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Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

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Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#561

Post by bloqs »

varjag wrote: post #302
elefantastisch wrote: post #185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Read through the thread. Look how many stories there are of people losing years and years to something that they now regret. The realization is that this is the norm , not the exception. We're all just fragile and fallible and trying to make our way through life as best we can, and we all end up messing up big somewhere along the way. It's easy to look back on 10 wasted years and think you failed, you blew your one c…

This thread is self-selecting: people who have no big regrets clearly wouldn't be posting here.

I'd agree but also add that it's not going to select people it hasnt happened to /havent realised yet too.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#562

Post by bloqs »

russellbeattie wrote: post #435
bloqs wrote: post #53

To everyone in this thread, a piece of advice I didn't initially believe but over many years I have understood more: "everyone loses 10 years to something, somewhere along the line"

Wow. That makes me feel so much better!! Seriously. 2011 to 2021 were those years for me. I've beat myself up over not making forward progress in life, if not regressing, for an entire decade . The idea that there's a saying about it is somehow comforting (assuming of course that the decade is now over). It's like when you stop and realize that "existential crisis" is a cliche phrase because so many others have exper…

A peek at your website tells me that if I could have achieved half of what you have by your age I would be happy, dont sweat it.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#563

Post by christianboyle »

Loughla wrote: post #231
robertk wrote: post #158

Nothing. Free will doesn’t exist so I just accept what comes my way and naively trust the universe not to be too much of a d$&#. Hopefully that gets me to the finish line.

I legitimately do not understand the philosophical exercise of 'free will doesn't exist'. Yes it does. I could walk into the street right now. I could walk into the office next door and slap a co-worker. I could learn German. I could leave my life and walk to China. What is your justification that free-will doesn't exist? Other than biological needs like eating and sleeping, I have control over the rest. Or, rather,…

Free will is a way to describe the macroscopic behavior of human beings, analogous to how we talk about temperature rather than listing the position and velocity of every molecule of air in a room.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxqcuPZnOl4

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#565

Post by yashg »

arethuza wrote: post #260
yashg wrote: post #257

Not getting a CS/engineering degree is my biggest regret. I would go back and get an engineering degree. I have 20 years of experience and I am a CTO. But even today CTO level openings need a CS/engineering degree from a brand name school. My resume won't make it past automated filters at top companies. When people say education and degrees don't matter, it just fills me with rage and regret.

I suspect that any organisation that filters you out because of the lack of a CS/engineering degree is probably an organisation that doesn't deserve you!

Yes that's what I say to myself as a consolation.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#566

Post by FrankyHollywood »

A little late to the party, but my biggest regret is not making choices earlier in life. Always had many interests. In high school I did many extra extracurricular activities, I was programming at a local software company, I played piano in a band, I took guitar lessons because wanted to be a rock guitarist, started 3 studies in university, etc etc. It caused a lot of stress, and I never was really good at any of these.

Everyone always says you have to think about your what you want to do in life, but equally important is what not to spend time on. You can't have it all. If you want everything you end up with nothing.

Although I'm doing fine at the moment I see old friend having advanced further in their careers, due to focus, less stress and becoming really good at something. I kind of regret not giving my life direction in the past, choosing something and go for it.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#567

Post by paidefsou »

hirvi74 wrote: post #463
voisin wrote: post #429

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Jobs was good at echoing the wisdom of people smarter than him, but not so great at using those principles to fix his own life. This applies to most people.

Yep, my favorite philosopher, Alan Watts basically died from alcoholism. Though, I am not sure whether his teachings would condone that or not for I have seen a few people argue either way.

One of my best too! Best line i have ever read is quoted in a few lines i wrote here...https://www.pedefsou.com/posts/still-forgeting-to-live-the-m...

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#568

Post by amorriscode »

andrejandre wrote: post #213
DontchaKnowit wrote: post #179

Always had an obsessive personality. Raised Christian. Always had a bent for pushing boundaries. Got interested in the nuerochemistry of psychoactive substances. Got very involved in educating myself about drug usage, until I was finally comfortable trying them. Queue ~6 years of polysubstance abuse, wasted money, and fake ass friends. Did everything under the sun I could get my hands on. I think the list of unique d…

You will find your people. You looked underneath a stone not many people turn over. I don't have such a drug story, but I do feel like an alien often. I tend to only be capable of socializing with people who deeply align with my goals and ambitions. Those being: calisthenics, software, fitness, coding, cooking, being organized, etc. I don't give myself a hard time for seeking a 'strata' of people, etc. Be selective.…

Fellow alien here. Agree with Andre. Just embrace who you are and give it time. You've got a lot of life left to live and plenty of time to find fellow aliens to hang with.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#569

Post by amorriscode »

missedthecue wrote: post #327

Losing the relationship with my best friend and girlfriend when I was in my twenties. We had been friends ever since we were kids and then dated all through school and college. We both knew marriage was in the cards. But then she left. No one cheated. No broken trust. No drama. She told me she wanted to know what it's like to be alone, which I mean, fair enough after so many years of just us. Since then, many wonderf…

Time to go find her. This is a romance story waiting to be written.

Re: Ask HN: What's Your Biggest Regret?

#570

Post by em-bee »

AlgorithmicTime wrote: post #96

Wish I had kids when I was in my early 20s rather than my early-mid 30s.

i wanted to respond to this comment, but it's dead: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=33261300 so i'll write this here because it fits. i hope you'll notice it some day :-)

i fully agree. i had my kids late and i am almost fifty now. i am not regretting having kids so late, but i feel much better than i thought i would feel at that age. and that's what got me thinking that having kids earlier would mean we'd now be independent and, given the higher income would be able to do a lot more interesting things than i was able to earlier. again. i have no regrets, especially because i was able to travel and live in many different places before i got married, much more than the average person, which i would not have been able to do, had i married and gotten kids earlier. so it's a tradeoff, but it's something well worth considering. just make sure you have a partner that shares your motivations.

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