Ask HN: Why keep living?

I've had my confidence shattered as well. It happens and can take years to recover it. I for one, am going out kicking and screaming. You've made it this far, saying "f the world" isn't offing yourself. It's bitterly going down to the last round.

I told my boss at work that my gravestone will never say "he was afraid to speak up for himself" or "he was afraid to take his shot". Because I'm not going out quietly, nor am I living meekishly. Speak out when you sense injustice. Join me, make yourself and presence heard.

I'd recommend if you're feeling that down, maybe try a change of scenery. Go to Costa Rica or someplace in Mexico, sit on the beach for weeks and drink beer. Find someone to have sex with, even if you have to pay for it. Use a rubber.

There's no way it's impossible for you to snap out of this. You can, and you will. I hope my words help you.

I have lived in countries like Angola, Uganda, Rwanda with people having 1 /20 of the things what an American has. But they are much happier overall, because they have more in what makes a life human.

First they have friends and they have family. People in Western societies live alone, specially in America most people don't have friends at all. They can live in a McMansion completely isolated from the rest of the world.

"family" for an American means:"your parents" or "your children". For an African person could mean between 20 to 40 people.

This is an advantage for some things. In the west you could do whatever you want, without having to convince people in your family that does not understand, but also is a tremendous disadvantage as you are alone in tough times.

Americans are puritans, they can't see a breast from a woman. The people that do, do it for commercial profit reaping the "scandal", like Madonna or MTV annual prices shows.They could call the cops if they see you making pictures to a kid smiling on the street(being puritan means they are obsess with sex and have a tremendous dirty mind).

In Africa sex is normal. There is no such a concept of "possessing another person" like in the West. In my opinion this alone is pathological creating hypocrisy and jealously . You see people naked from both sexes taking a bath in the river, or women breastfeeding their children in public. It is normal there, like having sex with multiple people(which makes AIDS a great problem).

In Africa you have fantastic weather. Great sun, no winter in most of the continent. In the West lots of people don't see the sun at all because they are working all day inside buildings. In places like Boston you can't simply not live out there in winter, it is too cold.

The food in the US is so preprocessed. People are overweight because the food they eat is so artificial. Food that have stayed in the fridge or is industrially processed destroys lots of useful substances(enzymes, co enzymes, vitamins, fiber and lots of substances that let you incorporate other substances).

In Africa people is young, lots of kids smiling everywhere. The West is becoming an older and older society with worries everywhere, fear for the future.

So I recommend you look at the basics in your live: Do you have friends, love, exercise, quality food, sleep well, go outside frequently?

Do you work too much or too hard?

If not, you need to change your habits first. Traveling far away is a great way of being forced to change your habits fast.

Once you have your basics, start using self help material, like books and videos and learn what works for you. There is amazing material out there, the problem is knowing what works and what does not.

You can learn meditation, which is basically training for controlling your internal thoughts. But this is advanced, you first need to have the basics solved.

However, during the time that I'm still here, whenever I feel like crap, I blame myself. If my thoughts are depressing me, then it's my job to change the thought patterns. Committing suicide seems like a cop-out to me. If it's to escape pain, I have to ask: where does the pain come from? Who made up the rules that I should be happy about this and that and I should be unhappy about this and that? Is it society? Is it my family? Nature? Well, if it were up to me, I'd rewrite the rules so that I win. And ultimately, I have to remember that it is in fact up to me to feel good or not.

Easier said than done, but this is the outlook that makes me reject feeling like crap. Remember, your thoughts don't define you. Just because you're the one thinking certain thoughts doesn't mean you should accept them all: pick and choose which ones you allow and which ones you should consider alien. Negative thoughts can be ignored, they can be changed. Meditation. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Travel to foreign lands.

My parents were murdered just under 10 years ago. I have spent the last decade fighting depression, PTSD, and a society that doesn't know how to deal with extreme emotional effects. I feel like I'm finally getting out of that hole. It has taken a long time.

Your recent anxiety sounds like the late effects of PTSD, or some other trauma related condition. I would highly recommend speaking to a professional (actually, speak to as many as it takes to find one you like). You aren't alone, and your condition isn't unique. There will be good advice out there.

As to people being happier when you're around, That's usually a good "life" metric to check, but in times of personal crisis, you want to think about you. Who are you happiest around? Can you talk to them about your feelings? If not, can you spend more time with them?

Life is sometimes hard, and "sometimes" can last a long time, but there will be good bits, then better bits, then eventually, the majority will hopefully be good.