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Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

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Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#501

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In most of the EU, the US subsidizes your defense budget, too.

Do you really think that, if we spent more on our armies, you would spend less? Anyway, I'm not saying that our system is better - for example, here it's more difficult to find a job, and wages are usually lower enough (also because of the taxes necessary to finance the welfare state). What I was really thinking about is how much having to worry about medical expenses and retirement money changes the stress level in…

I think that if we spent less on our armies, we'd have more to spend on the sorts of social benefits Europeans regard as table stakes and pride themselves on having.

In the abstract sense, it'd also be curious to see what effect on those social benefits would result from a termination of the security guarantees which the US has extended to an ever broader fraction of Europe since 1949. I'm not so cruel a man as to actually wish such an outcome on anyone, but I certainly would like to see the people charged with the responsibility of governing my nation take an interest in the wellbeing of my nation, rather than investing so much expense and effort in defending an entire continent which can barely be moved even to a token expression of gratitude, much less any actual quid pro quo, in exchange for it.

As regards the remainder of your comment - yes, without social guarantees of medical care and a livable retirement, life is much more stressful than it would otherwise be, and this additional stress is inversely proportional to socioeconomic standing, with an exponential term in the function. Is this really such a novel thought as your comments here make it seem? I find it obvious beyond the point of triviality, but I suppose someone who's never actually lived with it might not previously have had cause to give it any consideration.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#502

How big is the company? You're right to identify this as a hard problem. I've been in your exact shoes before. 100+ person company, the weight is heavy. The good news is that it's totally possible to get out without wrecking the company's outlook. But it does take a minor amount of time investment. Perhaps it's possible to view it as a new challenge: how to quickly hire or find someone within your org who is capable…

> Give them a (small) comp bump If you did this to me I'd give you the finger and find another job. You want me to take over running the company - you'd better be ready to give me a large increase in compensation.

Stating my assumption here: If you're already demonstrating the ability to do my day-to-day, I'd suggest you should already have a nearly congruent compensation (otherwise I'm doing something wrong).

Otherwise, yes, obviously compensation is a crucial component of this plan.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#503

First, talk this over with your wife. She deserves to know what's going on with you and you need her counsel and strength. Second, recognize that an acquisition is a change of life - that can certainly make one feel anxious and depressed, no matter how much you may have looked forward to this milestone. Third, nobody is indispensable. If you died in a car crash today, the company would find a way to continue. In your…

Excellent advice, though I must say that > If you died in a car crash today, the company would find a way to continue. might not be the most comfortable way to describe a person's importance when they're feeling down. I would instead say "if you quit today suddenly with no warning,".

You're right - with a bit more thought, I would have given a less "terminal" example of sudden unavailability. Will keep that in mind, thanks.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#504
FWIW, as someone who's worked those jobs (hard labor and customer service) for roughly 7 years prior to becoming a full-time programmer, I can assure that those jobs aren't stress free. Quite the opposite, actually. I try my hardest to never take my opportunities for granted and I can't imagine pining for the days of being treated like a low-level grunt of a company. I now have unyielding respect for those working those jobs by not idealizing their "simple" profession.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#505

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you really think that, if we spent more on our armies, you would spend less? Anyway, I'm not saying that our system is better - for example, here it's more difficult to find a job, and wages are usually lower enough (also because of the taxes necessary to finance the welfare state). What I was really thinking about is how much having to worry about medical expenses and retirement money changes the stress level in…

I think that if we spent less on our armies, we'd have more to spend on the sorts of social benefits Europeans regard as table stakes and pride themselves on having. In the abstract sense, it'd also be curious to see what effect on those social benefits would result from a termination of the security guarantees which the US has extended to an ever broader fraction of Europe since 1949. I'm not so cruel a man as to ac…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#506

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do you really think that, if we spent more on our armies, you would spend less? Anyway, I'm not saying that our system is better - for example, here it's more difficult to find a job, and wages are usually lower enough (also because of the taxes necessary to finance the welfare state). What I was really thinking about is how much having to worry about medical expenses and retirement money changes the stress level in…

I think that if we spent less on our armies, we'd have more to spend on the sorts of social benefits Europeans regard as table stakes and pride themselves on having. In the abstract sense, it'd also be curious to see what effect on those social benefits would result from a termination of the security guarantees which the US has extended to an ever broader fraction of Europe since 1949. I'm not so cruel a man as to ac…

Please look up numbers before you claim such ludicrous things next time. http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/MS.MIL.XPND.GD.ZS

So you spend 3,3% of your GDP opposed to what, EU's 1,5% of GDP? And how much of it is for failed wars such as Iraqi one?

