The Lord said: "Go Forth and Multiply," but the Forth programmers cried "Please, Lord, give us floating point!" (an oldie, because for the longest time FORTH was only fixed point)
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
521–530 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#522When I am coding I often want to just shout out loud: THIS IS SHIT!
But honestly, I can never remember what this refers to.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#523One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…
Dave's Garage has some good stories!
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#524Three logisticians just finished dinner, and the waitress comes up and asks "do y'all want dessert?" The first logistician says "I don't know." The second also says "I don't know." The last says "yes, we would."
I've heard another variant of this joke: A friend asks a programmer if they'd like to go bowling or go to the movies. The programmer answers: "Yes".
obligatory reddit link: https://www.reddit.com/r/inclusiveor
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#525This is an oldie (I first heard it in the 80s) but is one of my all time favorites. While it can be told about any two classes of people it really applies to a lot of code I encounter: A physicist is showing a thermos to her friend, a programmer. "It's amazing", she said. "You put a cold drink inside and regardless of how hot it is outside the drink stays cold". The programmer is suitably impressed. "But that's not a…
Could you share an example of this? I could be misinterpreting this but say you're building a survey system and you need to keep track of answer types (e.g. text, date, etc) and the answer itself, how can you collapse that into one field?
In graphics programming the typical example of this pattern would be when someone does bespoke computations on coordinates with a bunch of if-elses instead of deriving the proper matrix equation that "just works" due to math.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#526- SQL experience?
+ No experience.
- Ok noted, NoSQL experience.
+ ...
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#527I went to a NodeJS party one time but I didn't like it, only one person could have fun at once.
Then I went to an Erlang party, and it was just a bunch of nerds at separate tables passing notes to each other about how much fun they were having.
But the weirdest was the Haskell party. Nothing happened for six hours and then suddenly everyone said "Well, that was fun!" and went home...
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#528Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you mean you're not a programmer, rad, good compliment. If you mean QA engineers aren't programmers... wtaf?
It's weird how some people admit they still test code by hand
It's not an either/or though. Used to have an assignment where we as developers would write automated tests (regression tests), while we had an experienced software tester with an excel sheet verifying things by hand. But instead of just following the sheet - which is automatable - he knew of a number of different techniques and approaches and he'd still find a lot of issues that nobody else found. For which we'd write a test to avoid it happening again.
I mean I wouldn't have minded if they wrote more automated tests themselves, but I'm also very aware that the mindset of me and developers would quickly become "it's not my responsibility to test my software".
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#529Earlier quoted context omitted.
Reminds me of There are only 2 hard things about programming: - Cache invalidation - Naming things - Off-by-one errors
Cache invalidation isn’t hard, but it used to be and now we can’t get people to think otherwise.
I heard that the two main problems in computer science is that we have only one joke and it's not very funny.