MongoDB is webscale: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b2F-DItXtZs
I almost messed my pants watching this! It's hilarious! Thanks!
Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
461–470 of 905 posts
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#462Not exactly programming jocks, more like tech jokes, but I remember http://bash.org/?top to be an amazing source of humor back when I had my first steps as a techie 15 years ago
Also a more long form source of funny developer anecdotes was https://thedailywtf.com/
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#463Friend: Congratulations on the child, is it a boy or a girl?
Programmer: Yes.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#464I've been working on getting our Java code running on Windows. It's going alright, but I had to shut off the garbage collector altogether - whenever it runs, all of our JARs end up in the Recycle Bin.
Oh, thats a new one, and about Java and actually funny!
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#465The best thing about NaN jokes is that they're all different.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#466No one mentions this one? too old?:
Two bytes meet. The first byte asks, "Are you ill?" The second byte replies, “No, just feeling a bit off.”
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#467Earlier quoted context omitted.
The "you learn limits in like, 9th grade" comment reminds me of this one: Two mathematicians are in a bar. The first one says to the second that the average person knows very little about basic mathematics. The second one disagrees, and claims that most people can cope with a reasonable amount of math. The first mathematician goes off to the washroom, and in his absence the second calls over the waitress. He tells he…
> ask the blonde waitress an integral I know this is a fun thread, but in real life you could have serious problems if you tell this kind of jokes. To my fellow downvoters: I hate it as much as you do.
Did you stop reading then? Because the actual joke is that even the guy that thought the average person numerate stereotyped her as dumb and was wrong.
An absurd example of a 'blonde joke' to object to if you're going to.
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#468My favorite:
=====================
A Computer Programmer finds a frog by the side of the road.
The frog says, "I am actually a Princess! If you kiss me, I'll revert back to my human form and be forever grateful?", the programmer smiles and puts the frog back in his pocket.
Again, the frog says, "But I really am! I would even marry you if you kiss me and turn me back into a human!", the programmer chuckles and puts the frog away again.
Ten minutes later, the frog says, "Look, if you kiss me, I'll have sex with you all day, every day. Deal?", the programmer laughs and puts the frog away again.
He gets home, takes the now severely depressed frog out of his pocket and sets it down in an aquarium. The frog looks up at the coder and says, "What the fuck is wrong with you man? I offered to marry you, I offered to screw you, but STILL you won't turn me back into my human form."
The programmer says, "I'm a programmer. I don't have time for relationships, or sex - but a talking frog? SO COOL!"
=====================
credits to: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/8ylptx/a_computer_pr...
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#469Knock knock.
Race condition.
Who's there?
Re: Ask HN: Anyone know any funny programming jokes?
#470Programming is like sex: make a mistake, and you just may end up supporting it for the next 18 years.
Make anything.