I've found Arthur C. Brooks' wonderful series, 'How to Build a Life" touch on a lot of topics in this realm. Here's an article that's specific to a midlife crisis: https://www.theatlantic.com/family/archive/2022/05/midlife-c...
Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
51–60 of 76 posts
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#52I grew up as a Mormon and became disillusioned with that as I got older and got exposed to Eastern religions. Over time, I also became disillusioned with Eastern religions because they are ultimately nihilistic. I found Eastern Orthodoxy, which is the perfect marriage between Christianity and mysticism. My whole life has been healed as a result of becoming (and continuing to struggle to be) an Orthodox Christian. My…
It's interesting, I had a similar experience (except I started as a non-conforming protestant) but actually bypassed eastern thought (I had already looked into it when I was younger and came to the joking conclusion it was atheism with more steps) and eastern orthodox (knew tons of people who grew up evangelical and got into eastern orthodox in college.) I just dove into the meaninglessness and realized if you really…
Your comment reminded me of the Optimistic Nihilism video by Kurzegesagt [1]. I highly recommend it, as they explain these concepts very well in a short 6min video.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#53Haha fuck, you all are giving me anxiety on me reaching 40.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#54Failed my family in midlife, lost them all, lost everything. Here are my thoughts. Find gratitude. Find humility. Give up ego. Shut down that voice that says 'but I deserve....'. You live better than almost all of humanity ever has. The King of France had a guy with a bucket follow him around and he would crap into it in public. You live better than the King of France. Find a way to make that enough, more than enough…
Man I read and I feel I want to turn my face away from it. But I know your words ring true in my heart and that's probably why I never feel comfortable for long even as I threw bone after bone to myself.
TBH I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm kinda split and need time to think it through. Looks like it's either A or B because of limited energy.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#55Haha fuck, you all are giving me anxiety on me reaching 40.
Don't worry too much. People are different.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#56Earlier quoted context omitted.
If everything matters, then every decision and every moment has weight and also matters. The "existential hope" you are talking about sounds just like "do what thou wilt" or the new, more modern adaptation of that phrase "do what you want as long as it doesn't harm anyone else". That first phrase is an Anton Lavey quote (a satanist) and the second is a nonsensical libertarian version of the same premise. "Do what tho…
I noticed in your original post that you didn’t address the objective truth of Christianity, only that it has helped you. What does one do if one simply cannot believe in the supernatural because of the lack of evidence? I think you’re being a bit uncharitable with the consequences of nihilism — or to be more precise, metaphysical naturalism. I haven’t met very many people, even non-religious people, who truly believ…
I model it like this;
"Nihilism" is a blank canvas (i.e. the substrate/backdrop/support underlying everything). Every other school of Philosophy/Religion is merely a "man-made painting" on that canvas. We cannot look at/enjoy a blank canvas; there is "no support to grasp" for our consciousness when it looks at it. But the moment we paint our chosen Philosophy/Religion over that canvas there is something concrete for our consciousness to "grasp and get itself lost in". Consciousness (and therefore life) now gets a "meaning" even though the painting is but just a veneer which can be changed as and when needed (hence the proliferation of various philosophies/religions).
PS: The above model arises from The Samkhya School of Philosophy (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samkhya) which is an ancient system within Hinduism.
PPS: You might find Philosophy in a Meaningless Life: A System of Nihilism, Consciousness and Reality by James Tartaglia interesting. Free book at: https://www.bloomsburycollections.com/book/philosophy-in-a-m...
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#57Earlier quoted context omitted.
I noticed in your original post that you didn’t address the objective truth of Christianity, only that it has helped you. What does one do if one simply cannot believe in the supernatural because of the lack of evidence? I think you’re being a bit uncharitable with the consequences of nihilism — or to be more precise, metaphysical naturalism. I haven’t met very many people, even non-religious people, who truly believ…
You've asked some very big questions that would require some unpacking to even start to answer, because there are a lot of assumptions and presuppositions and hidden definitions just in the first question of wondering about evidence with regard to supernatural things. This might feel like a cop-out on my part (and it probably is, because I am at work), but the best response I can give to you is that if you really wan…
>"There is no absolute truth" is an absolute-truth claim, which means the whole foundation of that world view is based on a self-contradiction
This is mere sophistry and the phrase does not mean what you think it means. There is no contradiction here.
