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Ask HN: How is your mental health?

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Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#51

Post by lacampbell »

BlameKaneda wrote: post #39

I started a new job in January and although it was all right at first, it wasn't until long when my boss and I started being at odds with one another. As early as three months in he said multiple times that I "should know how to X by know" and later on said that I "hadn't improved since I started." I dreaded going into work everyday, primarily because of him. I started looking for a new job six months in and I'm stil…

Criticisms often bother us when we suspect they might be true I find. Not at all saying that your boss was right, but a lot of people have 'imposter syndrome' so it can become a case of 'agh, my negative internal monologue has been confirmed by an outside source'.

Is your boss just a bit of a dick that a lot of people dislike? If other people like your work it's probably way more about him than you.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#52

Post by big_chungus »

thowthisaway wrote: post #20

I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues. It can be as simple as self-doubt, especially if you're married with kids. I believe men suffer tremendously but never seek the necessary help. I'm lucky enough that my employer allows for free sessions, and I have and will continue to seek treatment since I benefited so much. It's important to note that you HAVE to want it. If you have any bit of do…

> I can't really think of anyone that DOESN'T have any mental issues

Citation very, very badly needed. Can't make the assertion that _everyone_ is screwed up in the head without evidence.

I don't have issues; I get I'm a single datapoint, but your assertion was essentially that everyone's got them. So now you can think of one. I've got a happy life and everything's going well for me and my family. Hiccups here-and-there, like everyone, but good overall.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#53

Post by dijit »

The issue with most kinds of mental health is that the more it affects you the less you're aware of the fact that it's affecting you.

My mental health, without any discernible disorders, reached a very low point last year where I essentially stormed out of a HR meeting because I was "toxic", the toxicity revolved around feelings of frustration due to the fact that I couldn't get anyone to look at a problem I had for six months, which led to me informing the internal providers of that service that I would not be using those services for the next project I was a part of. Which hurt many peoples feelings, I suppose.

As part of the stipend for staying (because, I had quit on the spot) I requested a therapist, I saw him a total of 15 times I believe and he coerced me to exercise a lot more, but ultimately failed to find anything "wrong" with me mentally and stated that my behaviour was quite healthy during that period.. (but he might have been just telling me what I wanted to hear as there's little value in antagonising me during therapy, probably).

Anyway, even with excercise, it's far-far too late, I've basically "turned-off" at work, I don't even try, my entire job has become avoiding doing my job.

I still come home tired, exhausted and utterly emotionally drained, but no work is done, and I don't learn, I don't excite my passion.

No winners.

I recently started interviewing in other companies, I'm hoping this feeling doesn't carry over, and I hope I haven't truly lost my passion.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#57

Post by BlameKaneda »

lacampbell wrote: post #51
BlameKaneda wrote: post #39

I started a new job in January and although it was all right at first, it wasn't until long when my boss and I started being at odds with one another. As early as three months in he said multiple times that I "should know how to X by know" and later on said that I "hadn't improved since I started." I dreaded going into work everyday, primarily because of him. I started looking for a new job six months in and I'm stil…

Criticisms often bother us when we suspect they might be true I find. Not at all saying that your boss was right, but a lot of people have 'imposter syndrome' so it can become a case of 'agh, my negative internal monologue has been confirmed by an outside source'. Is your boss just a bit of a dick that a lot of people dislike? If other people like your work it's probably way more about him than you.

Contrary to what he thinks, I do believe I have improved since I began, albeit not to the level he wanted. The "should know X by now" quote has bothered me, though, where I have asked myself his question in my own head.

For the most part he seems okay around others, but there have been a few times where I think people have picked up on his attitude.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#58

Post by criddell »

LegendaryPatMan wrote: post #29

I really don't to use an app and I don't buy mindfulness in the slightest so for me, I write down important things that are nagging at me at the end of the day or standout negative events etc in a little diary I keep in my bag so it's where even I am and I can keep track of these events Apart from that, I take time to do things that are in no way related work so I go to the Cinema with non-IT people, I joined a cycli…

> I don't buy mindfulness in the slightest

> I write down important things that are nagging at me

Sounds like you buy it at least a bit.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#59

Post by el_dev_hell »

c7357658 wrote: post #34

Honestly, pretty awful. I'm fresh out of college, making 155K in my first job, but I feel miserable because I can't sleep in NYC, the love of my life lives across the country and I feel like we're growing apart, and because I work so much I no longer have any hobbies. I grew up poor and now I'm making more money than I ever imagined I could so I feel like I can't complain too much, but as soon as I hit the 1 year mar…

I had the exact same situation as you out of university. Except my SO moved to the city with me. If we were separated, I would have either:

a) Broke it off

b) Moved

c) Asked her to move in with me

I'm so glad I didn't have to make that choice. It would have crippled my career (leaving the city). I hope it works out for you and the relationship is worth any possible career damage.

Re: Ask HN: How is your mental health?

#60

Post by ageofwant »

apexkid wrote: post #3

Use the following strategies: 1. Meditate daily for 15 minutes. Try vedic indian meditations. 2. Keep track of your mood using some app. 3. If your mood is bad for consistently 3 days, then open pastebin and write down about everything you are feeling and going in your head. Most small problems with mental health can be dealt by bringing in consciousness. Simple example, whenever you are feeling nervous, force you br…

Indeed. Its all about control, or the perception of it. And the simple fact that its just another thing to monitor and manage. Many never realise this and become slaves to their feelings. Feelings are not core truths, they are just data.

Of course its completely reasonable to feel exasperated and angry about things that are out off line with your value system. But knowing this is directly related to the distance between what is real in the world, and where your value is set, gives you enough information to work with.

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