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Ask HN: How is your mental health?

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Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#61

Post by spodek »

I've never felt better.

I can count several years that were the worst of my life and it didn't make sense to go on -- my first year of graduate school when I got my life's worst grades, my girlfriend left me, I didn't have time for my hobbies, my roommates didn't pay bills in my name and broke my things, etc; also the year my first company almost wen bankrupt and I felt I couldn't trust anyone. Those experiences and getting out of them put my problems today in perspective.

I jump out of bed every morning. I love my work and the people I work with http://joshuaspodek.com/podcast. I'm passionate about my projects. There are hard challenges, but taking them on is the source of my purpose and gives me meaning.

I often feel bad and in those moments I wouldn't write like this. Sometimes I feel like giving up, but past disasters and my lessons from them tell me those moments will pass. My practices of regular exercise, a healthy diet, and sleeping a minimum that's right for me most nights are a solid foundation to build on.

I wrote my books on the NYU courses I teach that develop this lifestyle https://www.amazon.com/Initiative-Proven-Method-Bring-Passio... and https://www.amazon.com/Leadership-Step-Become-Person-Others/....

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#62

Post by iamthepieman »

clarry wrote: post #38
thowthisaway wrote: post #25

Earlier quoted context omitted.

exercise, omg you have no idea how much this helps.

Is there something wrong with the way I jog? Because I don't find it to be making much of a difference. Same for cycling, walking, etc.

I find that a goal for exercise helps a lot. If jogging is your thing then sign up for a 5k(or longer if that's where you're at) and then set a goal time and training plan. Seeing improvement over time is what helps me. Even if I don't feel like I have control over my job or feel stuck in my career, I can at least improve my fitness. When I'm aimless in my fitness goals then I'm less motivated to do it and if I do get my butt off the couch then I'm less motivated to work hard while I'm training.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#63

Post by lacampbell »

BlameKaneda wrote: post #57
lacampbell wrote: post #51

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Criticisms often bother us when we suspect they might be true I find. Not at all saying that your boss was right, but a lot of people have 'imposter syndrome' so it can become a case of 'agh, my negative internal monologue has been confirmed by an outside source'. Is your boss just a bit of a dick that a lot of people dislike? If other people like your work it's probably way more about him than you.

Contrary to what he thinks, I do believe I have improved since I began, albeit not to the level he wanted. The "should know X by now" quote has bothered me, though, where I have asked myself his question in my own head. For the most part he seems okay around others, but there have been a few times where I think people have picked up on his attitude.

Yeah sounds like it's his problem. Maybe he sucks at on-boarding, or maybe he's over-worked and it's easier to blame the underlings. Hope it doesn't mess with your head any more.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#64

Post by dijit »

BlameKaneda wrote: post #39

I started a new job in January and although it was all right at first, it wasn't until long when my boss and I started being at odds with one another. As early as three months in he said multiple times that I "should know how to X by know" and later on said that I "hadn't improved since I started." I dreaded going into work everyday, primarily because of him. I started looking for a new job six months in and I'm stil…

I don't know you at all; so I'm going to give you a piece of advice that helped me when I was a young sysadmin, and I'm going to hope it applies.

If you join an established company, in the beginning at the very least; that company has the responsibility to give you focus and training on the requisites. The only times this doesn't apply is when you are a senior, joining management, or creating a new team entirely.

If you're an individual contributer for an established team, you should feel empowered to push back, because as long as you are attentive and put effort in; you can do no wrong.

They hired you, for your skills, for your attitude, now it's up to them to facilitate your work if they want it. Never feel ashamed for not knowing something, for it is their responsibility to have given you that knowledge. Never feel ashamed of not having work to do, for it is their responsibility to feed it to you should you be able.

The blame is never on the IC, unless they're not trying.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#65

Post by throwaway942502 »

Bad, but slowly improving I think. I came close to committing suicide a couple of times in the last few months. After the first episode, I opened up to a close friend and family member about it. Then I decided to give therapy a shot. After the second attempt, I decided to try antidepressants. I'm on my second week of taking Lexapro 10mg and I think it's starting to make a difference.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#66

Post by vmurthy »

fluroblue wrote: post #22
apexkid wrote: post #3

Use the following strategies: 1. Meditate daily for 15 minutes. Try vedic indian meditations. 2. Keep track of your mood using some app. 3. If your mood is bad for consistently 3 days, then open pastebin and write down about everything you are feeling and going in your head. Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you br…

What makes Vedic Indian meditation special?

One of the things about the mantras is that if you chant them , your breathing is improved. In fact someone I know who has been doing this for a long time says that a lot of breathing problems go away if you do this regularly.

If you don’t want to believe all this , Id go with the following : Just like music, your attention is drawn towards the chant and hopefully stay there :)

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#67

Post by ben509 »

big_chungus wrote: post #52
thowthisaway wrote: post #20

I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues. It can be as simple as self-doubt, especially if you're married with kids. I believe men suffer tremendously but never seek the necessary help. I'm lucky enough that my employer allows for free sessions, and I have and will continue to seek treatment since I benefited so much. It's important to note that you HAVE to want it. If you have any bit of do…

> I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues Citation very, very badly needed. Can't make the assertion that _everyone_ is screwed up in the head without evidence. I don't have issues; I get I'm a single datapoint, but your assertion was essentially that everyone's got them. So now you can think of one. I've got a happy life and everything's going well for me and my family. Hiccups here-and-th…

Agreed. It's especially important not to confuse a chronic issue with something like stress. If you experienced a major event and it forced you to work long hours, introduced a lot of uncertainty, strained your family, etc. you'd "have issues" but they'd be transient.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#68

Post by whoisjuan »

Kluny wrote: post #30
apexkid wrote: post #3

Use the following strategies: 1. Meditate daily for 15 minutes. Try vedic indian meditations. 2. Keep track of your mood using some app. 3. If your mood is bad for consistently 3 days, then open pastebin and write down about everything you are feeling and going in your head. Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you br…

15 minutes is a really long time to meditate. Anyone who's new to it, I suggest starting with 30 seconds and work your way up to 15 in increments of 30 seconds to a minute. It's like starting with an empty bar when weightlifting.

Meditating in the shower is pretty easy IMHO and you can easily go up to 15 min, even for beginners. Meditation is mostly about anchoring your mind to something, most people do it with their breathing because that's what we see in movies and stuff.

In the shower, you can use the sound of the water or the feeling of the water on your head to anchor your mind. Since it's something you don't control and there are multiple sensory reactions created from it, it's pretty easy to be present and observe your thoughts.

This doesn't necessarily work for everyone but I have tried many types of meditations and this one is the easiest for me.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#70

Post by JohnFen »

hangonhn wrote: post #15

Full disclosure, I work for a mental health startup. Some of you may not know but many tech companies, especially in the Bay Area, has mental healthcare benefits via their EAP (Employee Assistance Program). You should find out from your HR. The one I work for makes a point of making it super easy to find a therapist for the patient and the appointments can be done in person or over video. EAPs are generally free. Ple…

> You should find out from your HR

I'm so torn about this advice. It's probably OK in most companies, but there certainly are companies where informing your employer that you feel the need of mental health assistance would harm your work situation.

If possible, it might be better to find what resources are available without involving HR or your manager. That information may be in the packet of stuff you got during onboarding, or on the employee web site, etc.

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