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Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

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Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#471

Post by huevosabio »

javajosh wrote: post #124

My mother told me to not care what other people thought. She also told me that words can't really hurt people ("sticks and stones..."). She also believed its "mean" to have any preference about people, calling it a version of "keeping score". In fact, "keeping score" was one of the worst things you could be accused of in my household. Her advice fails to accept the reality of social and emotional needs. It also fails…

Interestingly that is also some of the advice from my parents and I think I am much happier for it.

In my experience, being able to just fly by without thinking too much about others is like traveling light, unencumbered.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#472

Post by huevosabio »

checkyoursudo wrote: post #383
JKCalhoun wrote: post #266

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It was also advice to Feynman from his wife, “What do you care what other people think?” :-)

I think this should also not be seen as free-reign to be an asshole. I live by a similar creed, but it is more nuanced. I like to tell my children that they should not care about what other people think about who my children are as people, but that they should comport themselves in society with kindness and sincerity because that is the right way to behave. Like, I literally could not care any less about what people…

Yes, exactly, you behave properly because it's how you would like to be treated and because it is the right thing to do.

And ideally you behave well independently of whether the other party doesn't.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#473

Post by XCSme »

weinzierl wrote: post #220
IgorPartola wrote: post #166

Always take sides. By not taking a side you are automatically wrong. This doesn’t mean you should engage in identity politics, etc. but when faced with a choice take the time to make an informed decision. If you say something “should be a thing” you are automatically now in charge of creating it or convincing someone to create it. Do not tell people who are working on things that they should realize your idea if you…

> "Always take sides." I've heard and read this advice numerous times, and it is even very old advice. "Rulers must never remain neutral. If neighboring rulers fight, you must take sides, because if you do not, the winner will threaten you, and the loser will not befriend you. Whether or not your ally wins, he will be grateful to you. However, if you can avoid it, you should never ally with someone more powerful than…

What about Switzerland?

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#474

Post by rrwo »

pmoriarty wrote: post #217
rrwo wrote: post #159

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Also, for social invitations, "If it's not absolutely yes, it's definitely no." Life is too short to waste your free time being somewhere that you don't want to be. (It's also easier to change a "no" to a "yes" later, then to change from a "yes" to a "no".)

"Life is too short to waste your free time being somewhere that you don't want to be." Then again, you might be surprised at who you meet when you're somewhere you don't want to be. Too many people are shut-ins and never meet anyone, so never get the chance to meet someone who might change their life, help, or stimulate them. I'd err on the side of meeting more people and giving them a chance, unless you're already a…

Fair point.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#475

Post by XCSme »

CamperBob2 wrote: post #451
pmoriarty wrote: post #183

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've bought thousands of books that I never read... so... yeah, that was a waste of money. I presume you did better with your investment.

Then again, the most valuable book in the world isn't the Gutenberg Bible or a first folio of Shakespeare or a handwritten draft of Principia . It's the one you need at 2 AM on a Sunday morning but don't have on your shelf.

This sounds like a great ad for Audible.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#476

Post by XCSme »

Just one note: very likely that all the advice here is heavily biased and resonating only with the like-minded people browsing HN.

My advice: There is not a single correct way to live life. Everyone finds their own meaning in life and you shouldn't judge someone that found a different meaning than yourself.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#477

Post by XCSme »

CPLNTN wrote: post #21

“All endings are also beginnings, you just don’t know it at the time” Helped me with the anxiety I always had about loosing people, opportunities and such

On the same note, I always think that any change or action leads to unforeseeable results in the future. Literally, you stepping in a shit yesterday could lead to you becoming president in 10 years. The butterfly effect is real and continuously acting on an enormous scale, this is why you should never be too sad or angry about any event, as it is neither good nor bad because no one knows what effect it will have in the long run.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#478

Post by XCSme »

oweiler wrote: post #6

Not a single advice, but David Goggins "Can't hurt me" was a game changer for me.

It also changed my life, not because of all the motivational stuff, but just because of the advice to do stretching exercise. I think it's been over one year now since I started doing some stretching every morning and it drastically reduced the injuries and discomfort I have after physical activities.

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#479

Post by XCSme »

misterspaceman wrote: post #160

Happiness is a state of mind. You don't find happiness hiding under a rock one day, you have to make it for yourself. Also, don't get all of your validation from other people, because it can be very inconsistent; instead, get your validation through things you are good at (like hobbies, skills, etc.)

> get your validation through things you are good at (like hobbies, skills, etc.)

This is a double-edged sword, some say that you should be happy with what you already are and not base your happiness on what you can do. What do you do if something happens to you and you lose the ability to perform that certain skill? Does that mean you are constantly unhappy now?

Re: Ask HN: Advice that changed your life?

#480

Post by crankin »

layer8 wrote: post #456
crankin wrote: post #299

I have found that all the best advice I've received centers on how to focus your attention. As humans when we can give something our full attention it's almost impossible that what we are doing won't bear fruit. Here are some axioms around that idea that if you implement you will progress. - Time is not your most valuable resource. Your attention is. - Focus your attention only on things that have disproportionate re…

> Discern between Type 1 & Type 2 decisions. High vs low consequence. If high consequence apply scientific method. Everything else delegate to smart people. What is meant by “everything else” here? All low-consequence decisions? That doesn’t seem to make sense (e.g. what to eat for lunch today).

@layer8 one thing to keep in mind is your future and past self are people you can delegate to. If today I prepare a tuna sandwich in a brown paper sac for tomorrow's lunch. Then I have delegated that decision to "someone else"... past me. Keeping my current self focused in the now.

Yesterday me's focus was on making the sandwich.

But here's another piece of advice. Don't think in absolutes! Sometimes you'll have to use your gut on a Type 1, sometimes you'll be making the Type 2 decision. It's just advice not the law of Moses.

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