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Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

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Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#51

Post by scott-smith_us »

When I was in my late 20s, I was taking college courses in the evening after working a 9-5 software job. On the nights where I didn't have to go to class, I usually had homework to do, and I found it really difficult to switch gears after a day at work to get into homework mode.

I'd also joined the company softball team, and I noticed that on the nights where I got back from playing softball after work, it was almost effortless to roll up my sleeves and start on my homework.

It's sometimes difficult to pause an overdue/critical task to go take a 30-45 minute walk, because it just seems like wasting _more_ time. But I've found that after a walk or some kind of exercise break, I often become "un-stuck" on a task that I was bogged down or procrastinating on.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#52

Post by SillyUsername »

I second asking elsewhere but as you may want some good news, I'll give you my experience - I experienced Post Traumatic Growth ( https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Post-traumatic_growth ).

I experienced a severe 4 month PTSD event in 2019 pre-covid (covid later didn't help), plus 1.5 years of related issues, the psychological side effect of constant depressing stress that couldn't be escaped resulted in physical problems - twitches, verbal stuttering, indecisiveness, emotional swings and regular memory loss (both short term and of the event).

Around the end of 2021 as I recovered I found I had the ability to learn like really, really easily, I did 3 IT certifications in 3 months, MS, Google and an AWS cram, got noticed at work for higher achievement in solving issues there too - winning a hackathon and receiving an unrelated pay rise - it felt like no boundaries and I put this down to the fog lifting. I was still a little unhappy behind the scenes despite this, but by 2022 I felt 95% recovered (I doubt I'll be 100%" as I'm a different person now as a consequence).

Sadly the ability and urge to achieve like in 2021 went away - a window in total of around 6 months I was able to run at this "higher level" without much effort.

Articles on PTG say extroverts are more likely to experience it - I'm introverted but can socialise when challenged or feel like putting in effort (but prefer not to and avoid presentations etc.), so don't get disheartened if you think you may not have the personality for it, just remember to watch out in case it does and take full advantage :)

Extra info: Did 2 sessions a week with a psychiatrist for months - talking - not EMDR or CBT as they weren't as effective* - usually ended up in tears every time and over running - I rarely cried at all up to 2019, and flat out refused to take drugs the doctor suggested because they affect concentration and I didn't want to dull my ability more than it was already.

* They were, but I didn't want to go down that route as one session made me experience a load of events I'd forgotten details of, to the degree it was like hypnosis, I could see more, hear new noises and almost feel the cold touch of things in the memories almost like I was asleep. That was expected but I wasn't warned of it properly.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#53

Post by FFRefresh »

dezeiner wrote: post #47
FFRefresh wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is not meant as a criticism, hopefully more of an inquiry if you so choose. Is it possible that your 'feeling' of your brain being irreparably damaged is actually factually incorrect? And that your assumptions/model of the plasticity of the brain may be wrong and skew a bit negative? Is it possible that these negative thought patterns are holding you back? Awhile back, I became aware of some irrational negative…

This is what therapists have told me, but when my mind totally blanks when asked a question in a meeting, or when I can't vocalize a coherent thought without stumbling over myself, or when I have to read a paragraph 20 times over for the information to stick, I have a hard time believing it's just a negative self-perception.

On examining the negative thought patterns, I think there's at least a couple parts to it:

1. If you very much believe no amount of physical health interventions will have any cognitive effects, then it seems like the probability of you sticking with any sort of health/fitness routine is very low. If in fact, health/diet/fitness DOES have positive cognitive effects (it's been proven scientifically and there are tons of anecdotes), you may end up depriving yourself of a really great thing for improving quality of life and cognition. So examining the possibility that your cognition is not doomed and immune to physical health interventions could greatly increase the odds of improvement.

2. In 2 of your examples, they were social situations. In my experience, negative thought patterns can definitely impact that. I'm saying this somewhat loosely, as I'm not an expert, but have done research in the past on this: Thoughts can trigger bio/physiological responses in the body/brain that can definitely impact cognition.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#54

Post by tunesmith »

No magic advice from me either.

I will say that as a pretty practical, science-minded person, I generally don't get into stuff that seems like woo pseudo-science. But years back I had an agreement with a neurofeedback practitioner (eeg biofeedback) to accept free treatment in exchange for giving her a journal of my experience. And I still believe it helped me quite a bit. It might be some of the same benefits of meditation, but I had never successfully been able to meditate before doing that.

Other than that, I've only got the same probably-trite-sounding drink plenty of water, get lots of sleep, try to keep up your physical activity levels... drink amino acid shakes...

