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Ask HN: Are you ok?

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Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#51

Post by oiasdjfoiasd »

klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

Only down to a 3? lol. That makes it sound like your goal is to always have some fire under them.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#52

Post by [deleted] »

chrisdhoover wrote: post #42
klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

I use a 1 to 5 scale and every time the respondent turns it into a 1 to 10. I always get 3.5 or 4.5. I dont get it, what is that 1 to 5 is not fine enough?

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#53

Post by SeeDave »

I am 'OK' in the sense that I like all of my colleagues and really do enjoy my work as a technical product manager.

What's not 'OK' is that a snake-oil salesman/professional bullshitter who calls himself an 'Agile Consultant' has embedded himself in the organization. He's an all-talk arrogant blowhard with a savior complex centered around rescuing us from 'Waterfall'.

What's not 'OK' in my personal life: I've been having a difficult time attracting and maintaining the interest of intellectually/romantically compatible women in the brutally competitive SF Bay Area dating scene for late 20s/early 30s geeky dudes. That's my fault though... I really need to start working out, eating healthier, whiten teeth, dress better, get a life outside of work, buy a car, and learn how to _have fun_ again.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#54

Post by burntoutfire »

open-paren wrote: post #41

I'm kinda struggling right now. I'm a few months from graduating with a BS in CS, and I'm scared. Not scared about getting a job (I've had a few internships and have a solid handshake return offer from more than one of them) or “the next step” (kids? house?) independently, just the combination of all those things. How do I find a job that's is within a same commute distance, but also affordable? How do I find a job t…

> How on Earth do people afford a house (I mean, $300,000 is more than 3× my expected salary, and where I am, that barely gets you a townhome)?

Most young people in the world can't afford a house. They rent apartments or stay with parents until their jobs pay more and they accumulate savings in the meantime - or, alternatively, they shacked themselves with decades of debt and get a mortgage (not everyone is mentally built for that though). Also, many people never decide to buy a house, and just get a (cheaper) flat instead.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#55

Post by theanine »

Thanks for asking. Not really, and it's 100% work-related. I dread coming in to work and it's given me awful anxiety that's turned into occasional passive suicidal ideation. Once I leave work, I feel like a totally different person and all the symptoms disappear.

My boss calls me stupid, incompetent, r*tarded, and "like you have part of your brain missing". He grills me on literally everything I do, like why I'm getting up from my desk or why I'm eating what I brought for lunch. He interrupts everything I say and puts me down in front of other people. He took away benefits he knew I enjoyed, like being able to take college courses for free in unrelated areas like music and ceramics, and he banned me alone from making conversation with my work friends, and moved my desk away from them to his office so he can watch everything I do. I'm underpaid ($40k/year) and therapy sessions are $150 each, so I don't have much saved up to just quit and search for new jobs full-time. He threatens to fire me almost every day. I'm not sure how I'll ever get out, this started about a year ago and I've been applying every day since but haven't found anything. It's hard for me to believe that another job won't be the same thing.

Sorry if that's oversharing, but working here is draining my soul.

edit: thanks for all the support everyone, it means a lot :)

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#56

Post by UseStrict »

No, I'm really not okay. My current job is insanely unfulfilling, but I need to keep up appearances so I don't go bankrupt. I am saddled with a lot of debt, some of it stupid decisions, some of it valid, all of it soul crushing.

I moved to a new city for my current job with a referral from a friend. But I have struggled to make meaningful relationships here in the last year. This is also impacting my career as while there are a lot of jobs here, I have none of the networking.

Trying to work on a SaaS product I intend to launch, but I keep getting paralyzed by the scale of it all. I end up spending most of my time alone in my apartment.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#57

Post by jezclaremurugan »

algaeontoast wrote: post #7
cvaidya1986 wrote: post #5

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Can you try teaching at your local university meanwhile?

I have zero interest in teaching or entering academia. I can get interviews, just struggling to find a way that I can improve fast enough / perform at a necessary level to pass interviews it seems. Idk, maybe I’m just not trying hard enough.

Check hackerrank.com - practicing there should help.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#58

Post by bradenb »

JaumeGreen wrote: post #40
klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

What if the stress is mostly from outside the job? Some of it could be "solvable" (better pay, better hours, ...), but some of it may not (family problems, health issues, ...). Is it taken into account or addressed?

If it is I imagine you do what you can to help offset it at work, but ultimately if there's nothing you can do officially I guess you just have to offer your support in whatever way they will accept.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#59

Post by AndrewDucker »

chrisdhoover wrote: post #42
klenwell wrote: post #11

As a team lead, one question I always ask in my 1-on-1's: On a scale of 1-5 (low good, high bad), what's your stress level since we last met? If my teammate says 4 or 5, I ask what we can do to bring it down to a 3. We also address this as part of the simple assessment we do in each sprint retrospective. My company struggles to define meaningful KPIs and OKRs. This is the one that's most important to me.

I use a 1 to 5 scale and every time the respondent turns it into a 1 to 10. I always get 3.5 or 4.5. I dont get it, what is that 1 to 5 is not fine enough?

Assuming that 3 is "meh" and 5 is "CATATONIC WITH AWFULNESS", that only really leaves 4 for what feels like quite a large continuum, if I feel at all below par. Having 4 options to fill the "below average" part of the scale, rather than 2 feels necessary to me.

Re: Ask HN: Are you ok?

#60

Post by [deleted] »

algaeontoast wrote: post #3

Not really, I’ve been looking for work for about three months after my team at a FANG was let go due to a legal fuck up by my boss. I’ve been leetcoding but have only passed 3/7 tech screens only to be ghosted for the on-site after a pass or passed up after the on-site. Starting to question if I was ever creative or really good at this profession - but don’t think I’m skilled enough or have the energy to do my own st…

[deleted]
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