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Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

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Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#431

Post by marginalia_nu »

stef25 wrote: post #358
marginalia_nu wrote: post #149

I've found it easy to stop a great deal of such behaviors by examining not what they promise to deliver, but what they actually brought. I.e. don't look forward, look backward when making decisions. Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets. Junk food promises a great time. Junk food delivers poor health and regrets. Going to the gym promises hardship and struggle. It delivers health. I'v…

My problem is I can drink a bottle of wine and it doesn't really delivery a hangover. I know it's bad for me in the long run but it's hard to resist if it helps me worry less without any negative effects that are immediately noticeable. Working out doesn't really help in the sense that I can go run 10+ Km and feel great but that still doesn't stop the endless ruminations that drive me crazy.

Have you considered seeing a therapist? Rumination is often very treatable.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#432

Post by coldpie »

jcims wrote: post #160
imgabe wrote: post #26

I haven't had a drink in 27 days, which is the longest I've gone in a while. Left to my own devices, I tend to settle into a pattern of 2-4 drinks per night, 5-6 nights a week (I actually tracked this for a while with a spreadsheet). It's not like, ruin my life, wake up in a gutter type situation, but it leads to just feeling somewhat crappy all the time, and I didn't like it, so I wanted to stop. Some things that he…

>Left to my own devices, I tend to settle into a pattern of 2-4 drinks per night, 5-6 nights a week (I actually tracked this for a while with a spreadsheet). This is where I would settle as well, except some Saturdays when I'd have a bloody mary in the morning then just nurse gin and sodas from noon until 2am Sunday. Just enough to keep a little happy buzz going, I really don't like getting drunk at all. My daughter…

> My daughter started a practice of not buying alcohol for her home.

This has been working for me, too. For a few years in my late 20s I was doing 1-2 drinks per day on average, with a fair number of completely sober days in there as well. Never "problem" territory, but as I got into my 30s, I realized I felt way, way better on the days where I didn't have anything at all to drink the night before. So if I was ever waffling on whether to have a drink, I'd choose not to. Earlier this year I ran out of beers in the fridge and I've just not restocked it. We have some wine and stuff, which I drink with my wife when we have a nice dinner cooked, but it's probably one night a week now or even less. That feels OK to me.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#433

Post by marginalia_nu »

jiggywiggy wrote: post #424
marginalia_nu wrote: post #325

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's sort of a false dichotomy. The options aren't 1. Drink alcohol to calm down 2. Stay anxious and stressed The options are more like 1. Drink alcohol to calm down and impair your sleep ensuring you'll get stressed more often and need to have a glass of calming juice again soon 2. Wear yourself out at the gym to calm down and improve your cortisol regulation and reduce the need to calm down 3. See a therapist and…

It's both and, instead either or. We don't all want to reduce stressors, but find ways to deal with it better. Sometimes you push hard, and a good glass wine is exactly what you need. Sometimes you push hard, and you had enough wine the week before. Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations. I recommend everyone working out, but when you had a stressful day or…

> Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations.

Huh. I've had a lot of success with therapy in this regard. Wouldn't recommend something I haven't tried.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#435

Post by pwpw »

I started following the Greek Orthodox Lenten fasting schedule[0] even though I am not Greek Orthodox. In this context, fasting means refraining from the consumption of specific things. It basically boils down to a vegan diet with no alcohol and minimum oils (e.g. olive oil) during various periods of the year. I found following this schedule really helped keep me in check even without the religious component.

After my first observance of the fast, many new habits stuck with me:

• I only drink on weekends socially with others (save for occasional exceptions such as a birthday during the week)

• I never drink alone

• When I drink, I follow each drink with a glass of water and completely stop myself if I start feeling tipsy

• I gave up meat and eventually dairy, eggs, and fish (in that order) because I felt so good during the fast

Now, elements of the fast has become a bit more permanent in my life apart from the strict periods of no alcohol and no oil. Although, I do not have to battle alcohol addiction, I found periods of fasting really helped me gain a greater control of myself and what I regularly consume. It may seem odd for a non-religious person to follow, but I think there were good reasons the Greeks have historically followed this schedule that have led to a healthy lifestyle. Regardless of possible health benefits[1], following a fasting schedule really helps keep me in check and prevent my past behaviors of over-indulging in pleasurable things (for me that was primarily an over consumption of meat without consideration of the negative side effects from that behavior).

