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Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
51–60 of 88 posts
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#52Be very, very, very, very careful what you say to medical professionals. You may find yourself in a worse situation.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#53Please put an e-mail in your profile. If you don't want to be identified use something like hushmail. I'm certain there are many people here that can relate to your problems, but most of them might not want to speak up in a public forum about these issues and may prefer to contact you privately. There was a somewhat similar post a few months back ( http://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=937430 ) where the submitter was…
HN could probably benefit by a "post anonymously" feature similar to Slashdot's. This is a productive discussion on a very real issue, and some name-free posting could bring out even more personal perspectives. Sure, you can always make a second account, but it's a bit of a kludge.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#54Good question, and useful timing. Tonight's a worse night than usual for me.
As a survivor, I'm pretty much living with these things all the time. I find it hard to believe that I'm able to be safe. I cope ironically through how my suicidal thoughts manifest. For me, they are normally about self-destruction and obliteration, not death, and that's pretty hard to do yourself.
Suicidal thoughts are not the whole story, though. It's easy to focus on the big dramatics, and ignore the greater effects. I persistantly have trouble sleeping, and depression and self-loathing have consistantly been a barrier for me. If it were not for my problems, I would have certainly got much more than a pass degree. I'm not coding as much as I would like, as I spend a lot of my free time managing my headspace rather than my passions.
Something that helps when in better moods is to remember, though, that I have got a degree. And I worked part time during university, too. I had to act as carer to my ex during that. I ran some pretty amazing student societies, and have done some big things. And now I'm a manager in a huge IT company, working on some impressive things. I'm learning to drive pretty fast. And I'm a trans woman.
You see, it's not as simple as saying "go see a shrink". I can't go to the NHS with my problems, as if I were to tell them that I see things (hence the throwaway account name), medical assistance for trans matters would be threatened. Drugs too are not great, for two reasons - they don't work, and they don't mix well with reality issues.
I hope to be able to afford private counselling soon, as this isn't that much fun. But I am functional at the moment, and I have amazing friends and family.
The biggest problem? That these issues just are not talked about. The media says that it's only "crazy people" who see things, people who stab others and get locked up, or people who can't work and function in the real world at all. Yet I'm sure there are many more just like me, who like me sit at work, being productive, all the whilst being convinced that they are being physically attacked. I'm having to use a throwaway, as I'm only 26, and have one hell of a distinctive name. We can't talk about this sort of stuff, and this stigma makes it worse.
So sometimes, to help with the thoughts, I write about them and share my experiences with others.
Other things I have found to help: * Stop drinking. Drinking makes me extremely depressive normally.
* Call amazing friends. I've got friends that are happy spending hours on the phone just making silly noises at me. It's extremely reassuring, and they have ordered (this is useful!) me to call them anytime I want or need. When I don't touch base with close friends and family regularly, my headspace tends to get even darker.
* Safe company. The useful thing about being in a number of minority groups is the easy access to a number of safe spaces and people. Even if I don't talk about these things with them, getting into an LGBT space, or a furmeet lets me feel amongst people who understand. And perhaps, now hackernews might be added ;)
* Comfort food. Chocolate, ice cream and cake, need I say more? :P
* Exercise. Damn I need to get out more, I love running and it feels amazing. And the fact that I can walk five miles in 70 minutes is something I should be more proud of!
* Eat right. Skipping meals really doesn't help at all, and I get grouchy without a balanced diet.
* Do something stimulating but not stressful. Having a new exciting thing to work on keeps me pleased for days - and better still, my bosses have noticed this!
(email: demonwatch(at)hushmail.com)
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#55Open up your favorite browser (if possible not IE coz I hate IE). go to google.com and search for "Suicide".
Call the very first 800 number you see.
Simple!!!
Take it easy man!!!
Think about the life people are spending in Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq. I am sure you would be living a way better life.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#56Your problem is no-doubt multi-faceted, and IMO there's no universal answer that works for everybody, and you need to remember to take every answer you get here with a grain of salt. Take what applies to you, and leave the rest.
I would recommend immediately reaching out in person to friends or family that you trust. If you have nobody that you trust with this, reach out to a suicide hotline. There's a national one at 800-273-8255. If you forget the number just google "national suicide hotline" and it should be a google-supplied first search result.
After reaching out for help, I think you should focus on treating the underlying depression that is leading to the suicidal thoughts. Here are a few things you might try:
1. Get your vitamin d level checked. This might sound like a funny thing to do, but many studies have shown links between vitamin d insufficiency/deficiency and depression. The specific test you want is the "25-hydroxy vitamin-d test." Some 60% of Americans have inadequate levels, and that number goes up the darker your skin gets. For hackers and other knowledge-workers, my guess is that the number is much higher, because we are inside all day. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/dr-mark-hyman/vitamin-d-why-yo...
2. Exercise. Even if it's just walking around the block with your girlfriend, or brother, or dog, or mom, or alone. If there's a sport you used to play but don't anymore, pick it up. Climb rocks, or fence, or box, or ski. Dance, or fly kites, or garden, or whatever. But whatever you do, get physically active. Your body needs that, especially when you are feeling down. You would be surprised how much better you feel after some good physical activity.
3. Take things off your plate. You are not a machine. Shoot, even machines need rest. Don't take too much on your plate. Remember that even (especially) the most successful people take breaks and prioritize.
