A SQL query walks into a bar and sees two tables, walks up to them and says 'Can I join you?'
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
541–550 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#542A physicist, a mathematician and a programmer are in a car driving on a windy mountain path. All of a sudden as they round a corner, the brakes fail. After a few terrifying moments, the car skids to a halt and they emerged unscathed.
The physicist thinks for a second, and says "It must be the lower pressure due to the air, it's made some of our brake fluid evaporate, we should get some more brake fluid before we get back in the car." The mathematician says "No if we calculate the rate of a evaporation we'd never lose that much. It must be a leak in the lines. We should fix the leak before we get back in" The programmer says "Let's get back in the car and see if it's reproducible."
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#543https://people.csail.mit.edu/gregs/ll1-discuss-archive-html/...
A classi one by Anton van Straaten that is both funny and wise.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#544Earlier quoted context omitted.
A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…
This joke must have been written by a journalist who's never been to Microsoft and doesn't bother to fact check their work, since the Microsoft campus is in Redmond and the tallest buildings there are only six stories high.
Well, I can at least tell for sure that I’m on Hacker News, now. :)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#545Earlier quoted context omitted.
This would never have happened if the joke had been made by one of those 10X Comedians.
I think without actually getting into the 10x debate regarding engineers, we can all agree that there are definitely 10x comedians.
Analogous to programming, the average joke-teller just isn’t that funny, making 10x more achievable.
“Think of a comedian.” There probably isn’t a 10x that comedian for you.
“Find the first person to tell you a joke live next week; considering them as a proxy for average, there is almost surely a 10x comedian out there.”
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#546A physicist, an engineer and a programmer were in a car driving over a steep alpine pass when the brakes failed. The car was getting faster and faster, they were struggling to get round the corners and once or twice only the feeble crash barrier saved them from crashing down the side of the mountain. They were sure they were all going to die, when suddenly they spotted an escape lane. They pulled into the escape lane…
Love this one. I've heard a variant where the programmer suggests pushing it back up the mountain to reproduce it.
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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#547A byte tells his wife "Honey, I'm not feeling too well - I think I have a parity error".
She replies "I thought you looked a bit off!"
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#548C programmer is bartending. Someone says "get me a double whiskey, plus a root beer" Drinks arrive, customer asks: "hey why is there ice cream in this?" "I had to make it to a root beer float when you added it to the double"
There isn't any significance to the fact that it's a root beer, right? That was slightly distracting. I wonder if this would be cleaner if it was a 7-up.
Do people make 7-up floats?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#549In Europe, the surname of Niklaus Wirth (inventor of the Pascal programming language) is pronounced “veert”; in the United States, it’s pronounced “worth.“ Thus, in Europe, he’s called by name; in the US he’s called by value.
The meaner version explicitly says Niklaus, and Nickle's as well.
This was the original:
Whereas Europeans generally pronounce his name the right way ('Nick-louse Veert'), Americans invariably mangle it into 'Nickel's Worth.' This is to say that Europeans call him by name, but Americans call him by value.
- Introduction by Adriaan van Wijngaarden at the IFIP Congress (1965). (https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Niklaus_Wirth)
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#550This one was recently on the HN front page: