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Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

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Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#51

Post by jderiksen »

_8j50 wrote: post #46
jderiksen wrote: post #37

I tried to quit programming twice. Once to become a full-time musician (too hard even if you are very good, not enough money). Another time to work in mental health (the training was too intense). I figured out how to make it work for me long-term and the key was to focus on what my needs are both in a job and outside of a job. It also has helped tremendously to put significant effort into learning how to communicate…

What was intense about mental health training if you don't mind my asking? I know nothing about it.

In my particular situation it involved hours of group and face-to-face interactions. I am quite introverted so this proved to be exhausting and unsustainable. I imagine that it is possible to find programs that don't have this style of training but at the time I needed the money so returned to software engineering.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#52

Post by _8j50 »

jderiksen wrote: post #51
_8j50 wrote: post #46

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What was intense about mental health training if you don't mind my asking? I know nothing about it.

In my particular situation it involved hours of group and face-to-face interactions. I am quite introverted so this proved to be exhausting and unsustainable. I imagine that it is possible to find programs that don't have this style of training but at the time I needed the money so returned to software engineering.

Thanks for answering. There goes one field I could never get into either.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#53

Post by rakejake »

gringoDan wrote: post #7

I'd examine some of the assumptions underlying your post. Specifically, it seems like you want to find meaning in your work and to feel "at home in your job". The median reader of Hacker News is in a privileged position to be thinking about these things. In an ideal world, we'd all find fulfillment in our work. But for 90%+ of the world, a job is just a way to put food on the table for your family. Mark Manson is "li…

I think the problem is that anytime you try to find meaning in a job, or look to do your best, there is a very chance that your plans will be spoiled by someone who "just does his job". That attitude typically leads to blame games and people shirking responsibility. After all, if it is just a job and you want to do only what is necessary and go back home, what is the incentive to take one for the team, or collaborate and help out in a trying situation?

This sort of situation rarely happens if everyone in the team is on the same page and has each other's backs. But in today's age of job-hopping every N-years/months for x% increase in pay, there is zero incentive to do anything of that sort.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#54

Post by maligree »

jderiksen wrote: post #37

I tried to quit programming twice. Once to become a full-time musician (too hard even if you are very good, not enough money). Another time to work in mental health (the training was too intense). I figured out how to make it work for me long-term and the key was to focus on what my needs are both in a job and outside of a job. It also has helped tremendously to put significant effort into learning how to communicate…

Hey, thanks for your input! These are good questions.

Funny thing. A few months ago I've also decided to improve my communication skills - both in reading and writing. (Long way to go...) It did hit me that whatever I end up doing in the long run, communication is the only 100%-reusable skill that can pay off anywhere. And so much time is wasted due to sub-optimal communication.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#55

Post by maligree »

gringoDan wrote: post #7

I'd examine some of the assumptions underlying your post. Specifically, it seems like you want to find meaning in your work and to feel "at home in your job". The median reader of Hacker News is in a privileged position to be thinking about these things. In an ideal world, we'd all find fulfillment in our work. But for 90%+ of the world, a job is just a way to put food on the table for your family. Mark Manson is "li…

Thank you!

Something I realized when reading your response is that I winced a tiny bit when you mentioned "finding meaning in your work" - as if that was something I did not believe could be achieved.

I think in my mind it's more about going to work and doing things are not... so made-up. I find this extremely hard to communicate. This may be due to me being too far removed from the actual impact whatever we deliver may have. Or as other posters have pointed out, lack of confidence in the general mission.

Or maybe I haven't yet figured out the real reason and this is just something my brain has made up.

Again, thanks for your response.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#56

Post by maligree »

sherilm wrote: post #12

You are 32ish. That’s still very young in the grand scheme of things and plenty of time to turn things around. Went through this myself, and did a complete 180 at the ripe age of 41, so you are way ahead than me. Introspection can only work so much. “Extro”spection can be twice as effective. You can only know so much internally. You mention not having love for the “art”. What do you have love for? Or what pulls you t…

Great points, thank you.

You also helped me realize that part of all this mess is that I HAVE been feeling old. Well, maybe not old... older. I feel like I got hyper-focused on being a programmer (and I feel I never explicitly committed to it, just sort of went along with it) and now I just realized it's been 16 years.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#57

Post by maligree »

m3kw9 wrote: post #47

What are you really, I mean really trying to do here?

I feel this is a good question, but alone may be a step too far, too abstract to provide insight. At least without guidance.

Isn't the honest answer "I don't know. No-one knows."?

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#58

Post by ChildOfChaos »

maligree wrote: post #57
m3kw9 wrote: post #47

What are you really, I mean really trying to do here?

I feel this is a good question, but alone may be a step too far, too abstract to provide insight. At least without guidance. Isn't the honest answer "I don't know. No-one knows."?

You might not know, but aren't you still trying to do something, you are often just not sure if it is really the right thing.

In the end, most of the time you pick something because if you pick nothing, then that is even worse and then are indeed trying to do something.

Re: Ask HN: Wanting to grow – what questions should you ask yourself?

#60

Post by [deleted] »

JSeymourATL wrote: post #48

I wonder what I could do today that would allow for a breakthrough in my life? I wonder what I can learn today that will benefit everyone? I wonder what choices I can make today that would allow me to experience greater and greater fun and creativity? Source: 15 Commitments of Conscious Leadership by Jim Dethmer. > https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/23275060-15-commitments-...

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