Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

Post by codetrotter » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 12:18 PM UTC

Netcob wrote: post #523

codetrotter wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…

Dave's Garage has some good stories!

Post by pretzelhands » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 12:19 PM UTC

mistersquid wrote: post #146

One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…

Post by StavrosK » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 12:26 PM UTC

rkagerer wrote: post #446

nzealand wrote: post #365

A software engineer, a priest, and a doctor are trying to enjoying a round of golf. Ahead of them is a group playing so slowly and inexpertly that in frustration the three ask the greenkeeper for an explanation. “That’s a group of blind firefighters,” they are told. “They lost their sight saving our clubhouse last year, so we let them play for free.” The priest says, “I will say a prayer for them tonight.” The doctor…

I'm a firefighter programmer and I liked this one.

Post by StavrosK » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 12:30 PM UTC

whoisburbansky wrote: post #252

troutpanda wrote: post #170

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…

The "you learn limits in like, 9th grade" comment reminds me of this one: Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells he…

Post by kevincox » Thu, Jan 21, 2021, 12:34 PM UTC

tensility wrote: post #532

codetrotter wrote: post #160

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…

This joke must have been written by a journalist who's never been to Microsoft and doesn't bother to fact check their work, since the Microsoft campus is in Redmond and the tallest buildings there are only six stories high.