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Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

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Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#491

Post by phkahler »

comte7092 wrote: post #479

>get out of just hating yourself when you fail This part is a choice. Choose to stop beating yourself up over it. You’re not perfect and neither is anyone else. Ultimately quitting is a continuous series of small decisions. You can make a decision at this instant, but you don’t control your future self, and you need to be ok with that. Come to the table with the understanding of the long term goal. If you slip up, th…

>> This part is a choice. Choose to stop beating yourself up over it.

When I look at my own faults or flaws, I don't think "that is who I am" but instead "this is where I am today and I can make changes to that". It may take time, and I will fail sometimes, but that's expected and part of being human. OP would benefit from changes in their self-talk like this. It really does influence how we feel about things over time.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#492

Post by [deleted] »

kritiko wrote: post #453
marginalia_nu wrote: post #433

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations. Huh. I've had a lot of success with therapy in this regard. Wouldn't recommend something I haven't tried.

I've had a couple bad therapists and a good therapist. The good therapist discouraged me from worrying too much about using a drink at the end of the day as a tool to unwind (I was considering quitting alcohol to try to help my anxiety). Therapy can be great, but it's not a commodity. Success is highly correlated to a strong relationship between patient and therapist, and finding that is very challenging for me and o…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#493

Post by jiggywiggy »

marginalia_nu wrote: post #433
jiggywiggy wrote: post #424

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's both and, instead either or. We don't all want to reduce stressors, but find ways to deal with it better. Sometimes you push hard, and a good glass wine is exactly what you need. Sometimes you push hard, and you had enough wine the week before. Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations. I recommend everyone working out, but when you had a stressful day or…

> Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations. Huh. I've had a lot of success with therapy in this regard. Wouldn't recommend something I haven't tried.

Yeah your advice is for people to be more careful. That's one way that works a bit. And normally is what you come to with therapists. Then there is also a way to be more wild, not take things to serious and push further. That's a narrative that's very powerful but missing very much lately.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#494

Post by zafka »

scrapcode wrote: post #378

I was drinking heavily and knew that it would be the quickest and most effective hack towards being a better father and husband. I first stepped into an AA meeting and as the opportunity to speak was going around the room I started seeing many similarities between the people sharing their stories and myself. I thought to myself 'If I were perhaps an alcoholic, what could I share about it and how it may hurt me and th…

Congratulations! One thing I have heard, that I am afraid to test is that if after a period of time of not drinking, an alcoholic starts again, quite quickly they revert to drinking as much or more than they did previously. I played around quitting and starting smoking several times, so I know I have a very addictive personality. It is not worth the risk for me to drink.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#495

Post by xwcve »

stef25 wrote: post #460
marginalia_nu wrote: post #431

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? Rumination is often very treatable.

I am seeing one, he advised me to take more time off work than I'm able to but taking the max I could did help somewhat. Any tips?

For myself personally I found mindfulness meditation helping with anxiety. It is however like any excercise: it does not show effects without regular practice over months. And it is not the sitting session itself that helps as much as developing a skill, and habit, of seeing your mind clearly doing what it does. That is applied outside the meditation coushion.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#496

Post by srcreigh »

throthrothro wrote: post #212
j_crick wrote: post #197

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How often did you drink a liter of vodka a night?

They mean every night, as in each night. About 20 standard drinks in a bottle of vodka, so takes 18-20 hours to process all the alcohol before starting again. It's just about doable with a day job if you start as soon as you get home from work and don't have to drive in the morning. I know because that was me once. This is why people with serious drinking problems find the "I drink a beer every night I must be an alc…

How do you figure 20 drinks takes only 20 hours to process?

I use a BAC calculator test, for a 70kg person 20 shots takes more than 40 hours to reach 0 BAC.

(My drivers license requires 0 BAC so I’m aware of one beer taking about 2.5 hours to process fully.)

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#497

Post by khazhoux »

soco wrote: post #370
khazhoux wrote: post #180

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> One beer? Actually, yes. If you are someone who only drinks one beer, then your low tolerance means even that single drink will leave you leaving crummy afterwards. Not a full-on "oh dear god please don't mention eggs around me" crummy, but just groggy, headache-y, and so on. This is me. I only ever drank maybe a glass of wine or one beer every couple of months, and finally realized it was easier just dropping down…

Folks, you really cannot even imagine one enjoying THE BEER, right? Its refreshing bitterness and the aroma hops in it and the beautiful refracting light in the pint? If people drink to get trashed and forget about life issues, that's one thing. But if other people drink that one beer because they enjoy it, and are not getting even a tinge from it (as probably nobody with a healthy liver should), then in which catego…

> That's why I don't understand your point "it was easier dropping down to effectively zero" - easier for what/who?

The "for who" was "for me". The "for what" is what I said: any amount leaves me a bit groggy or sleepy afterwards. My theory is that because I rarely drink, it's a mild system shock each time I do. Maybe that's not it, and my body simply doesn't handle alcohol. At any rate, the tradeoff of that great wine with my steak making me want to take a nap the next two hours, I decided it wasn't worth it.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#499

Post by marginalia_nu »

stef25 wrote: post #460
marginalia_nu wrote: post #431

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? Rumination is often very treatable.

I am seeing one, he advised me to take more time off work than I'm able to but taking the max I could did help somewhat. Any tips?

Hard to give general advice, but I've personally had great success breaking looping thought patterns with labeling.

https://www.mindmate.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2018/11/label...

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