You might not look so misinformed next time if you find some sources for your claims...

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#507

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Out of curiosity, how much is the stress in those jobs linked to the fear of losing the job, and how much to the job itself?

Neither, mostly. Or both. Let me see if I can usefully elucidate. In the short term, the stress originates in the fact that the pay sucks; even if you work as hard as you can all the time and get all the hours you can handle, you still barely get by in the best of times - and one serious medical issue, for example, is more than enough to wipe you out financially for good. In the long term, these jobs entail extensive…

Wow, USA is pretty terrible place to live. Here cashiers and such actually ARE stress-free jobs. Managing people is always bigger PITA than just smiling all day on the customers ...

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#508

I don't know directly from any of this, because I am an unlettered redneck with air-cooled teeth and a net worth in the middle four figures. But if I had a serious prospect of ending up with genuine fuck-you money, and all I had to do to get it was keep doing what I was already doing and gut it out for a few more years, then that is precisely what I would do, to the best of my ability. I get that you're suffering, an…

You're right about those jobs being physically wearing and not secure. My brother works at Target and lost 100 pounds over the course of a year. He wasn't trying to lose weight, it just happened because he was on his feet all day running around and because of other physical demands of the job. He does not seem stress free and it is not a job he likes, nor does it pay well. I would definitely never want his job.

My experience is the opposite - paid workout without many responsibilities is nice job. It's monotone as hell and you have to forget any real ambition. Also bosses often suck ... But when you find position under good managment it IS stressfree job imo. It's more about tradeoffs - what you want from life vs. how hard are you willing to work for it.

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#509
It is always the things we do not have that we crave the most, don't let yourself be fouled by the romantic "when finally this and that will have happened, when finally I work at McDonald's" ideas.

As a psychologist it sounds to me like you're in a serious crisis, a mixture of burn out, depression and lack of meaning. There is no "trick" to magically just "snap out of it". You might find counseling, coaching or therapy useful (especially logotherapy which focuses on finding meaning in life). Please do not just see a GP to get some drugs, antidepressants treat a symptom (namely brain chemistry) but it doesn't solve the underlying Probleme. Just "sucking it up" will not work, please do not mistake mental problems as "oh it's ONLY mental, it's not like I'm REALLY ill" - psychological problems are DEADLY!! Depression on deadly!

From my point of view it would be best not to give up all that you worked for for so long but to find someone you can train in your job and who can help you out. It might look like only you can do this job because it's so complex but it will not all collapse when you find someone to help you out for now, who you can train to learn how you manage stuff. They will learn and they will be able to manage it even though that might seem unrealistic to you at the moment. You NEED to take care of yourself before doing anything else at the moment. Don't go "but I have to be strong now and push through this" ... You will only become more miserable...Many people find it helpful to talk to a counselor to get a clearer picture about what they need now and how they can overcome their current struggle. Feel free to message me on Catharina.eichert@gmx.net if you have any questions, I'm happy to help out if anything I said resonated with you. Kind regards, Catharina

Re: Ask HN: I don't want to be a founder anymore

#510
post #506

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think that if we spent less on our armies, we'd have more to spend on the sorts of social benefits Europeans regard as table stakes and pride themselves on having. In the abstract sense, it'd also be curious to see what effect on those social benefits would result from a termination of the security guarantees which the US has extended to an ever broader fraction of Europe since 1949. I'm not so cruel a man as to ac…

Please look up numbers before you claim such ludicrous things next time. http://data.worldbank.org/indicator/MS.MIL.XPND.GD.ZS So you spend 3,3% of your GDP opposed to what, EU's 1,5% of GDP? And how much of it is for failed wars such as Iraqi one? You might not look so misinformed next time if you find some sources for your claims...

I see 14.5% vs. 4.1%, US and EU respectively, in the 2015 figures listed there. US and EU GDP being roughly equal, this works out to an absolute factor of ~3.5x as well as a relative one, which strikes me as fairly significant.

To be sure, US military spending isn't purely motivated by our concern for our NATO commitments. But, considering that the US contribution constitutes by far the lion's share of resources available to the alliance in both absolute value and percentage of GDP, it seems to me that much more effort is required, than you exert here, to argue that the termination of such commitments, or even simply the reallocation of significant funds away from US military expenditure, would in no material way affect spending priorities among the EU nations.

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