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Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#511

Post by ayepif »

stevage wrote: post #500
lb1lf wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A Soviet engineer needs some plumbing done in his apartment, and calls for a plumber. The plumber arrives, does his thing, and hands over the bill. The engineer is shocked. -'What, this is like a quarter of what I make in a month - for half an hour's work???' Plumber shrugs. -'Well, why don't you come join us? Easy work, well paid, no responsibility - just remember to keep mum about your degree, as we're not supposed…

I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?

They're all former academics/mathematicians!

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#512

Post by gfody »

gumby wrote: post #355
amingilani wrote: post #253

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Could you share an example of this? I could be misinterpreting this but say you're building a survey system and you need to keep track of answer types (e.g. text, date, etc) and the answer itself, how can you collapse that into one field?

Your thermos does not have a switch which you must set to "hot" or "cold" before inserting a liquid, handles solids as well as liquids, and doesn't require you to even think where the theshold might lie between the "hot" and "cold" settings. Instead it just does its best to prevent an energy exchange in either direction without having to even know the variables involved. And the "same subroutine" is basically used fo…

this is the essence of Linus Torvald’s doctrine of good taste

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#513

Post by smlckz »

lb1lf wrote: post #481
hutzlibu wrote: post #245

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Thats a rehash of an old joke: I know it soviet style: A mathematician, a physicist and a biologist are flying in a air balloon and are lost. They encounter a man walking below: The biologist asks him: "do you know, where we are?" "..." the man looks up and says nothing The physicist ask him: "can you please tell us, where we are!" "..." after a while the man says: "in a balloon". The mathematician remarks, ah, he mu…

A Soviet engineer needs some plumbing done in his apartment, and calls for a plumber. The plumber arrives, does his thing, and hands over the bill. The engineer is shocked. -'What, this is like a quarter of what I make in a month - for half an hour's work???' Plumber shrugs. -'Well, why don't you come join us? Easy work, well paid, no responsibility - just remember to keep mum about your degree, as we're not supposed…

I think the integral is

        4 * integrate sqrt(r^2 - x^2) w.r.t. x from x=0 to x=r
which is from the equation of circle with radius r centered at the origin:

        x^2 + y^2 = r^2
        => y = sqrt(r^2 - x^2)
any other way achieve the same using integration?

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#514

Post by BugWatch »

jonathankoren wrote: post #136
jacobobryant wrote: post #91

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Programmers don't change light bulbs; that's a hardware problem.

Q: How many Google engineers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. They just change the standard to dark. ————— Originally (circa 1998) this was Microsoft joke, but this is a good update.

Alternative Answer: None, they'll just google-graveyard the electricity service.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#515

Post by [deleted] »

haihaibye wrote: post #302
vulcan01 wrote: post #282

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Forgive me for my ignorance, but I don't really understand this joke... Is it something to do with the first 2 not knowing the preference of the others? EDIT: never mind, this was also posted later in the thread and there's an explanation there.

Yes. If they personally didn't want it, they'd say "no". As they're uncertain about the others, they say they don't know. Then the final person knows the others all want yes, and personally wants yes, so says yes. It's like lazy evaluation of booleans in if statements.

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#516

Post by infomax »

stevage wrote: post #500
lb1lf wrote: post #481

Earlier quoted context omitted.

A Soviet engineer needs some plumbing done in his apartment, and calls for a plumber. The plumber arrives, does his thing, and hands over the bill. The engineer is shocked. -'What, this is like a quarter of what I make in a month - for half an hour's work???' Plumber shrugs. -'Well, why don't you come join us? Easy work, well paid, no responsibility - just remember to keep mum about your degree, as we're not supposed…

I don't quite get the punchline. I understand how if you integrate in the wrong direction you get a negative area, but is there a double meaning here?

They are all engineers in disguise.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#517

Post by cornel_io »

uncledave wrote: post #390
drno123 wrote: post #337

Earlier quoted context omitted.

So you are not "project manager", but "competent project manager", which is something completely different :)

I’ve never met one of them in the wild. A rare thing indeed.

They're actually more common than engineers with understanding of project management or the concerns that they quite reasonably have. And they're way more valuable than a zug-zug eng.

I say this as a pure engineer who has been a lead many times but never a PM.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#518

Post by 0-_-0 »

barakados wrote: post #292
troutpanda wrote: post #170

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first mathematician orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. "I don't serve half-beers" the bartender replies. "Excuse me?" Asks mathematician #2. "What kind of bar serves half-beers?" The bartender remarks. "That's ridiculous." "Oh c'mon" says mathematician #1 "do you know how hard it is to collect an infinite number of us? Just play along". "There are v…

Hey, it's not cool to steal jokes from /r/antiantijokes. I am a mod there (as evident from my username), and don't appreciate this. The joke is hilarious though.

Joke piracy is rampant these days...

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#519

Post by Cthulhu_ »

oumua_don17 wrote: post #435
mkarliner wrote: post #410

Earlier quoted context omitted.

No, he did't deliver the joke fast enough.

And neither did he create a jira story for delivering the joke in the sprint!!!

Project managers wouldn't read the story anyway, they cough up the headline and maybe a few lines of text and expect the team to fill in the blanks during multiple refinement meetings.

Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?

#520

Post by diarrhea »

roelschroeven wrote: post #507
gumby wrote: post #355

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Your thermos does not have a switch which you must set to "hot" or "cold" before inserting a liquid, handles solids as well as liquids, and doesn't require you to even think where the theshold might lie between the "hot" and "cold" settings. Instead it just does its best to prevent an energy exchange in either direction without having to even know the variables involved. And the "same subroutine" is basically used fo…

Having the two separated gives the ability to disable/re-enable the filter without losing it. That's often very useful. In other cases you're very right.

Then you'd go with `filter_enabled` or similar, which is an entirely different, separate flag. It is not coupled to what the filter itself looks like.
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