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Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

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Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#421

Post by petercooper »

I stopped drinking entirely for about 4 years due to stomach pain caused by acid. Pain is a fantastic motivator for stopping doing something - physical pain is of course the most obvious. It eventually cleared up and I've started to enjoy the occasional drink.

I didn't notice a single benefit to not drinking, but I only have one and done. An arguable upside is it stops me snacking. I imagine the problem isn't alcohol as such, but going over the top. Someone at work says it's impossible for them to just have "one drink" because it leads to more, and if that's the case, I imagine going teetotal will yield bigger benefits.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#422

Post by uptownfunk »

fancy_hammer wrote: post #410

Stopping social drinking was tougher than stopping binge drinking for me. What helped was deciding to go 100% cold turkey for a year. It forced me to learn how to socialise sober. Before that it was too easy to opt out of sobriety "just for this occasion".

Any tips for socializing sober? I struggle with that

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#423

Post by uptownfunk »

djtango wrote: post #30

The thing that I find holds me most accountable is exercise. If I'm preparing for something (a race or a bout) then drinking undoes all the hard training and it's evident in my performance. The longest I went was about a year. I still enjoy the odd drink and very occasionally might have a bigger night but I feel fairly well moderated. If you're really going for zero (or close to zero) then it's going to need a bigger…

Yes this is one of the best answers. Exercise makes such a huge difference.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#424

Post by jiggywiggy »

marginalia_nu wrote: post #325
soggybutter wrote: post #305

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a little over a week without alcohol, but I drank every day because I have a lot of difficulty winding down and relaxing. I still do, but I've made the personal decision to prioritize my physical health. How do you square this advice with people who drink because the alternative is highly stressful evenings? Evaluating the history, I can see that drinking _eventually_ led to poorer health, but over the course of…

That's sort of a false dichotomy. The options aren't 1. Drink alcohol to calm down 2. Stay anxious and stressed The options are more like 1. Drink alcohol to calm down and impair your sleep ensuring you'll get stressed more often and need to have a glass of calming juice again soon 2. Wear yourself out at the gym to calm down and improve your cortisol regulation and reduce the need to calm down 3. See a therapist and…

It's both and, instead either or. We don't all want to reduce stressors, but find ways to deal with it better.

Sometimes you push hard, and a good glass wine is exactly what you need.

Sometimes you push hard, and you had enough wine the week before.

Therapists are overrated, no scientific backing in learning how to deal with high stress situations.

I recommend everyone working out, but when you had a stressful day or week, a gym workout might just add more cortisol.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#425

Post by Eupraxias »

onion2k wrote: post #334
marginalia_nu wrote: post #149

I've found it easy to stop a great deal of such behaviors by examining not what they promise to deliver, but what they actually brought. I.e. don't look forward, look backward when making decisions. Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets. Junk food promises a great time. Junk food delivers poor health and regrets. Going to the gym promises hardship and struggle. It delivers health. I'v…

Alcohol promises a great time. Alcohol delivers a hangover and regrets. I drink alcohol at least 2 or 3 times a week. I can't remember the last time I had a hangover. I just don't drink an excessive amount. Junk food promises a great time. Junk food delivers poor health and regrets. I eat junk food a few times every month. I'm above average on most health metrics. Going to the gym promises hardship and struggle. It d…

You posted the comment I would have added. But let me ask, what do you have in your existential toolbox that helps you do this?

What have you experienced in your life which might make this easier for you than for others?

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#426

Post by marginalia_nu »

strgcmc wrote: post #412
marginalia_nu wrote: post #342

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've quit addictions. It's important to understand that resolve is something you need to practice, it's like a muscle. Every time you give in to a temptation, your resolve weakens. Every time you resist, it gets stronger. Practicing like this quite literally rewires your brain. Strengthens the ability of the amygdala to regulate behavior. If you give in to every impulse, you teach your brain to exercise less impulse…

This type of advice does work, but only for some people. I would hazard that "some" isn't even a majority of alcoholics or other kinds of addicts. So, it's an interesting perspective to share, but please don't assume that what worked for you is universally good advice for everyone. You may as well be a patient in a drug trial, one of the let's say 30% that responded well to the drug, but afterwards you go out and cla…

I'm not assuming anything. I'm sharing my experiences, which are the only experiences I've had, and the basis for my knowledge and understanding of the world.

I will also share the experience that addicts in general are experts at self-deception. They'll have long lists of reasons why their addiction is uniquely impossible to break, and most will dismiss trying anything as a waste of time, not from reflection but as a reflex.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#428

Post by jacobriis »

inpro wrote: post #283
neonihil wrote: post #216

Alcohol is a slow killer. Physical addiction takes about 10 years to form. First, it's barely noticeable. People think it's age, and "after 30 hangover lasts for 2 days". But that is not actually being hang over. It is the symptom of alcohol withdrawal. Mild one at first, but more severe as physical addiction settles in. Drinking 3-4 days a week seems like "okay". However, it basically means drinking whenever withdra…

Quoted post unavailable.

What is the amerimutt ethnic group?

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#429

Post by lemonberry »

I haven't had a drink in almost 5 years. I still consume cannabis and psychedelics.

I talk to a LOT of people about this. But I am not a professional.

Tip #1: You have to stop beating yourself up over it. It's brutal. I get it. At my lowest I woke up for months wanting to eat a bullet. If I had better tools and coping skills I wouldn't have as close as I did.

Tip #2: Know you want to quit. Know that you CAN quit. It doesn't have to be today. But there will be a day.

Tip #3: Acknowledge that it's difficult and that you're doing the best you can.

Tip #4: I hate AA. I still think it's incredibly helpful for a non-insignificant number of people out there. I'm an atheist. I never bought into the steps. But the stories... hearing people say things that I'd never been able to put into words... was life changing. I wasn't the only one that couldn't put it down. It helped to hear that in words that I can relate to.

Tip #5: Get a mindfulness practice. I think a blend of meditation and stoicism (per William B. Irvine's book) is a great start. Skip the meditation if you have any trauma unless you're guided by a professional.

Tip #6: Make new friends, cut back on the old ones

Tip #7: Hobbies. Find some.

Tip #8: Keep doing what you're doing: asking for help.

Good luck. I hope you find your groove. My life is so much better today because I don't drink.

Re: Ask HN: How did you stop drinking?

#430

Post by cableshaft »

I hated that feeling too. In college in particular I had a handful of really bad nights, including a night where I blacked out my arrival back to the dorm, including apparently me showing my id to the security guy in the lobby, a morning in which I woke up to find puke all over my computer and a plate of food I had apparently prepared next to it, and a time I was at a frat party so drunk that they eventually threw me out, my friends having to carry me over their shoulders.

Got easier and easier as I got older and stopped hanging out with people who drank heavily.

I eventually made it a rule to only drink when I'm in a social engagement (and don't make a habit of going to events where alcohol is served more often than not), and limit myself to two drinks max, and that seemed to do the trick for me. I've gone as much as six months without having or even thinking about having a single drink.

I don't even desire it anymore. I enjoy when I have it, but I can't even remember the last time I went "man, I could really use a drink". For me a drink pretty much always just means diet soda or coffee now.

I actually have beer in my fridge and wine from before the pandemic that I still haven't drunk, and some leftover alcohol I brought to an event three months ago I haven't even touched since, so I'm pretty sure I don't have a problem anymore.

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