Ask HN: What do you struggle with? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#441

Post by _struggling_dev » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 6:57 AM UTC

I am struggling to find steady work. I had a fabulous job after my Masters in US, which I left to move overseas with family.

Was young and decided to start a company with a friend which was shut down after quite a bit of coasting aimlessly. Tried another startup but didn't market it much hoping people will find it themselves since the product was good. (Lesson learnt !)

In the meanwhile, I developed a paranoia of flying which meant I could not go back to my old job, not to mention the visa hassles. Been freelancing for last two-three years and its just enough to put some food on the table and largess from parents is seeing me and my family through. All this took a toll on my health and I started developing classical anxiety symptoms (learnt about it later) and started worrying that something is seriously wrong with me medically. Still living with these although the frequency has gone down a bit.

Not enough money from a promising career guy (me) took a toll on all my relationships especially my spouse. I haven't really spent on any hobbies or have effectively killed all my interests as they all require money.

I am still trying to keep myself updated with latest technologies but since I do not have regular work to show of to potential employers and probably little big of ageism, its not getting easy to get any interview calls. Thinking of trying to get into teaching as it might be something I can possibly be hired for.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#442

Post by prawn » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 6:57 AM UTC

phakding wrote: post #366

Sukotto wrote: post #349

Every day is a struggle. For several years I've struggled to learn enough Japanese for daily living. (Spouse is Japanese and we moved to Japan a few years ago with our 3 school-aged kids). Very little success on this. しょうがないね My wife is out of town anywhere between 3 days to 2 weeks each month for her job. While she is gone, we rely heavily on her parents (with whom I cannot communicate directly). They take care of l…

> But here's the thing: As a man -- and especially as a white, English-speaking, North American man -- nobody gives a shit about my problems. I migrated to different country from my birth country as well. You know what, nobody gave a shot about my problems in my home country and nobody does in my adopted country. I am very independent, but few times when I leaned on someone they totally failed me (not intentionally),…

I think people fail others in that sort of situation because they have to prioritise their own problems first, and they forget a plan to aid another, or run out of time, etc. As you said, self-sufficiency is important, and getting any help from others is a bonus.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#443

Post by askafriend » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 6:59 AM UTC

sp527 wrote: post #145

_sword wrote: post #114

Pivoting my career and figuring out how to enjoy life again. I’ve been working on Wall Street for the past 4-5 years in a front office role and am apparently good at what I do, though I don’t find the work fulfilling or interesting. I’m strongly considering going back to school to focus on more technical fields where I believe my passion lies, but it’s a daunting task when I also have career prospects with my current…

Protip: Strongly consider moving to Venice Beach, CA or similar. If you're trying to escape the Manhattan grind (would strongly advise) and revamp your life to focus on happiness, there are few better places I can think of.

I'm curious why your advice was so specific. Why Venice Beach?

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#444

Post by lwhalen » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:03 AM UTC

sj3k wrote: post #112

lwhalen wrote: post #101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It is a wildly different experience if you are male vs female.

You've tried both? Not poking fun just curious.

in my single, more Lothario-oriented days, I've set up online dating profiles as women in my area with my ideal qualities to see what my competition sends out. It's a most eye-opening experience, that's for sure.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#445

Post by benvineyard » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:17 AM UTC

Inspiration. I constantly seek new forms of thereof.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#446

Post by serverlessadmin » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:19 AM UTC

madushan1000 wrote: post #423

wetpaste wrote: post #339

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is just some MVP java app with an nginx proxy, elastic-search, and mysql? Why is this running in k8s on aws via Kops in conjunction with a cloudformation template for aurora inside of a VPC? With containers separately built via packer +ansible kicked off via jenkins after each pull request merge? The CI pipeline also kicks off a canary deployment in our UAT environment with a prometheus exporter for monitoring o…

I dunno, I think it's a pretty neat stack. At least you don't have to deal with OSGI and the works. In all seriousness though, please don't build things on k8s unless you have a couple of microservices or the infrastructure in place already.

Sorry for noob question, but what is wrong with OSGI ?

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#447

Post by [deleted] » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:30 AM UTC

snow_mac wrote: post #364

souprock wrote: post #287

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm at 11 kids now. The struggle and burden is real, though most people wrongly assume that it is a linear function of the number of kids. It isn't so bad. The first one upturns your life. The second and third are much less trouble. After that, the only thing you notice is when you outgrow a vehicle. I'm at a 15-passenger van now, which is hard to outgrow before the oldest kids learn to drive. Once you have a couple…

Have you heard of condoms?

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#448

Post by adiusmus » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:35 AM UTC

loblollyboy wrote: post #394

jamesrcole wrote: post #292

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> You did nothing wrong, you walked the path, like the rest of us. Earlier in your comment you say "Of course there are a lot of variations", but then here you treat it as if everyone ("the rest of us") walks that same path. Not everyone does.

I would kill to be a normie

Aim higher. And a bit to the right. Breathe.

Everyone who is “normal” has quirks. If you don’t see any then you haven’t looked closely enough.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#449

Post by adiusmus » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 7:50 AM UTC

allthenews wrote: post #131

Snackchez wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

1. Meet someone you're interested in via an online medium (tinder, bumble, POF, OKC, etc.) OR irl through social activities. 2. Go on a date. Follow KISS principle: evening time, grab a drink, socialize. Use FORD principle to create conversation. Test the waters with various topics of interests, talk about stuff that you find passionate (people usually gravitate to you if you speak passionately about something) 3. ??…

This comment comes off as intensely smug, from someone who has little experience with difficulty in dating. Things are not so simple. In fact, the very nature of social interaction is such that it cannot be preemptively, logically broken down and solved. Many men have trouble getting past step 1 on the dating apps you list. The funnel of capture, so to speak, from message to response can be extremely wide, both on an…

Simple does not imply easy.

Go forth into the world and find someone. Expect failure. She may find fault in you. You may find fault in her. Evaluate her as much as she evaluates you. Evaluate your approach, how you speak etc. You’ll need to improve and change.

Being afraid to approach means you equate failure with some kind of death. That by itself is a faulty belief you’ll need experience to get rid of.

If you want homework: approach 300 women and see how you go. Vary every approach, change the time, place, activity. Document each attempt: What worked, what didn’t.

Have fun.

Re: Ask HN: What do you struggle with?

#450

Post by mrhappyunhappy » Thu, Aug 30, 2018, 8:22 AM UTC

I am mostly struggling with losimg weight. I have always been around 200lbs with highest at 204lbs. Recently I went on a low carb diet and cut out most sugar except from fruit and I got down to 194 lbs but according to an app I have I am still at the extreme end of obese. I'm 5'11 with a body day of 26.4% though I don't look that fat. I do have somewhat of a gut but it's been shrinking on my new diet. Recently I started lifting and i put on some muscle mass around arms and core but I have now plateaued in weight loss at around 193. I have never been able to get to 180 in my life except when I passed that number on the way up. My ultimate goal is 175 with 10% body fat but I have a feeling I need to go on an extremely controlled diet with a ton of exercise, lifting and cardio. I feel demotivated and defeated so this is what I struggle with most.