The phrase is almost always used when comparing/contrasting different schools of philosophies/religions to emphasize that while within the worldview proposed by each of them they may posit absolute truths, outside of their framework there is nothing i.e. the phrase itself has no meaning. There are two different frames of reference at play here.
James Tartaglia in his book (referenced in my other comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32920232) points out that our inability to make sense of reality from the outside in (i.e. Nihilism/no meaning) does not prevent us from giving meaning to reality from the inside out (i.e. as it is lived via any chosen philosophy/religion). The distinction is very important since it resolves a seeming contradiction i.e. how can life be both meaningless and meaningful at the same time?.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#58Earlier quoted context omitted.
I’m glad you found peace, and I am quite intrigued by Orthodox Christianity myself, but your characterisation of “eastern” religions as nihilistic is problematic for two reasons. First, “eastern”. That encompasses a vast array of cultures and traditions so it’s a bit of a meaningless label. Buddhist, Taoist, Hindu, Jain, Sikh (etc) and the deep diversity within all of them. Are they all the same? Some are theistic, o…
I'm not an expert, but I think that Hinduism is morally nihilistic, if you go far enough. Cruelty is just as much a part of what is as non-cruelty. Kali is as much a manifestation of the divine as Vishnu is. And so you get to the point where you cannot say that cruelty is wrong compared to non-cruelty.
It is not that simple, there is a lot of nuance here.
I suggest a study of Samkhya (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samkhya) whose Worldview is the basis that has most influenced the worldviews of the other systems within Hinduism. Kali/Vishnu/other popular Hindu gods are later conceptualizations meant for Popular culture. The Intellectual culture behind it is quite different.
Samkhya defines the Purusha (consciousness) enjoying Prakrithi (everything else) through the interplay of three Gunas (characteristics).
The imposition of a Worldview on a Social Structure is what defines Morality/Ethics/Values. Here is where "Ahimsa" i.e. "non-violence"(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ahimsa) comes into play. You don't condone "cruelty" but are fully aware of its existence (in the interplay of the gunas) and take measures to control it. Kali is one of those concepts who destroys evil by any means but herself is not evil. The idea is similar to Wrathful Deities (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wrathful_deities) from Tantric Buddhism.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#59I've been going through it as well. There are a few things that helped me so far. 1) There's a biological component where happiness follows a U curve. Mid 40's tends to bottom out on happiness then steadily increases. Useful to know since riding it out is a viable strategy. [1] 2) This translation [2] of Marcus Aurelius's Meditations is powerful as a daily reminder that no matter the year or station in life, the stru…
> 1) There's a biological component where happiness follows a U curve. Mid 40's tends to bottom out on happiness then steadily increases. Useful to know since riding it out is a viable strategy. [1]
I'm not sure it's biological. I suspect it's because that's when people's lives tend to suck the most - they have all the demands of career and family, with very litle room for themselves. It would be good to study people who decided to drop out instead and see if they still follow the U curve.
Re: Ask HN: Activity and reading to move through mid-life crisis?
#60Failed my family in midlife, lost them all, lost everything. Here are my thoughts. Find gratitude. Find humility. Give up ego. Shut down that voice that says 'but I deserve....'. You live better than almost all of humanity ever has. The King of France had a guy with a bucket follow him around and he would crap into it in public. You live better than the King of France. Find a way to make that enough, more than enough…
Man I read and I feel I want to turn my face away from it. But I know your words ring true in my heart and that's probably why I never feel comfortable for long even as I threw bone after bone to myself. TBH I don't know what I'm going to do. I'm kinda split and need time to think it through. Looks like it's either A or B because of limited energy.
I was going to leave a harsh comment hoping that the "tough love" sort of approach might help to get you thinking straight but I've decided against it since we don't know each other and everyone's situation is different.
I'll just say that you need to "man up". Life is not always fun/nice/enjoyable/easy/etc. and sometimes you just have to realize that your responsibilities are more important than your feelings; especially when children are involved.
Just know that what you're feeling is normal, it WILL pass (probably in a couple of short years), and you should resist doing anything stupid or permanent. Don't make mistakes with permanent consequences because you are going through a temporary rut.
Exercise and socializing will likely help take the edge off.
You have the good half of your life ahead of you, don't forget that.
If you still need convincing, maybe a therapist is the right choice.
Good luck friend.