Programmer: I'm going out for a walk.
Programmer's partner: While you're out, could you buy some milk?
And the programmer never returned.
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
471–480 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#472Earlier quoted context omitted.
Could you share an example of this? I could be misinterpreting this but say you're building a survey system and you need to keep track of answer types (e.g. text, date, etc) and the answer itself, how can you collapse that into one field?
Your thermos does not have a switch which you must set to "hot" or "cold" before inserting a liquid, handles solids as well as liquids, and doesn't require you to even think where the theshold might lie between the "hot" and "cold" settings. Instead it just does its best to prevent an energy exchange in either direction without having to even know the variables involved. And the "same subroutine" is basically used fo…
Even better, let's just have the default orderFilter be the equivalent of '*'.
If there's always a filter, then there's no longer a branch at the point it's used -- that needs to be tested and maintained.
I used to work with a programmer who I found difficult because their code was an ever-increasing number of "if" statements as each new case came along. Conversely he would say coding is relatively easy and that I was overcomplicating a problem by thinking about it; all I needed to do is "add an if statement here".
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#473Earlier quoted context omitted.
The "you learn limits in like, 9th grade" comment reminds me of this one: Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells he…
> ask the blonde waitress an integral I know this is a fun thread, but in real life you could have serious problems if you tell this kind of jokes. To my fellow downvoters: I hate it as much as you do.
You didn't understand the joke did you?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#474Q: What's the difference between Ant and Maven?
A: The creator of Ant has apologized.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#475There's an old Joel on Software one related to string concatenation: Shlemiel gets a job as a street painter, painting the dotted lines down the middle of the road. On the first day he takes a can of paint out to the road and finishes 300 yards of the road. "That's pretty good!" says his boss, "you're a fast worker!" and pays him a kopeck. The next day Shlemiel only gets 150 yards done. "Well, that's not nearly as go…
The other day I was asking my data scientist brother if you run into this problem training DNN's (anyone: do you?), and ended up telling this one!
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Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#476One of my all time favorites. Can’t remember where I first read it (Quora?), but it’s currently my top Google hit for “balloon programmer project manager joke”. [0] ============ A man is flying in a hot air balloon and realizes he is lost. He reduces height and spots a man down below. He lowers the balloon further and shouts: "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised my friend. I would meet him half an hour ago, but I…
A similar joke I heard recently: A helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment. Due to the clouds and haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position and course to fly to the airport. The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter…
A helicopter was flying around above Seattle...malfunction disabled... aircraft's electronic navigation and communications equipment...
....The pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, drew a handwritten sign, and held it in the helicopter's window. The pilot's sign said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a large sign and held it in a building window.
The Sign was a stylized picture of the helicopter they were in, with a BIG red arrow pointing towards the pilot's window where a small cartoon pilot held up a sign saying 'WHERE AM I" in a hand-rendered Helvetica font.
The pilot smiled...yadda yadda yadda..
After they were on the ground, one of the passengers asked...
The Pilot responded "Tableau Software"
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#477Why did the programmer swim in the crocodile river?
Warnings, but no errors.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#478A programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. The bartender says I'll give you a drink if you tell me a programmer joke. And he says: a programmer walks into a bar and ask for a drink. So he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink, so he gives the guy a drink.
In a similar vein:
One day a student came to Moon and said: “I understand how to make a better garbage collector. We must keep a reference count of the pointers to each cons.”
Moon patiently told the student the following story:
“One day a student came to Moon and said: ‘I understand how to make a better garbage collector...
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#479Do you know what are black holes? It's where God divided by 0.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#480Earlier quoted context omitted.
Would you be kind and explain this joke please?
First of all, the joke makes no sense if you put a logistician instead of logician. Second, if you ask one person a question related to the opinions of all others, logically they can't answer yes or no, the only possible answer is "I don't know." Only when you reach the last person you have a chance of giving a definite answer. Note the first logicians have to answer "I don't know" even if they don't wan't it, otherw…
> Note the first logicians have to answer "I don't know"
> even if they don't wan't it, otherwise their statement
> becomes untrue.