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Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

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Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#51

Post by alansmitheebk »

Is it sexual harassment B/C he asked her out or B/C he used the term "MILF" or B/C she wasn't interested? Did the whatsapp portion of the conversation occur at work or outside of work? Does your company have a policy that forbids coworkers to date?

My former boss dated an employee who worked in a different department. People at work knew and it was not considered a problem. No one got fired or sued. I guess I'm trying to understand the difference here. It seems to me the major difference is that in this case the woman wasn't interested. So is the takeaway here that if you ask out a woman you work with she will either say yes if she is interested or you will potentially be fired if she is not?

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#52

Post by totony »

Kristine1975 wrote: post #15
boosting7669 wrote: post #10

This is why I'll never be in any significant management position. I have no interest in babysitting grown up children. My reaction would be to just fire both.

>My reaction would be to just fire both. What did the existing employee do to deserve such treatment?

I'd guess it's because she didn't handle it on her own, and instead relied on the manager.

It's not your job to handle shit like that. If the person continues and it makes the work environment hostile than it might be, but not a one-time interaction like OP describes

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#53

Post by paulsutter »

patio11 wrote: post #3

Lawyer lawyer lawyer LAWYER lawyer LAWYER . I think the consensus in the grown-up business world is "fire immediately for cause." I would bet substantial money that when you lawyer lawyer lawyer they will advise you to do that and document the heck out of it. The calculus is really, really simple: if you don't, then you will with probability approaching one get this incident or a similar incident cited during a threa…

While there's no question he needs to leave, the way you handle this is an opportunity. If you act skillfully, employees in general will be more willing to share problems with you in the future. You can reach the end result without making the wronged employee feel even one bit guilty.

Have the lawyer spend time walking you through the various ways this can play out, rather than just give you a cookie-cutter procedure.

With this knowledge you will feel confident about the way you communicate his departure to him, to the employee who has been wronged, and to the company in general. The human subtleties here matter as much as the legalities. Rely on the lawyer for the latter, and yourself for the former.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#54

Post by x5n1 »

scott_s wrote: post #48
x5n1 wrote: post #24

I really don't understand the environment around sex and relationships in the work place. It's messed up. Someone should be able to express interest and the other person should be able to refuse it. Simple as that. But instead there is a whole drawn out ritual around these things. It's not really grown up thing that adults do, instead any male is looked at as an aggressive offender looking to rape someone, unless the…

She did refuse a romantic involvement by stating up front that she was okay spending time outside of work as friends . That interaction is okay. But he kept going. It's the "kept going" that is sexual harassment.

Yeah I don't know how the whole thing progressed. But it's a fine line and I guess he crossed it.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#55

Post by pc86 »

boosting7669 wrote: post #32
Kristine1975 wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>My reaction would be to just fire both. What did the existing employee do to deserve such treatment?

Maybe the OP hasn't shared all information but if asking someone out and/or complimenting someone's appearance (albeit crudely) is now the equivalent of sexual harassment then be prepared for a rapid decline in population since no one will want to be the first one to make a move.

Yes, crudely remarking on a coworker's appearance then asking to "tell them a secret" (which is obviously going to be sexual in nature) is sexual harassment.

If you can't see why, I think quite a few people are very happy you don't have plans for management.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#57

Post by pc86 »

x5n1 wrote: post #54
scott_s wrote: post #48

Earlier quoted context omitted.

She did refuse a romantic involvement by stating up front that she was okay spending time outside of work as friends . That interaction is okay. But he kept going. It's the "kept going" that is sexual harassment.

Yeah I don't know how the whole thing progressed. But it's a fine line and I guess he crossed it.

It says in the post how it progressed. He made a move, she clearly said she only had interest in a platonic, friendly/coworker relationship, he persisted and dialed up the crudeness to boot.

Re: Ask HN: How do I deal with the first sexual harassment complaint at my startup?

#58

Post by tomchristie »

* Immediate dismissal - the language isn't in any kind of gray zone - completely inappropriate. This person will damage your company if you keep them on. * Make sure they're not able to make a scene. No access to email or the premises at the point of dismissal. You don't want them causing further damage to the team. * Make it clear the issue is wholly between you and them, this is your action, decision and responsibility.
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