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Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

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Re: Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

#51
Honestly, it really depends on what you do next.

Probably.

History is full of famous successes who were failures first. Lots of people are giving you that advice. Famously, IBM was Thomas Watson's 38th try, and the durable lightbulb filament Edison's 162nd.

It's absolutely okay to feel despondent after a big hit, especially if it's one that took seven years of your life along the way. I've been there. It's just an awful feeling, and I commiserate as best as I'm able.

At the same time, pragmatically speaking, you really only have three options:

1. Try again

2. Try something else

3. Give up

You're not going to give up. You wouldn't be here asking if you were going to.

So the real question is, do you try again, or do you try something else, like a day job?

I don't know about your situation, and I don't know how much safety you need, but that's sort of the baseline choice, really. By what method do you dust yourself off and stand up and respond?

At 37, you'll be okay. After seven years (a fifth of your life, or a third of your adult life,) it's going to hurt real bad, and be confusing.

But life goes on. You'll be okay.

It'll be a while before you can see it that way, and that's okay too.

Re: Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

#52
Reframe it. Detach emotionally from the result by offering the fruit of your past and future struggle to god. It is not a self-induced failure, but something that life has thrown at you. The universe just had other plans. Nature has built us specifically to cope with that.

Re: Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

#53
post #28

My friend, I worked in a debt protection startup when the housing bubble burst, I was 35, and nearly lost everything including my car and home, over time I've built myself backup, and have found a new purpose, and life in generally back on track. My story isn't unique, tons of people have gambled, lost, and recovered. It isn't easy, but it isn't impossible, just don't get overwhelmed, don't take it personal, and get…

Thanks for sharing.

Re: Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

#54

Contrary to popular belief, the highest chance of success, and largest entrepreneurial successes, come from founders who are 47 years old when they start their companies. You are still 10 years away from the statistical "peak" to start your startup. Yes you will recover. This experience may be exactly what you need to become great. It's your choice to either hide from it and whither away in regret or face it head on…

I didn't know that. Thanks for sharing it. I thought I was pass that peak (35), hehe.

Re: Ask HN: Will I Ever Recover?

#58
Been there, it sucks. Restarted at 37 after 15 years & exit with >100k in personal debt. Was shattered, now 46 and ok. It doesn't happen overnight.

Try going to the gym/exercise/running, doing code tutorials to build up confidence. Tech Podcasts & udemy to fill the silence.

Do not try to do another startup right away, the workforce has changed and you need to acclimate.

Employers care about your skills, show them you got what they need. As a founder you will bring a new type of leadership skill and initiative to any team, this won't always make you popular so it's okay to not alway have the answer or share your opinion. Enjoy checking out at 5pm without worrying about how to make payroll. Rebuild yourself for the next hustle, but give yourself time. You know so much more than you did last time you started.

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