Ask HN: Failed interview, feeling unemployable and depressed – what do I do?

Go see your doctor. If you have to, have a friend take you. Personally, I called my pastor and he threatened to come pick me up and drive me down there personally (he meant it in a good way). Do whatever it takes to get in there.

Get the meds. Take them, if prescribed. They won't fix the problem, but they can help you thru the worst of it until things become a bit easier to deal with. I wound up weaning myself off of them (I don't recommend that, btw). For some people, they are long-term, but personally, I found it to be a bit too long-term.

The biggest thing, and the hardest, is to be honest with your friends about it. I've told friends I have problems with depression. Turns out, another friend of mine does, too, and we try to help keep the other on an even-er keel. I told my boss and my relatives. They know that if they don't hear from me in a while, to come over and kick in the door or do what's necessary to drag me out into the light.

Know this: you're going to have bad days and worse days and some good days. Pay attention and you'll be able to recognize them for what they are and when you need help.

But get help. I've had to deal with everything from being unable to leave the house or turn on a light to irrational exuberance, on top of a couple of other medical issues. I'm nowhere near cured, but I'm not down in a hole anymore.

It's survivable and your life doesn't have to suck.

I worked for a "big 4" (Google) for many years, and now I lead the engineering team at a startup. I've interviewed many hundreds of people. And I've "been there" in anxiety about interviewing for something new.

Let me make you a deal: call me up and I'll interview you, no "puzzles". Except instead of this being about a job with me, I'll give you feedback from the interview and any advice I can. You can reach me at mikey@ (domain in my profile).

(Depression signs are another matter; others have given some good advice there.)

I just went through my first interview after 2 and half months of being unemployed. I did have some anxiety initially, but I learnt to work through it. My telephone interview with a hot startup didn't go as planned and I was turned down. It felt like I wouldn't get a job anymore.

It's important to look back to see where you started and what you've achieved. Not doing good at an interview doesn't mean you are worthless! It just means that that isn't the right place for you. But thankfully, there are plenty of opportunities and we just have to keep looking.

Its also important to remember to be yourself. EVERYONE feels like they are an imposter at some point or the other. Just accept the fact that there will be smarter people, and that is okay. Take it easy on yourself, and give yourself credit for all that you've done.

And I wouldn't worry about interview puzzles too much. I politely decline an interview if I don't agree with the process. There is a place for everyone, and if you don't feel comfortable during an interview, chances are you won't fit in the company. And that is okay. Just move on to another place where you feel you can fit in.

And please, NEVER say to yourself that you're worthless! Its very inviting to go down the dark path. Trust me, I've been there. But it serves absolutely no purpose and drains away your life. If you think its serious, talking to people you trust might help.

And remember, you aren't alone. There are lots of people who have faced a similar situation and have worked through it. All the best!

One thing to remember is the interview is two ways. It's not a judgement or indictment of you now or in the future capability.

She did what a partner should. OPs partner is a leech if she won't let him quit his job even though he has savings.