[0] https://www.goarch.org/-/when-you-fast

[1] https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC156653/

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#436

Post by spcebar »

theGnuMe wrote: post #379

If you don't need to detox then it's a one day at a time thing. If you can't do one day then start with one hour. You can find a therapist who specializes in addiction recovery to help keep you accountable. You can go to an AA meeting. Find a group of friends who don't drink and do things with them. Actively remember life and having fun before you drank. For me that was high school. Throw out all of your booze and do…

Congratulations on your three months! Keep it up! These are great tips.

I'll add 1. Put any friendships that revolve around drinking on hold and 2. Find healthy natural highs--taking a bad habit out of your life is an excellent opportunity to find healthy things you enjoy doing to fill that void.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#437

Post by drlolz »

The 12-pack-in-a-weekend part makes me think you’ve got a problematic relationship with alcohol. You might start with an examination of why you’d choose to do that on a particular weekend instead of something else. I spent a decade ramping up to about 5 beers a day, and it initially had a lot to do with anxiety and feeling trapped in a life that wasn’t fulfilling to me. Even after I addressed those things aggressively, the drinking remained. I failed to control it every day. Only until I could visibly see the effects it was having on my body was I able to quit. I quit because of vanity!

It is hard to offer universally good advice on this, but because I personally can’t drink moderately, maintaining an intentional and holistic relationship with myself is the way I’m able to stay off it. I try to remember that regular life as a goldmine far more rewarding than alcohol.

Last thing: self-hatred and alcoholism go hand-in-hand, so find ways to treat yourself well, whether you drank too much or not.

Good luck :)

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#438

Post by petsormeat »

After twenty years of daily wine drinking, I woke up feeling terrible and looking worse, and just--quit. I was curious how things would proceed if I just didn't drink alcohol. I put a hash mark on my office whiteboard, and wondered how many I could accumulate.

It's been five years of complete abstinence. I didn't join any programs or make any noise about quitting; I just quit. I don't miss a thing about drinking.

I think I was successful because I made it simple. I didn't try to taper or wrestle with the conflicting formulas for "moderate" drinking. It helps that there's increased awareness of "sober curiosity," and more consideration for those of us not drinking at social occasions.

You've already been able to quit, so next time, just extend the duration--maybe it'll be forever.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#439

Post by ChrisMarshallNY »

Just FYI: I had 42 years, last month. Got clean at 18. I'd used up my quota, by then.

I can't go into detail, in public, but I didn't do it, myself, and I didn't "moderate."

I stopped completely. That includes all mind-altering drugs (pot is a drug, and alcohol is a powerful sedative/hypnotic). To this day, I am extremely cautious about prescriptions, and there are many drugs that have been introduced, since I got clean. I avoid them, as well.

I hang out regularly, with many others, that have done likewise. Hanging out, together, is a big part of things. We do it One Day At A Time.

WFM. YMMV.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#440

Post by freedom2099 »

Eupraxias wrote: post #425
onion2k wrote: post #334

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets. I drink alcohol at least 2 or 3 times a week. I can't remember the last time I had a hangover. I just don't drink an excessive amount. Junk food promises a great time. Junk food delivers poor health and regrets. I eat junk food a few times every month. I'm above average on most health metrics. Going to the gym promises hardship and struggle. It d…

You posted the comment I would have added. But let me ask, what do you have in your existential toolbox that helps you do this? What have you experienced in your life which might make this easier for you than for others?

I did not post the previous comment but I am pretty much the same… I can indulge in alcohol and junk food with moderation (again I think my last hungover was more than 15 years ago)! I think to be able to “control” yourself one must posses discipline and mental health (and good genetics). I don’t drink to “escape” or “relax”… I genuinely like beer and wine for their taste (usually with some good food).
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