Buddhism and meditation. Buddhism will teach you what is pointless and what is not, lets you become fulfilled with whatever you go through, and meditation will give you the strength to pursue your interests without being distracted.
Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
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Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#52I was teaching myself computers and programming while also playing games as a child but I didn't really start doing any lasting/significant work until I was your age.
As another person mentioned, you aren't going to grok much as a child. You should be having fun but if your pursuits involve scrolling social media or otherwise engaging with big tech I would be concerned somewhat...depending on the child.
Nonetheless, you have plenty of time if you can start now. Try not to get sucked into the grind of work until you have had time to explore technologies on your own.
I worked in a family retail store at about your age which gave me unlimited time to read books, tinker with Linux, and start some serious coding while handling an occasional customer. I also freelanced as a computer/network support person for small businesses.
After that, my wife worked for a few years while I stayed home with our son and programmed nearly 24/7, testing ideas that had bloomed while working in the retail store.
That time was priceless in regard in to my technology skills. The low level inner workings that I explored across a variety of tech put me way ahead of everyone I ran into once finally taking a job in tech.
I belong to an elite contracting firm now (software engineering and data engineering) and have my choice of client and tech to work with.
There was more, after my wife worked a few years she went to college while I worked, and then I followed and did the same...studying math, accounting, and electrical engineering, eventually obtaining an associates degree in MIS and joining the corporate world. That was ten years ago, now I desperately want out of the corporate world.
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#53An elder pulled me aside and whispered, “you’ve got one foot in the past and the other is in the future…”
Yeah?
“You’re pissing on the present.”
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#54There's only 17 years between 23 and 40!
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#55I guess the first thing to note is that in a hundred and fifty years, you'll be dead and unless you're one in a million or maybe ten million, nobody alive will know you existed. So it's not a competition, there's no prize ceremony at the end for the guy who did the most stuff, there's no one way you should be living your life. The second thing is, the past is dead and gone. You can't do anything about it. You can lea…
Great comment. The first part really puts everything and everyone into perspective
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#56Wait until you're in your mid to late twenties haha...
I realized I "wasted" time trying to work on startups and mildly borking the beginning of my career - but eventually this results in two camps.
a) people who realize they sort of fucked up, end up working even harder to improve themselves and figure things out.
b) people who give up, become complacent and just coast until they die.
If you're worrying about this it's because you're smarter now, know yourself better and want to improve. Be grateful you were smart enough to end up in this situation. See a psych, manage the anxiety and keep working!
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#57Having lost what I wanted out of my 20s to miserable disability, I envy your position. You’re young and doing what you really want to.
Which is to say, there are different trajectories and it’s enough and good to follow the one that’s yours and to not feel bad about it.
You’re finally on the path you’ve chosen! It sounds fun. You love what you’re doing, so try to savor that. Also, the best ideas happen during the journey, so you’re well on your way.
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#58dwelling on regret is one of the biggest waste of time.
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#59Forget about the things you can’t change. Channel that regret towards not making the same choices for the next 50 years of your life.
Re: Ask HN: How can I come to peace with the years I wasted on pointless things?
#60My take is that you lack a sense of purpose or self-esteem. As others have said, chasing the next title/accomplishment is not going to bring fulfillment. Once you’re an engineer, your attention will move on to the next thing. My advice is to see a therapist, they will help coach you into a better mindset that is accepting of yourself. Be passionate about stuff, be lazy when you want to, always keep showing up to things and don’t get defeated by setbacks in work/romance- there are always more people to meet and more jobs to do.