Best of luck to you.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#55

Post by sixtyewoks »

esotericCaveman wrote: post #30

I'm on a similar path, maybe a couple steps ahead. I have a disease which caused constant severe pain from ages 12-29 (currently 31 y/o). I wanted to die for my entire adult life. 2 years ago I started an elimination diet which dramatically reduced my pain. So I know everyone says this, but controlling diet and other substance intake (alcohol, cigs) is a really big deal. I also started microdosing mushrooms a year ag…

> One more piece, which may or may not be appropriate for you, is utilizing sex workers. Having trauma and pain, it was always a shitty experience for me to seek physical comfort. If you aren't ashamed of it, paying for affection can be a great way to meet your needs in a simple, non-judgemental way that's less emotionally and physically draining.

I would caution against this. Many if not most sex workers are also dealing with significant pain and trauma, and by using and abusing their bodies for your own needs, you are likely to be exacerbating this.

See e.g. https://www.adoptnordicwa.org/uncategorized/insights-into-pr... for an account of what sex work is like 'behind the scenes'.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#56

Post by tunesmith »

defnotahuman wrote: post #16
softwaredoug wrote: post #13

Anger. Get angry. A lot of trauma is internalization. You blame yourself. It's made to be your fault. You're told you're a terrible person. Get mad about what happened to you. Anger is your tool for being pissed off and asserting your boundaries. https://cptsdfoundation.org/2022/05/31/the-importance-of-ang...

This is insanely bad advice, IMO. Anger is very hard to control, can easily backfire into self-loathing and cause you to strain existing relationships, which can also further fuel internal anger at oneself. If you get mad about what happened to you and start lashing out at others, you risk isolating yourself and deepening your depression.

anger/rage is different than violence. You can channel and physicalize anger healthily, but you also have to take it slow when learning how.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#57

Post by scott-smith_us »

kbrannigan wrote: post #4

If you have enough saved up. Take 1 year of work, disconnect from the rat's race, go to parties, go dancing, chill at a park, let people look down on you for being unemployed. Hang in there, buy only the things you need. Slowly you'll realize what's important, you'll find yourself. And you'll come back stronger than ever, with a different attitude towards careers, jobs and you'll learn to be human and just BE. EDIT:…

I did this and then spent two (unplanned, additional) years trying to find another gig. I burned through maybe 2/3 of my savings doing this, and that made for a lot of stress and some dark days.

A break from work is definitely a good thing, but I'd add the suggestion that you get as solid a promise/prospect of re-employment as possible to eliminate stress during your time off.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#58

Post by highway-trees »

tunesmith wrote: post #54

No magic advice from me either. I will say that as a pretty practical, science-minded person, I generally don't get into stuff that seems like woo pseudo-science. But years back I had an agreement with a neurofeedback practitioner (eeg biofeedback) to accept free treatment in exchange for giving her a journal of my experience. And I still believe it helped me quite a bit. It might be some of the same benefits of medi…

I was just posting about this too! What style of neurofeedback did your practitioner use? I've been working with someone who uses the EEGer system, and am curious about alternatives.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#59

Post by ericskiff »

Okay, I understand this likely not what you were expecting as an answer, but this is based on my own personal experience as well as reading I did before changing my way of eating (specifically the meta-analysis of dozens of scientific papers in Gary Taubes "Why We Get Fat")

Switching to a keto diet (under 20 net carbs a day) had an immediate and lasting effect on my mental acuity, mental health, energy levels, and overall wellness. I had persistent brain-fog stemming from stress, overwork, bad health habits, and a case of Mumps which left me feeling like a shadow of my former self.

Within 36 hours of changing the way I ate, I felt like I was finally back to myself. I had my quick wit, energy to dig into problems, and a desire to move and do things instead of rest, eat, and wallow.

I'm happy to talk more about it if you're interested, but I'll keep this brief and simply say that trying a 3 day experiment where you keep net carbs (carbs minus fiber) under 20 per day may have a dramatic effect and give you the energy to begin to address other root causes.

Re: Ask HN: How to restore cognition after years of trauma? I feel slow and dumb

#60

Post by tunesmith »

highway-trees wrote: post #58
tunesmith wrote: post #54

No magic advice from me either. I will say that as a pretty practical, science-minded person, I generally don't get into stuff that seems like woo pseudo-science. But years back I had an agreement with a neurofeedback practitioner (eeg biofeedback) to accept free treatment in exchange for giving her a journal of my experience. And I still believe it helped me quite a bit. It might be some of the same benefits of medi…

I was just posting about this too! What style of neurofeedback did your practitioner use? I've been working with someone who uses the EEGer system, and am curious about alternatives.

I don't remember the name, but I had headphones, and stuff stuck to my head with gel, and glasses that would flash lights through my closed eyelids. The part I remember most is it taught me how to "relax" parts of my brain in ways I hadn't before, and which I can do now on demand without any hardware.
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