4. Remember that you aren't alone and you aren't crazy. Life throws us crap like this to make us stronger, and so we can relate to others' suffering. Remember that there is purpose in all your suffering.
5. Love your life, poor as it is. The journey is 9/10 of the fun. Laugh at it when it sucks, and realize that it's not as bad as it seems. Also don't acquire the "if only" disease. "if only i had this, then I'd be happy...." Acheiving milestones is awesome, and feels great, but then you go back to the journey -- the 9/10. Enjoy it all, and live in the now.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#57I too sometimes have bouts of suicidal ideation. When I was younger, they were much worse/more frequent than they are now. In general, the realization that death is, at least currently, inevitable has helped me deal with them.
If your suicidal thoughts are rooted in personal suffering, the realization that you have control over how you perceive events can be helpful. Instead of having to walk in a blizzard, you're getting to feel stuff you normally don't.
I'm not a spiritual person by any means, but I think that realizing that desire and suffering are intertwined is a good thing to realize.
If your suicidal ideation is caused by a more existential type of angst, I can recommend "The Myth of Sisyphus" by Camus. It helped me come to terms with the absurdity of existence more than just about anything else, but what worked for me may not work for you.
Other than advice already stated in this thread, that's about all I can offer without knowing you or your situation.
One more thing: your life will change. It may get "better", it may get "worse", but it will not stagnate. You are ever-changing, and will be until you end, and at the moment it is a certainty that you will end. I, and most others here I'm sure, don't recommend rushing it along -- even if your experience of consciousness is ridiculously hard to bear right now, there's no way to know if it will always be that way without living, and as far as I can tell it is most often not always that way.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#58Yeah, I came pretty close (I think) to deciding to kill myself back in 1996. After that I went a long time with few - or no - suicidal thoughts, but every once in a while over the past couple of years I found a few of those thoughts creeping in again. I doubt I'll ever actually go through with it, but who can predict these things. Probably the biggest thing(s) I've learned that help: 1. Fish-oil is considered to have…
In 2008 I attempted suicide. I have dealt with suicidal ideation off & on since I was around 7 years old. My brother committed suicide, and mental illness (including depression) runs in my family. I'm not crazy though, I swear :-) I've read a number of people say things like, "It's completely normal. You just have to deal with it like everyone else." That's wrong, and really, really dangerous advice. Suicidal ideatio…
I've read a number of people say things like, "It's
completely normal. You just have to deal with it like
everyone else." That's wrong, and really, really
dangerous advice. Suicidal ideation is very different
from feeling 'blue' every now and then. Suicidal ideation
is an indication of something more serious, and if left
unchecked can get much worse (did you read my opening
line?). Not everyone can get out of depression on their
own or with 'natural remedies'. Depression is an illness
just like diabetes or hypertension. Sometimes medication
is necessary to get better.
But yes, I would certainly advocate that anyone who has serious questions about their mental state see a professional therapist.
I'm glad to hear that you have an appointment with a
doctor. That's an important step to take, even if you
don't start medication or therapy.
As a side note, if you're interested in trying any
natural remedies for depression, there are basically
three options: 1) SAM-e, 2) 5-HTP, 3) St. John's Wort. I
have listed them in the order of their generally accepted
effectiveness for treating depression and, how would you
say, time before affect? St. John's Wort typically takes
2-3 weeks (IIRC) before you start to feel it's effects.
SAM-e is supposed to work with in a few days.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#59Earlier quoted context omitted.
But antidepressants do work for some people, even if we don't understand the precise mechanism. I agree that the 'chemical imbalance' theory is probably wrong and certainly oversimplified but for some individuals life is significantly better with antidepressants than without. Drugs can help.
Of course they can help. But for most people they make the condition worse. And since there is no way for any individual to know in advance whether the drugs will be safe or effective for them in the long term, I don't think it makes much sense to recommend them except for short term use in an emergency or as an option of last resort. If you've been tested for every nutritional imbalance, and you're getting daily exe…
There was a pretty astonishing if deadpan interview on Fresh Air recently with a psychiatrist who, although more orthodox than Whitaker, has published a book questioning the overreliance of psychiatry on drugs. (http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=1281075...)
Among other things I didn't know, he recounted how many of the leading articles on antidepressant efficacy were in fact written by advertising companies (yes, you read that right). The pharmaceutical companies would then pay famous psychiatrists to use their names as the authors of the already-written piece. These studies were published in all the leading journals (New England, etc.). The interviewer asked this guy what consequences there had been for the psychiatrists who had been bought off in this way. He said there had been none.
He also said (no surprises here) that he and other psychiatrists routinely tell their patients the chemical imbalance theory despite knowing that there is no evidence for it, on the grounds that people want a little "knowledge" about how the drugs they're being prescribed.
Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with suicidal thoughts ?
#60Go see a therapist. And I don't mean it in an off-handed fashion. I mean it in a professional who helps people deals with this and other problems. If there's a chemical imbalance, drugs can help. A doctor can prescribe them if they're needed.
"If there's a chemical imbalance, drugs can help." Medical statistics seem to show otherwise. For people who undergo a first bout of depression, most people who don't medicate get better in 6-18 months and then never relapse. Whereas those who medicate have a much higher chance of relapsing multiple times later in life. source: Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker.
pls cut the crap. Do not post opinions as facts.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Major_depressive_disorder#Antid...