531–540 of 585 posts
Local groups all over the place: https://www.sca.org/
Earlier quoted context omitted.
If it isn't rule based, what's with the shunning of people who break rules?
Because it's not about rule breaking specifically- not everyone who breaks rules are shunned. https://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/faq/shunning/
I believe a lot of the fostering of a “regular cwrowd” has to do with the architecture of the space. Both places had tight spaces near the staff. Also, the staff were interesting in each places, which started conversations or kept them going during slow times. So the crowd may not be at the tippy-top best coffee shop.
My neighborhood. When we moved in we sat out front every evening, and made small talk with every single person who walked by. Some were caught off guard, some kinda just waved and moved on, but most stopped to talk. What's interesting is that people who had lived in that neighborhood nearly 20 years together had never talked, and met for the first time as both stopped to chat at nearly the same time. Then we started…
It's funny, in a lot of mainland Europe (i.e. not UK, also not non-rural France IME) that's completely normal. People would rather sit at the front (even if they don't have a garden/balcony/anything at the front, just sit on the doorstep or chair in the street) with a coffee/smoke and chat to neighbours or nearest shopkeeper. In the UK I think it's probably more common not even to use your private back garden with yo…
Running groups are very welcoming, and they're only about improving yourself - it's hard to compete with most people in a running group. If you show up enough times to a regularly scheduled running group, you'll make friends by default.
You can't have a regularly scheduled event, where you spend 30-60 minutes with people just chatting about life, without starting to know them and becoming friends.
Earlier quoted context omitted.
I am super interested in getting into motorsports as a driver but really not sure how/where to start. Why do you say to start with RallyCross? Is it best to still start by volunteering as a first way of getting involved? What are useful skills to have/develop for volunteering? Do you recommend doing some kind of rally driving school / classes like DirtFish? Do you find sim racing useful as prep/practice if you drive,…
Hey! so, you asked me about my hobby, so you're gonna get a book :) Feel free to email me via gmail, I'm Devon. RallyCross - just show up with a stock car, preferably some simple FWD car. Learn how to remove the ABS fuse before you go, and bring a tire pressure gauge. A lot of newbies don't remove the ABS fuse and they have to unlearn how to drive with the computer doing weird things that slow them down (the computer…
The church is like a second family for me. I made so many great friends there! Of course it will not be for everyone, but if you are open to it you can try.
A fitness community. This could be either a BJJ (Brazilian Jiu Jitsu) place or even a CrossFit gym. I've done both and while I'm not here to promote CrossFit, I am here to say that a group fitness class is awesome for meeting other people and finding a community of people that do something similar as you, but have absolutely nothing to do with your work. I workout with Police officers, Lawyers, Doctors, Dentists, Sta…
It's been scientifically proven that this is the way to create strong bonds with people. It's why we are easier to get close with former classmates and co-workers.
My fitness group is the rec basketball league that I participate.
I've longed for a secular "church". A place to gather with the community on Sunday to listen to a non-religious sermon (the importance of self-control and techniques to help; the role emotions play in our lives, what they are, where they come from, and how to manage them), form smaller interest groups, and connect with people in the area. I believe The School of Life [0] tried this in London but I don't see any menti…
Earlier quoted context omitted.
You didn't ask me and I'm definitely not suggesting you exclusively go out to bars but if you're in a nicer neighborhood, especially with patrons that skew older, you can basically flat out ask them for advice like you did here and you'll usually get a dump truck of it and their personal stories in exchange for your name and buying a few beers. You might even get invited to a backyard cookout that same weekend. Alcoh…
“Hey sorry to bother you, did you have a minute, I noticed you around here for a bit and I was interested in knowing how you got up to here” Something like that? What’s in it for them for telling you. Is it hard to not sound like you’re soliciting
The default move for pretty much anyone new is to find an open seat at the bar near people who are also there alone (you know because they're sitting apart). Order a drink and try to guess simple questions or comments they might also have in mind. Try to keep it lighthearted. In fact the more restrained you are the more some of those people are going to be weirded out by you. You're expected to be comfortable. They want you to say something. The best way to avoid the extra words is to say things when you're also doing something else. If you are ordering a drink next to them, they're already listening and watching you. If you turn to them to say anything in that moment you didn't need to break any ice.
Everyone likes answering questions about themselves because they're there to be seen as much as you. Notice something and be nice. 90% of the time even just "nice shoes..." will get a smile and an in. "Where did you get them?" Next part depends on the shoes: "What do you do? Do you run? Do you hike? Did you just get out of work (non-slip/uniform)? Did you just come back from a wedding? Do you make balloon animals? (kidding)" "What are you drinking? Nice choice. Have you visited that brewery down the road? You watch football? Have you had the food here? Why don't they ever put enough salt? Can you pass the salt? Hey what's the bartender's name? Melissa! Can I get some silverware and salt? Thanks so much, oh and a shot for my friend." etc.
The hardest part is the first friends, but they also determine what other people you'll meet. Don't overthink it if it seems everyone's the same. Just pick the person you were most interested in first because if you don't then people will still assume that's why you're near them instead.
EDIT: I can't believe I glossed over your question, but...
> What’s in it for them for telling you.
What's in it for them is the same as what's in it for you. You want to relax somewhere and meet new people. For some people there's not much in it for them other than being a friend to someone who needs it. For yet still others, they simply don't ask such questions because they think the mindset of needing to always make a return sounds like work, and they're not there to work.