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I guess what I'm getting at is: don't beat yourself up if you go through the checklist and still feel bad. That's a sign that there are other external or internal factors that exercise won't address, and that therapy could help with.
No offense to the reply, but “need a therapist” is a very American response and a bit of a cop out. OP, I’ve seen many people turn around after aged 40, including a friend who got married for the first time at aged 58. She’s energetic and attractive and incidentally also turned her life around after 40. My two pennies would suggest you throw the past expectations out the window, determine where your passions lie, and…
I agree 100%. It can help some people, but it's not a panacea. I have known people that went to therapists for years and didn't really make any progress. And some people arguably get worse. For example, what's the benefit of a therapist that gives you the illusion of making progress and you stay in a poor relationship longer than you otherwise would. That actually happened to someone I know. They stayed in a relation…
When you wrote “Every night I promise myself to do/be better tomorrow and somehow get myself to sleep”, I almost cried. Same here bud. I keep looking to therapy but somehow I’ve never pulled the trigger… I’ve tried it in the past, got on some meds, only ended up with a case of ED and just feeling numb. Meds have sucked a lot.
Hopefully someone in the replies has some ideas. I like reading comments on HN. Always seems like people have insightful things to say even though I don’t understand half the things being said.
Anyway, I hope you find your solution. Sending you loving vibes as best I can.
I'm not sure I'm "good" at answering these kind of posts, but I'm the same age. I can't speak to everything, but I can to a couple things: > I know the best of my life is behind me Simply not true. This is a mindset thing, I think. I had a great time in my 20s and 30s, no regrets. But I wouldn't go back there for anything. Everything about being older and wiser feels better to me. Sure, I'm slowing down physically, b…
https://medium.com/mindset-matters/who-said-the-only-constan...
Regarding kids, wife and family, you are not late at all. A friend of mine had recently his first kid at 48, he is very happy. If you need a framework for working with psychological issues, I recommend ACT (my wife is a psychology therapist and an expert in that field). It's possible that your current lifestyle or situation is not aligned with your values, so you may need to make some changes to better fulfill what i…
https://www.amazon.com/Get-Your-Mind-Into-Life/dp/1572244259
It's a strong combo of CBT and Buddhist meditation concepts.
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Citation needed. Psychoanalysis is widely practiced and it’s efficacy has been repeatedly scientifically demonstrated.
> Citation needed. Sure, I will cite the Wikipedia page on Psychoanalysis, which itself has many citations which you can follow: 1. "Psychoanalysis is a controversial discipline, and its effectiveness as a treatment has been contested" 2. "Linguist Noam Chomsky has criticized psychoanalysis for lacking a scientific basis." 3. "Evolutionary biologist Stephen Jay Gould considered psychoanalysis influenced by pseudoscie…
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How do u find a therapist? I’m a bit weary to discuss super personal things with someone I don’t know even if they’re a professional. How can I find someone I trust and is actually good? Not like the movies where the clock is up and ok next issue. My work offers a mental health service but I’ve looked at their TOS and no thanks. Sometimes I feel like just suspending the world background process and being still would…
Given OP's user name, I suppose he is in Germany right now. If you want to find a therapist, there's several ways: 1. Talk to your health insurance; they often have scheduling services 2. Talk to the Kassenärztlicher Bereitschaftsdienst of your state, e.g., Bavaria has this on offer: https://www.kvb.de/service/patienten/terminservicestelle/ter... If you don't know where to head to, call 116117. Easiest way. 3. Go to…
Here is a good (long) guide in English: https://www.bptk.de/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/2019-09_bptk_...
I've been gathering a list of people who turned their life around at 35+, might be an inspiration - https://mrsteinberg.com/creatives-who-made-it-when-they-were...
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Unfortunately finding a therapist in Germany is near impossible even in a big city, I’ve been on the waiting list for almost a year now with no sign of end and I live in Hamburg which is one of the richest cities in Germany
Also living in Hamburg. Have you tried 116117.app to at least get a first appointment? I got lists and lists full of phone numbers, always got rejected or waitlisted, but found a therapist quite quickly near me using this first talk. Nobody told me about this, had to search a lot. I hope this helps.
Many will offer a first appointment for preliminary diagnosis and to check if they can help you, but then you are put onto the waiting list