Ask HN: How did you stop drinking? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#441

Post by marginalia_nu » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:20 PM UTC

Eupraxias wrote: post #425

onion2k wrote: post #334

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets. I drink alcohol at least 2 or 3 times a week. I can't remember the last time I had a hangover. I just don't drink an excessive amount. Junk food promises a great time. Junk food delivers poor health and regrets. I eat junk food a few times every month. I'm above average on most health metrics. Going to the gym promises hardship and struggle. It d…

You posted the comment I would have added. But let me ask, what do you have in your existential toolbox that helps you do this? What have you experienced in your life which might make this easier for you than for others?

The secret, as I posted elsewhere, is that self-control is something you need to practice, like going to the gym for your amygdala. Every time your resolve wavers, resisting temptations gets harder. Every time you resist, the next time gets easier.

This is what accounts for the stark differences in outlook. If you've practiced this, it feels easy, and it can be difficult to even relate to how others struggle. If you don't, it feels impossible, and it can be difficult to relate to how others find it so easy.

It can be a surprisingly quick process. If you have some impossibly tempting snack you're struggling to resist, if you just grin and willpower your way through it a couple of times, rough as they may be, it takes less willpower each time. By the 5th or 6th time you've done this, it's maybe still effortful, but already noticeably easier. By the 20th time, you may not even feel the temptation at all.

... depending on what's got you hooked, obviously. Substance addictions may linger for a longer time, but the principle is the same. Even if you still crave cigarettes two months after you've quit, it's nowhere near as bad as it was 5 days in.

It's not without reason almost every culture has had rituals of fasting or abstinence. It turns out this is a pretty good thing to practice every once in a while, even if you don't have to become a desert ascetic or go full Jocko Willink in the process.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#442

Post by PaulHoule » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:21 PM UTC

I've never been an "alcoholic" but I have occasionally drunk too much and made an ass of myself (like once every through years.) I've had times when I drank very little, others when I regularly drank 2-3 drinks a day.

One fall we made about 30 gallons of applejack from our own apples and I drank enough of it that December that I thought I was starting to become dependent because I'd feel uncomfortably warm if I went a day without drinking any. I didn't have a hard time kicking it though. (I live on a farm and have acres of seedling "cow apples" that are not sweet at all and not pleasant to eat out of hand but horses like them and they make good cider. I've got some good clonal apples in the hedgerows that seeded in the cow apples.)

More recently though I had a doctor tell me that I should stop drinking alcohol entirely and that doctor and another doctor told me to stop drinking caffeine. I found quitting alcohol easy, quitting caffeine much harder. I've had maybe 1 alcoholic drink once a month since, I still occasionally drink maybe 2 fluid ounces of coffee in 6 fluid ounces of milk.

I am a big fan these days of going to happy hour and having a Heineken NA.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#443

Post by terrib1e » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:21 PM UTC

Everyone that is giving advice and feedback should also state their age or atleast age range. My perspective on this topic in my 20s was wildly different than my perspective in my 30s. Experience, much like hard work, is superior to youthful ingenuity.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#444

Post by majso » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:23 PM UTC

I cut alcohol completely 4 years ago. One day I released that it is too harmful for me and to people around. It was not about having fun anymore, it was about drinking, having little please from it and then regretting that. That was a breaking point for me.

PROS:

- less headaches

- less problems with digestion/stomach pain

- more money left for other things

CONS:

- no social life

- no "friends" left

- working too much

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#445

Post by [deleted] » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:23 PM UTC

amalcon wrote: post #371

marginalia_nu wrote: post #325

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's sort of a false dichotomy. The options aren't 1. Drink alcohol to calm down 2. Stay anxious and stressed The options are more like 1. Drink alcohol to calm down and impair your sleep ensuring you'll get stressed more often and need to have a glass of calming juice again soon 2. Wear yourself out at the gym to calm down and improve your cortisol regulation and reduce the need to calm down 3. See a therapist and…

Of course, all of those other options are actually difficult in certain ways. 2+3+4+5 can all be expensive. 3+4 are stigmatized in many cultures. 2+5 require knowledge that not everyone has. That said if you're having trouble calming down in the evening, assuming you see a doctor for routine physical examinations, you can discuss options with them. They will know this list and more, and occasionally they can convince…

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#446

Post by mcculley » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:24 PM UTC

I did not entirely quit drinking, but I reduced quite a lot.

It is important to note age when describing alcohol consumption. I am 50. What worked for me at 20 does not work at all at 50. This is generally true for most.

I have been regularly drinking alcohol for over 30 years. I found that in my 40s my drinking was gradually increasing. I was at 4-5 beers every evening. I was using too much caffeine to get moving in the morning, caffeine and sugar during the day to work, and then alcohol to relax and go to sleep.

I fasted from caffeine, alcohol, and sugar and found my mood and energy overall improved. I simply have more capacity now without these things dragging me down.

I still have 0-3 drinks per week in social settings. The important thing to me is that I have a budget that is realistic for my age, just as I do for sugar and calories. I could get away with consuming more when I was young. Now, I easily gain weight and suffer long hangovers.

Total abstinence might not be ideal for everyone. Thinking about consumption in terms of a budget is useful for everyone.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#447

Post by PaulHoule » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:26 PM UTC

marginalia_nu wrote: post #266

stinos wrote: post #254

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets Sure, but simply ignoring the time in between where alcohol effectively does deliver a great time, and which is for many people the addictive aspect of it, isn't exactly easy. Or at least not quite as easy as downplaying the hangover and regrets, as addicts often do. And since your core advice is basically not to misjudge, it's extra weird to me t…

Ultimately, pleasures and hardships fade, what remains at the end is what we accomplished and what we regret. That is, the very memories I'm suggesting you use to evaluate your habits. You had a good time at a party once. Great. Are you really still enjoying that good time? Not likely. You climbed a mountain another time. You were tired and it was very difficult. Are you still exhausted months later? Not likely. But…

Exercise is mostly good for your heart but heavy cardio training (say for marathons) can cause problems, see

https://bjsm.bmj.com/content/55/21/1233

My doc told me I should train for an hour a day but not two hours a day.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#448

Post by PaulHoule » Tue, Oct 11, 2022, 2:26 PM UTC

jiggywiggy wrote: post #424

marginalia_nu wrote: post #325

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's sort of a false dichotomy. The options aren't 1. Drink alcohol to calm down 2. Stay anxious and stressed The options are more like 1. Drink alcohol to calm down and impair your sleep ensuring you'll get stressed more often and need to have a glass of calming juice again soon 2. Wear yourself out at the gym to calm down and improve your cortisol regulation and reduce the need to calm down 3. See a therapist and…

It's both and, instead either or. We don't all want to reduce stressors, but find ways to deal with it better. Sometimes you push hard, and a good glass wine is exactly what you need. Sometimes you push hard, and you had enough wine the week before. Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations. I recommend everyone working out, but when you had a stressful day or…