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Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

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451–460 of 890 posts

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#452

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Have you discussed adopting a kid?

Yes, we have. Apparently it's close to impossible to adopt a kid for us, considering that we are in our 40's and that demand is much greater than supply, so they pick younger couples. Also, there seems to be a whole industry pretty much stealing children from poor countries and selling them to couples like us. I do not want to be part of that.

Demand is much greater than supply? I’m pretty surprised to hear this actually. Would you be willing to educate me a little bit about this? My understanding is that there are countless children in foster homes waiting to be adopted.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#453
post #322

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Good things, but Memento Mori. No matter what you do, your health will fail eventually. Decide what your life is about and get about doing it.

I am 60 but very active and fit. Can't overstate the importance of it. It makes me feel young and I am constantly working on new projects, have lots of energy and general positive outlook. Clients do not believe my age when they see me. They think I am 40. Meanwhile at one point (year 2000) I was total physical and mental wreck after working as a lead architect for a company. Went on my own since then. What I do - My…

Totally seconded.

I feel that from the biological point of view, the brain evolved to serve the body (mostly for locomotion) and it's level of function is tightly related to fitness in general

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#454
post #132

I’m in my late 40s. Just gone through 15 years of absolute shit with an ex partner and financial chaos. Decided I’d fix it in 2019. Three important things to concentrate on: 1. Health. If that’s off, fix it first. Everything depends on health. Sort out your diet, physical fitness and health and mental health follows. I’m fitter than all my peers and both fitter and healthier than I was in my 20s. Can run a half marat…

+1 on health, but especially fitness. There is no health without it. In last few years it was all too easy to stop doing sports, but there should be less excuse now. If you are afraid of getting infected, go outdoor!

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#455

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Plus one in health and physical fitness. Buying a bicycle and using it daily was probably the best investment I ever made in myself. Also, I can't believe that I smoked those filthy cigarretes for so long, but how good is that I stopped this habit. About material realizations please remind that the average successful enterpreneur age is about 45. I only started being able to save serious, retirement-style money when…

Which bike did you buy?

Bear in mind there's still a bike shortage right now. Something that fits your body and is comfortable is the most important thing. I'm 58 and an avid cyclist, but realized that my body just doesn't like road style bikes, so I actually dismantled my fancy Trek road bike and built something that was more comfortable to ride.

For me, making it easy to "just get out and ride" is the key thing. Even if it means less exciting rides. I don't have to get into special clothing or put my bike in a car and take it somewhere.

I also enjoy the outdoors in general. I treat it as a way to get away from technology for a while, so I'm into simple things like hiking, walking, cross country skiing, etc.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#456

Reading through the comments, does it feel like they have no idea what you're going through or where you're coming from? If so, let me tell you what worked for me. None of these comments ever works without having someone around you that you can reality test with. You need to find a partner in life. You need to get married. And no, a live-in partner won't do. That is it. There is no other solutions for you. Meetups, h…

> You need to find a partner in life. You need to get married.

No you don't. This is not a prerequisite for happiness or meaning. It's a narrow view on life to believe that the only way to achieve fulfilment is through marriage. Especially not even considering all the pitfalls involved, and all the risks of it making your life much worse.

Maybe it'll work for OP, maybe it won't. It's way too big of a blanket statement to just say "marriage will fix your problems".

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#457
post #335

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Yep this. The average rate of return is 10% so this is someone who can make $50k a year just off this money alone. The real median wage in the USA for workers who worked full time in 2020 was $56k. This person has enough money to nearly replicate the financial success of your average American via a do-nothing secondary income. Your average American retires with only $200k saved up by age 65 as well. $500k is a lot of…

Where are you getting 10% guaranteed a year?

As of right now, dividend-paying mortgage REITs pay around 9-10%. The US government will never let its housing market fail, and low interest rates let these trusts borrow inexpensively.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#458

Reading through the comments, does it feel like they have no idea what you're going through or where you're coming from? If so, let me tell you what worked for me. None of these comments ever works without having someone around you that you can reality test with. You need to find a partner in life. You need to get married. And no, a live-in partner won't do. That is it. There is no other solutions for you. Meetups, h…

Yes but getting married is not a goal in itself. It’s necessary but not sufficient.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#459

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> My daily exercise routine is - 2 hour cardio Do you have a full-time job? That would take most of my evenings if I decided to do it.

No one starts doing 2 hours of cardio. You can do 20-30 mins and be a lot better off than with 0.

You can do HIIT: 10s warmup and 4 sets of: 30 second high intensity work followed by 30 seconds break. That's 4m10s in total.

It's been clinically proven to help with vascular health (HDL cholesterol level goes up) and increase insulin receptiveness.

Re: Ask HN: How do you deal with getting old and feeling lost?

#460
post #237

I do not mean to tear down OP, but you are 35 and have $500k in savings. You lived in other countries, had startups and worked at a big company. You are not lost, you are one of the 1%. It sounds like you did a lot and now "normal" life that the rest of have to go through seems sucky. It is. I have years of experience, not 1/5th your savings, have not traveled and now I am actually too old for "big company" to hire m…

Although life starts for a lot of people at 35, I envy those people who are able to start much earlier. These are the people who have their first relationships in high school and college, find their life partner in early twenties, get the right job, a house, kids, keep their friend circle, invest money as early as possible, god damn. They live perfect fuckin lives and it’s all because they bravely jumped in and embra…

I would be careful with that line of thinking. We often envy illusion. We don't truly know that 'those people' are living nearly as wonderful a life as we're inclined to think they are. Further, in my experience, the "perfect life" is always one moment away from "disaster" - be it a health complication, sudden loss, or any of the myriad of ways things go awry. Pain and suffering is not something any of us seems likely to avoid in this life, and inflicting misery upon ourselves due to comparison with what is likely projected fantasy is just one of its many shades.
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