Ask HN: As an adult introvertish nerd what makes you happy?

1. I don't feel like I have enough energy to do things after work, and I find myself unable to socialize for long periods of time.

2. My friends, or at least friends I know in the real world, are running into number 1, and often have different work schedules anyways.

Modern society feels isolating. When I try to be social, I find many people are disinterested. I myself hardly have any energy to be social even though I feel like it would be good for me. Perhaps general health has something to do with this too, but it sure isn't convenient.

What works for me is focusing on what is meaningful and paying less attention to being happy. Happiness is a fleeting emotion - or if you want to define happiness as a state of being rather than an emotion, it's still fleeting. It can even be an inappropriate response to much of life. Would it be appropriate to be sad for weeks or months if you lost a loved one such as a close family member or pet? Sure. Rather than trying to avoid the sadness and replace it with happiness, you can just try to find a way to make the experience meaningful to you. Changing the question about what I'm seeking in life has been really useful. What I'm seeking is not happiness. Emotions give us such a rich and authentic experience of life. Why seek out just one? What we should be seeking out are healthy ways of living through whatever emotion or state of being is appropriate to the situation.

As far as happiness is concerned, I'd read the paper causes and correlates of happiness. Make sure you address the most significant areas. If you already do, you might just have a low generic setpoint. Unfortunately genetics have a lot to do with intrinsic happiness. Not much you can do the beyond medication.

And far as social interaction goes, your best bet is to find a pre-existing social group with a shared interest. Building a community is hard but thankfully plenty of other people have already put in the hard work.