooner, you'll have health problems that interrupt your momentum or require long periods of recovery, it will be frustrating to struggle at things that were once easy. Don't wait too late to do the things you are truly passionate about. Retirement might be too late.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#63

Post by axaxs »

tyre wrote: post #56
axaxs wrote: post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same. In my experience, the relatively smart people in school who worked hard had more successful lives than the even smarter kids who didn't.

How do you define success?

In the context of my comment, better jobs. Doctors, lawyers, and proper engineers and such. Basically, the kids who worked harder excelled in college and stuck with it.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#64

Post by AstralStorm »

kyriakos wrote: post #34

Losing weight or gaining muscle mass gets harder and harder as you age so the older you get so its important to keep a diet and exercise routine that keeps you at a good condition cause letting go makes things go bad much quicker and takes way more effort to get back in shape.

On the other hand, you should accept that you'll go frail, so it's better to not tie your career to being fit if you can help it.

Unless you earn tons of money and can retire by 40, all debts paid.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#65

Post by AstralStorm »

MaKey wrote: post #38
qw wrote: post #14

When I was younger, I could skip most of the homework because I learned enough during class. The mandatory assignments were sometimes finished quickly just before I had to turn them in. I didn't get the necessary practice and discipline to do independent work unless I did it for fun. This had to be learned the hard way when I grew older.

I had a similar experience. Please don't praise kids for being "smart", teach them that putting real effort into something will pay off.

You need to do both. Don't be that stereotypical Asian parent, pushing and never praising.

It works only sometimes, and the kids will curse you for their empty, wasted in third, life.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#66

Post by AstralStorm »

motohagiography wrote: post #42

1. Language is just a tool our species uses to act through others, invented as a necessary means to protect and manage children and that has evolved to other uses, but it is a narrow keyhole through which to experience the world, or to express it. Most suffering is an artifact of it, and most joy is inexpressible in it. 2. Regret is almost always about what you didn't do, and rarely about what you chose freely or dec…

There is 4 for everyone, called Death. Make sure you'll enjoy it, both the transformative metaphorical one and the literal one.

If you're lucky, you'll stare into it sooner than later and become better for it. (When you're old, it's hard to do anything about it.)

Once you get it, you will know how to live your life to fullest while not leaving a debt and cleanup to others.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#67

Post by Smaug123 »

lukejduncan wrote: post #52
Smaug123 wrote: post #25

This is not my advice - I'm 26 - but was given to me at school by a now-retired teacher I greatly respect. It sounds quite wise, and I trust the source. I paraphrase: "Learn to classify people into three categories: givers, sharers, and takers. Surround yourself with givers. Sharers are also acceptable. Cut out the takers as quickly as you can." A verbatim follow-on quote: "Takers make a beeline for givers. The needy…

It's hard not to read "sharers are also acceptable" as either: 1) Be a sharer, but prefer givers as friends OR 2) Be a taker.

There's always "be a giver to other givers and sharers"!

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#69

Post by AstralStorm »

cgriswald wrote: post #53
surfsvammel wrote: post #41

Make friends. Keep friends. Making new friends get much harder when you are older.

Difficulty in making friends as one gets older isn’t actually a result of age, in my experience. I think as people get older they tend to be in fewer situations where friends are easily made. If you put an older person in, say, college, they’ll make friends just as easily as they would have when they were younger.

To a point, no all nighter benders will be possible or at least easy.

And then you'll find much fewer people interesting, and more people annoying. That's a function of knowing more.

Re: Ask HN: What is it like to be old? What advice would you give to younger people?

#70

Post by voisin »

endori97 wrote: post #23

Experience the benefits of fasting -- it will take care of excess weight and has other benefits.

Second this. Been doing a variety (16:8, 18:6, OMAD, 36/48/72hr) of fasts for nearly five years now and it has been a life changer.

For those interested, check out The Complete Guide to Intermittent Fasting by the Canadian nephrologist (Jason?) Fung.

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