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Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

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Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#61
post #19

Cults. Learn to see what they are early on, learn what groups are considered to be cults, read Lifton's "Thought Reform and the Ideology of Totalism" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_Reform_and_the_Psychol... ), stay away.

Anyone who is vulnerable to cults is likely vulnerable for reasons other than lacking a warning.

knowing about cults is therefore essential to those times when someone is vulnerable (which includes virtually everyone at some point), so that they have context for what is actually happening and retain enough wisdom to stay away.

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#62
post #27

Bad managers. A bad manager will make or break your experience at a company. Doesn’t matter how great the project is, or the people you’re working with. Do your due diligence, ask around, and if you get even a hint of shenanigans run for the hills. Similarly if you find yourself with one plan an exit asap. The priority order when you find a team is: 1- manager, 2- team and 3- how closely the project as is aligns with…

I had a manager at Microsoft -- I called him a "practice manager" because he had little experience managing and was just given a handful of people to wrangle -- and it was absolutely miserable. He interfered with my technical decisions, undermined me in meetings, and did a really shitty job defending me in stack rankings. At one point, after he refused to supply me with a workstation that would work ("That's the comp…

Let it go. He is a different person now, and so are you. Look back on this as an experience, not as something that eats on you for decades. It is corrosive to the soul to hold on to bad feelings this long.

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#63
post #27

Bad managers. A bad manager will make or break your experience at a company. Doesn’t matter how great the project is, or the people you’re working with. Do your due diligence, ask around, and if you get even a hint of shenanigans run for the hills. Similarly if you find yourself with one plan an exit asap. The priority order when you find a team is: 1- manager, 2- team and 3- how closely the project as is aligns with…

I had a manager at Microsoft -- I called him a "practice manager" because he had little experience managing and was just given a handful of people to wrangle -- and it was absolutely miserable. He interfered with my technical decisions, undermined me in meetings, and did a really shitty job defending me in stack rankings. At one point, after he refused to supply me with a workstation that would work ("That's the comp…

You gave him a bad reference?

That’s one of the more hurtful things you can do to someone. They were looking forward to the job, and companies have all the power.

I sure hope he deserved it.

After thinking it over, I think what’s happening is that you’ve never been in a position where you need a reference to get hired. I mean need, as in “I literally don’t have anyone available except them.” Being in that position just to make end’s meet is awful, and people go through ups and downs in their lives.

Fifteen years...

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#64
Per Michael Pollan:

Don't eat anything your great grandmother wouldn't recognize as food. When you pick up that box of portable yogurt tubes, or eat something with 15 ingredients you can't pronounce, ask yourself, "What are those things doing there?".

Don’t eat anything with more than five ingredients, or ingredients you can't pronounce.

Stay out of the middle of the supermarket; shop on the perimeter of the store. Real food tends to be on the outer edge of the store near the loading docks, where it can be replaced with fresh foods when it goes bad.

Don't eat anything that won't eventually rot. There are exceptions -- honey -- but as a rule, things like Twinkies that never go bad aren't food.

Always leave the table a little hungry. Many cultures have rules that you stop eating before you are full. In Japan, they say eat until you are four-fifths full. Islamic culture has a similar rule, and in German culture they say, 'Tie off the sack before it's full.'

Families traditionally ate together, around a table and not a TV, at regular meal times. It's a good tradition. Enjoy meals with the people you love. Remember when eating between meals felt wrong?

Don't buy food where you buy your gasoline. In the U.S., 20% of food is eaten in the car.

In summation:

Eat real food, probably less, mostly plants, with friends/family.

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#65
post #19

Cults. Learn to see what they are early on, learn what groups are considered to be cults, read Lifton's "Thought Reform and the Ideology of Totalism" ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_Reform_and_the_Psychol... ), stay away.

Is it still a cult if they pay me above market?

That's one of the worst ones. You get used to the paychecks.

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not borrowing money is bad advice. The best way to become rich is leveraged investment. A mortgage is simply a 5X leveraged investment in real estate. With interest rates around 3% on a 30-year fixed, tax deductible, you’re actually winding up borrowing at below inflation. Then you’re building principal too, yours and not your landlords. I wish I’d realized this sooner. When you’re young you could even consider borro…

If these investments of yours were as much of a sure bet (or adequately sure bet) as you're suggesting, banks would simply cut out the middle-person (i.e. the borrower) and invest in these things directly.

Why would they? For the longest time retail banks weren’t allowed to, and investment banks get risk free money via management and brokerage fees. All investing returns involve risk, it depends on your time horizon.

Re: Ask HN: What to avoid in life?

#68
Don’t get tricked into playing zero sum games.

Status, prestige, being the “best” are relative, not absolute measurements. Someone else’s gain is your loss.

Health, love, education (to build a skill) are absolute. Someone else’s gain can benefit and inspire you.

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