Ask HN: I think I’ve burnt out. What should I do?

About a year ago I resigned from a ~9-year job due to burn out (relationship issues and the death of my father were major contributing factors). I had put the decision off for a long time because I thought I should have a concrete plan first, but ultimately decided I'd never have the energy to plan next steps until I'd taken a long time off to recuperate.

So I just left. The time off hasn't fixed everything, but it has been enormously beneficial to me and I'm much more excited and optimistic about the future. I don't know how the gap will affect my career but at least now I feel like I have the energy to deal with whatever obstacles I encounter.

I was very privileged to be able to do that and I know your situation may differ; I don't have practical advice on dealing with financial concerns. But make sure you're sharing your feelings and getting advice from people around you, and - if you can keep your needs met - don't stay in an unbearable situation just from fear that something as good or better won't come along in the future.

For me it's sort of like forced meditation.

May better days be just around the corner for ya :)

The end of a close relationship, sexual assault, and the passing of your mother are each things that can seriously challenge your self-concept in difficult ways. They also will take a toll on your ability to trust others. Together it sounds like too much too fast to be processed outside of survival mode.

If you can't get into individual therapy, maybe you can find a support group? Even something phone or chat based is better than nothing.

Please know that you are not alone and there are a lot of us here who have struggled and continue to struggle. And go for walks with no phone or music!

Others have said not to quit your job. I agree, you need more stability, not less. Maybe consider changing your focus? Maybe now is the time to try something new at your work, just to change some aspects of your environment. Only good can come from this from my perspective, either you realize you actually like your previous work, or you find something else more fulfilling. (and maybe less stressful?)

Helping others or even talking to others who are facing similar issues. (other comments are suggesting similar) I have found that if I talk with others who actively fight against their problems they are a help to me. If I find people who are struggling that need some help and I can help them, this also helps me.

But, the people I avoid are those that are actively not facing their problems and/or refuse to, avoid these people like the plague for the time being. (maybe down the road you will be stronger and be able to help them or tolerate them...)

You will be fine eventually. This is a temporary state of your life. This may seem trite, but it's true.

One thing I say to myself when I've been in real mental trouble, but not physical is to tell myself everything, right now, is fine. I am ok. I can do this one thing that is in front of me. This is often how I get out of bed to take a shower, this is a low stress activity that makes me feel better than staying in bed feeling terrible.

If I need to, I repeat this process through out the day. I am sorry you are going through this. I hope you get some comfort and strength you are looking for.