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Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

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Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#591

Post by phyzome »

blahedo wrote: post #351
mtlynch wrote: post #33

Staying warm. In the winter, I used to stay warm by turning up the thermostat. Then I discovered (via HN) the Low-Tech Magazine article, "Insulation: first the body, then the home." [0] The article argued that it's much more efficient to focus on heating yourself rather than your whole living space. I invested in high-quality wool clothes that I wear in layers and warm slippers. Now, I keep my home about 5 degrees F…

I've known this one for years and years but it always surprises a few of my students (who come from warmer climates) when I mention it: The scarf goes on the inside of the coat. If you put the scarf on the outside, like you think you've seen in TV and movies, it's just decoration. Put it on the inside and it's an insulation layer and it blocks the cold air from blowing down your front. Absolutely game-changing. (Also…

That makes sense, sort of like a gasket. But for biking, I wear it on the outside so I can keep it over my mouth, allowing me to retain some warmth in my breath.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#592

Post by mmaunder »

Not my whole life but stuff I’ve discovered:

Realizing that sitting for 8 to 12 hours per day coding is catastrophic for my health.

Understanding the incredibly high and hidden cost of conflict and anger. Films romanticize fighting the good fight. Avoiding a fight (legal, arguments, etc) until you absolutely can’t is worth a lot.

Creativity and intellectual progress happen in a quiet relaxed and happy environment.

Leadership starts with humility.

Big companies signal unassailable leads and competence but tend to be wildly dysfunctional which makes them vulnerable.

Yoga fixes lifelong back pain that drugs, swimming obsessively, chiropractors and workouts could not fix.

Confronting death isn’t that scary, even for an atheist.

We don’t deserve dogs.

Everyone is the main character in their story, including you.

You can be good at just about anything you love doing but can’t be good at many things.

You can’t buy time but managing your time obsessively has its own cost.

Early mornings are a very special time because no one else is up and it is the quietest and most productive part of the day.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#594

Post by vlunkr »

xyzelement wrote: post #19

I used to assume the religious people were missing something and missing out on the latest and greatest. Now I am seeing that often it's us the non-religious that have lost something of value and are trying to replace it with things that don't work as well.

As a religious person who has deeply considered leaving it, I've never understood the arrogance of some atheists. For me it was disturbing to try to internalize the ideas that the universe is uncaring, that good and evil are made up, that your consciousness is basically like the contents of a stick of RAM that will vanish when it loses its power source.

Even the original "God is dead" quotes from Nietzsche sound mournful, not arrogant. From what I understand he was trying to convey the same thing you are: that by turning away from religion, we are undoing many of the basic moral underpinnings of our culture. Now we have to rebuild them with something new, and quite obviously, people can't agree on one set of ideas.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#595

Post by spacedcowboy »

xyzelement wrote: post #19

I used to assume the religious people were missing something and missing out on the latest and greatest. Now I am seeing that often it's us the non-religious that have lost something of value and are trying to replace it with things that don't work as well.

I don't think they're missing out. I just think they're deluded.

It's not the worst thing in the world to be deluded - and frankly I just don't care what they do and say unless it starts to impact me and mine. It's not religion per se I dislike - people are free to live their lives as they see fit, it's the control-structure scam of an organized religion that reels in the gullible, the poor, the disadvantages, those who believe what they're being told. That is disgusting, IM(ns)HO.

These megapastors (and even not-so-megapastors) bilking their flock to pay for the latest Learjet... I think they believe in religion as much as I do, tbh.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#596

Post by high_byte »

holding pens & pencils wrong. I've known since I was in like 2nd grade when my teacher told me. I only tried to change it in my twenties with some success in my mid-late twenties. I work on the computer mostly so I rarely write, but I keep trying to improve!

see second image here to see what I mean by wrong: https://thecrackedamethyst.tumblr.com/post/180226225116/appa...

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#597

Post by maximus-decimus »

I realised in my 20's I was tying my shoes wrong and that's why my laces always got lose. I don't think I ever had them loosen themselves since I learned the correct way from this Ted X video : https://www.ted.com/talks/terry_moore_how_to_tie_your_shoes?...

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#598

Post by seanmcdirmid »

rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

I'm trying to convince my wife that this is the way to go, but she keeps yelling at me for hiding her stuff in the bathroom (I even bought drawer organizers!). I've taken a break from doing it, but it took me personally 40 years to figure it out, and she is a gen younger, so we have time.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#599

Post by teucris »

rjmill wrote: post #152

When my then-gf/now-wife and I first moved in together, I got really mad at her because she kept "hiding" my stuff when I left it out for more than a day. I couldn't find anything! At some point, I yelled, "It's like you don't even want to see any of my things when I'm not using them!" Then I stopped for a second. For the first time in my life, it made sense. The whole point of putting things away is to hide them! No…

I will caveat this with something I learned from “How to Keep House While Drowning” - an incredible book for overwhelmed parents, neurodivergent people, and those going through depression:

Make your home work for you, don’t work for your home.

If that means the best way for you to live your life is to leave things out so you can find them more easily, then do that. Chances are though that having a “home” for everything (mentioned in other comments) is going to work better for you. It’s a process of learning and iteration.

Re: Ask HN: Something you’ve done your whole life that you realized is wrong?

#600

Post by geocrasher »

lame-robot-hoax wrote: post #535
thn-gap wrote: post #23

Not telling my friends that I love them. I was 28 the first time a friend told me "I love you" in a pure friendship way (and while sober), and without being a part of a special situation. I've also done it afterwards, and because I had never told my friend i love them, it made the message even stronger. It feels wrong that we don't do this more often.

I don’t feel comfortable telling people I love them outside of a serious relationship, so this always makes me feel a touch weird. Like, my best friends, I love them in a sense I guess…but I wouldn’t say that. It just doesn’t feel natural to me. I’d characterize our relationship as close, and that I care about them a lot, but “love” isn’t something that comes to mind outside of my parents or someone I’ve been in a lo…

You need to understand that expressing love, and being in love are separate things. Saying "I love you" to one of your buddies doesn't mean you're lusting after them, just that you care about them in a deeper way. I still struggle with it, but I say "I love you, brutha!" or "love you, dude!"

I'm also an only child. I wasn't told "I love you", I was told "shut up". Being able to say "I love you" to somebody in the context we're discussing has been a game changer for me. It's just so freeing.

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