This will be a controversial one, but have you tried alcohol? The next time there’s a staff night out, go to it, drink, lose your inhibitions and talk to people.
Now you have two problems.
Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
51–60 of 182 posts
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#52It's easy. - Lie - Cheat - Take credit for other people's work. - Deflect blame to other people. - Make friends with other jerks in the company and collaborate with them to distort facts in your favor at the expense of value creators within the company. - Once you climb high enough in the hierarchy, start using your 'friends' as scapegoats for everything that goes wrong; you gotta keep feeding the beast... Even when…
To able to utilize these skill without getting into trouble yourself is hard. I myself have no issue of using these skill, but its not easy. There are lack of courses or books to teach you this.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#53Human Nature -- Robert Greene
--all you need and you will have to accept it not just Grok it intellectually.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#54I absolutely sympathise and struggled with this myself to some extent. One thing that has worked for me is one-by-one adopting particular tactics that I see socially successful people using. And I mean I consciously note and incorporate them individually into my interactions. Eventually they get almost automatic. That may sound crazy and that it would look contrived. But I have never been called on it, no one has eve…
But I've found "no" sets business people off like startled chickens.
Maybe because they have a more holistic view of the purpose that you’re all there for.
As a developer, your job isn’t to say yes or no. It’s to understand the problem and solve it. If no solution is available within the constraints laid out, your job is not to deliver the bad news like a robot. It’s to understand the priority of the constraints and figure out which one(s) to break so you can solve the problem.
Not picking on you, but many developers lose sight of the purpose of what they do. No business wants or needs any code or developers to write and maintain it. It’s a means to an end, and a flat “no” betrays an inversion of priorities in the developer’s mind.
I write all this as a self-employee developer by the way. It’s one reason I make a lot more than my peers who could code circles around me.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#55Lift some weights. It might seem unrelated, but it's very crucial to improving your ability to deal with anxiety of all kinds. If you don't have experience around weight training equipment, then pay for small group training. Not only will you get a low-stakes opportunity to practice socializing, but the weight training will improve your testosterone production and your ability to regulate anxiety. I should've done sm…
How does lifting weights teach OP about office politics? Seems tangentially related at best...
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#56This show is pretty good, but take it all with a grain of salt and recognize that the experience of the two hosts is not representative of all engineering jobs. Still lots of good advice though:
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#57The most basic and familiar form of office politics is a good bug report: it lays out exactly what the problem is, why it’s important, and proves that you’re a competent, motivated partner in figuring it out, not just “holding it wrong.” This is bread and butter of the political task of getting someone else’s resources allocated to help you.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#58Lots of good advice below but given your background you might want to consider approaching it like a project. Set reasonable objectives and goals, track progress, hold yourself accountable, and build on previous skills that you have acquired.
Some other thoughts: - It's super important that you know that the concept of introvert/extrovert is pseudo science, same for "left-brained" / "right-brained"(Ex. https://www.inc.com/joshua-spodek/there-are-no-such-things-a....
- Don't be ashamed of building yourself scripts, or practicing small talk techniques by yourself. It feels awkward at first but really helps to have something to fall back to when you need a plan
- Don't assume that social skills are natural, or innate. Groups like toastmasters exist because things like public speaking are difficult to master.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#59This will be a controversial one, but have you tried alcohol? The next time there’s a staff night out, go to it, drink, lose your inhibitions and talk to people.
Honestly, a good tip-- that is, if you're not prone to drinking alone, or to addiction.
It's a good tip because the OP needs just ONE interaction where he shows his colleagues that he is capable of the kinds of pleasant social interactions that they are.
This would break the ice for OP as well, knowing that his robotic reputation has been proved not totally correct, and will perhaps allow him to relax somewhat and take more risks socially.
Re: Ask HN: Resources for introverted devs to learn workplace politics?
#60Definitely read How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. However, just reading a book on this subject is not enough. You will actually have to apply the principles in your everyday life. Dealing with people is kind of like an art. And just like any art (like painting) you can only get better with deliberate practice. Doing this might feel a little uncomfortable at first, but it's how we grow as peopl…
IMO, the book is over-hyped and not that helpful.
It's incredibly easy to spot people who utilize concepts in that book and are not being genuine in their interaction. 'Masks' are a great way to prevent authentic connection.
I've found better utility in a combination of books about positive psychology, emotions in relationships, and analytical psychology.