Ask HN: Have you ever had an existential crisis?

You are talking about objective versus subjective meaning I think. Objectively life is meaningless according to the Nihilism school of thought but subjectively life can have plenty of meaning it all depends on how you "frame" your experience of life.

Meaning to me for example is conquering my existential problems (anxiety, depression), pushing past boundaries and percieved limits in life, seeking love and obtaining goals. These examples provide substantial meaning for me, where I'm currently at in this point of time. So meaning to some degree are what you value, subjectively speaking.

Yes, definitely. And I'd assume that questioning "the meaning of it all" is something most people will do at some point. In particular, those who tend to think critically and independently about other questions, which I'm also assuming is a common trait of HN readers.

To me, the process was the following:

1. Realizing that society has created many layers of "fabricated" meaning (thinking of things like a successful career, owning a big house, an expensive car, being the best player in the soccer team, etc). I think those will quickly feel superfluous and the fact they are fabricated becomes apparent. They are in fact meaningless.

2. Understand that behind all that fantasy, we're still rather simple (social) animals. And coming to terms with that, helped me find meaning in basic things I'm hard-wired to enjoy: like nurturing the relationships with the ones I love, challenging myself in some sort of dimension (eg. sports, learning), being a positive influence for the younger generation, etc.

All in all, I think that questions makes you cut-through the bullshit society has fabricated over the years and go back to the core of what exactly makes you feel well. What makes you feel well, even if it's hard, is what you're supposed to do IMO.

I'm actually coming from the Buddhist/meditation school of thought. It's neither about subjective nor objective meaning, it's about the emptiness of this word "meaning". For a lack of better language available - "meaning" does not mean anything. It's like pondering over the liar's paradox without defining truth (see Tarski's undefinability theorem for a strict mathematical example).

Just ask yourself - what does it mean that the "meaning" of X is Y? In the "meaning" sense that this thread is about.

The very fact that anything is happening, that there's something rather than nothing can be all absorbing. The "meaning" as people usually put it is typically a case of mis-wanting, trying to fit the reality to the language of thought, rather than the other way around, and a lack of focus on the present. In particular the religious concepts of heaven and hell are the most prominent members of this category (throughout the written history, and perhaps much earlier).

What I find strange is an existential consideration seems to be largely a negative. Couldnt we call it 'existential realisation' and treat it as a positive

Lack of meaning can be a good thing. Realising we're not here to do anyhting great. I'm not going to make anything of significance change. If I dissappear it wont really mater.... ok, that good, now I can get along with my life and not worry about societatal / parental / career etc pressures and follow my path beacuse in the same way I dont matter, your view of me doesnt matter. I am just here and will be treated based on what I put into the world and there is no great plan so get what you can from the journey.

I share some of your experience, (though I'm not transgender and grew up in a loving, supporting family). I recall upsetting my parents when I was about 7, by asking "Why are we alive? Why don't we just die?" I didn't mean it to be depressing, it was just that I didn't "get it", why people do all the things they do, and end up dying anyway. I still feel that way. I've concluded long ago that I'm not particularly depressed, and that the existential crises is not mine but is shared by everyone, it's just that a lot of people don't realize it, or recognize it somehow as such a fundamental property of being alive that they never pay attention to it. I don't hate being here, I like it in general, I have the opportunity to experience things, but that does not mean that there is any intrinsic meaning to life, and that does set some baseline of sadness.