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Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

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Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#521

Post by netizen-936824 »

_asli wrote: post #510
netizen-936824 wrote: post #453

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You say this like McDonalds food isn't already habit forming Heroin and other opiates need to be available over the counter at a store. This is the only way to remove the black market and the fentanyl tainted supply. If you just decriminalize, people still won't be able to get it and will have to go through a black market. The market doesn't need to be a free for all, we can choose to make advertising the compounds i…

> You say this like McDonalds food isn't already habit forming I said this because McDonalds has already proven that they can do a lot of damage to people with just food.

Sounds like we should regulate food then maybe?

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#522

Post by 4oo4 »

One day I realized that the more smartphone usage and social media become mainstream and the main way people communicate nowadays, the more socially awkward and ADD the average person becomes.

As a very awkward and ADD-ish person my whole life, I realized this gave me a huge advantage: people become more awkward while I stay about the same, and they don't even realize it's happening while I do.

I quit social media a long time ago because of its effect on my ADD and as a result I've put a lot of effort into meatspace (real life) social interactions and have gotten better at them, while most people get worse because they are glued to their phones all the time and most of their "socializing" is only that.

It drives me nuts when I'm hanging with friends and they can't go a few minutes without being on their phone, while I am making an effort to be present and not touch my phone at all.

Many neurotypical, non-awkward people I've met have their self-image constructed around a bunch of fragile assumptions, whereas awkward people are more resilient because of the challenges they've gone through.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#523

Post by eBombzor »

baby wrote: post #373
HEmanZ wrote: post #346

These comments make me feel like I'm getting old, which is weird to me. There are so many proactive comments that remind me of my 18 year old self. Social awkwardness, for me and for a lot of people I know, sort of just vanished with age. - The same kind of weird, unexplainable, vicious attitude that passes for cool among teenagers and some early adults fades for most people. The people who still adhere to that code…

I was watching Euphoria these days, and reading your comment reminded me of a thought I had watching that. School is like prison. People are forced to spend most of their living hours with one another for long periods of time. So like in prison, weird social dynamic develops itself. Once you're out of prison, everything is much smoother. You can simply exit any toxic situations.

Can you exit toxic situations just like that? If you got a toxic workplace and the job market has been tough... it eerily starts to feel like school again.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#524

Post by blindmute »

Just hit the gym, get swole, fuck bitches, don't give a fuck bro. Eat some rare steaks, sun your balls outside, avoid soy and seed oils, wink at women on the street, laugh at their weird looks in response, quit watching porn, use the internet less, embrace your testosterone, watch movies about manly men, read books about warrior poets, admire your physique in the mirror.

Now you're thinking, this is a joke, this is a characature, this isn't me, what a douche, what a phony; nah brah, those douches are happy and confident, you're not; swallow your ego and let your animal side come out. Don't intellectualize about a problem that itself stems from over intellectualization

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#525

Post by blindmute »

laurent92 wrote: post #392
moritonal wrote: post #285

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You're referring to life as a game, and checking off a list of objectives. I might be wrong, but from just what you said it sounds like you did these "phases" because you wanted people to think you were these things, not because you were them. I've found people (especially woman) are good at seeing through these pretenses.

What tells you I wanted people to believe I were these things? I did guitar because it was nice to sing, and the idea of singing around a bonfire and maybe making people sing was just a good feeling. I sang the last song of a friend who died from cancer, and that was a song we had written together. He went for his last sleep on it, that’s the best departure I could imagine for him. Unfortunately, I plateaued at some…

Women basically just want masculinity (often described as "confidence", but there's more involved) plus not being an asshole. Everything else is just gravy

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#526

Post by mbg721 »

blindmute wrote: post #525
laurent92 wrote: post #392

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What tells you I wanted people to believe I were these things? I did guitar because it was nice to sing, and the idea of singing around a bonfire and maybe making people sing was just a good feeling. I sang the last song of a friend who died from cancer, and that was a song we had written together. He went for his last sleep on it, that’s the best departure I could imagine for him. Unfortunately, I plateaued at some…

Women basically just want masculinity (often described as "confidence", but there's more involved) plus not being an asshole. Everything else is just gravy

You figured out what women want?? Have fun with that.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#527

Post by moritonal »

laurent92 wrote: post #505
moritonal wrote: post #432

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I want to help, but you actually supported my point. You learnt guitar because you wanted the good feeling of people joining in you, which is the feeling of admiration. You've supposedly been very successful and are caring of your friends, so I might be wrong of course. But it sounds like a case of socialmedia addiction along with incel-esk belief that if you matched a certain image, women would simply line up. You s…

> good feeling of people joining in you, which is the feeling of admiration. Well, look around you, everyone gets their minute on stage, my schoolmates literally were into acting and showing off all the time. Even the thief of the band is with a cute girl now lol. But about ego-fuelled passions: the more everyone has a skill at making something beautiful, the more fun are your parties, because they all add up. So, it…

Your kindness to your friend was noble. I apologise for my frank diagnosis. Being talented as a cog of the economy is sadly very classically attractive, doubly so because you again do it because you wish to impact other people. I wish you the best.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#528

Post by blindmute »

mbg721 wrote: post #526
blindmute wrote: post #525

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Women basically just want masculinity (often described as "confidence", but there's more involved) plus not being an asshole. Everything else is just gravy

You figured out what women want?? Have fun with that .

I have been having fun with it, very often

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#529

Post by ta2987 »

water8 wrote: post #305
chadash wrote: post #270

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I can't tell if this is sarcastic. Marijuana is both a "schedule 1 controlled substance" (which is a federal classification) and fully legal in 18 states. The term "schedule 1" doesn't say much about danger, which is not to say that there aren't dangerous drugs on the schedule 1 list.

Why are you bringing marijuana into an argument with about meth? What do you think the MA in MDMA stands for

No post body was provided.

Re: Ask HN: If you used to be socially awkward and shy, how did you improve?

#530

Post by eBombzor »

4oo4 wrote: post #522

One day I realized that the more smartphone usage and social media become mainstream and the main way people communicate nowadays, the more socially awkward and ADD the average person becomes. As a very awkward and ADD-ish person my whole life, I realized this gave me a huge advantage: people become more awkward while I stay about the same, and they don't even realize it's happening while I do. I quit social media a…

No offense but you seem to have a superiority complex around all this.
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