Ask HN: How can I stop being jealous of people who succeed before me?

I'd take a look at your standards and ideals and the role they play. I'm willing to bet they are unrealistic, and are the root cause of your envy. You're not concerned with simply doing well for yourself, you have to be number 1! but the problem is there can be only one #1, and its foolish to be unhappy or envious because you are #2, or #300. Stop comparing yourself to others, and start comparing yourself to you from yesterday, or last year.

I disagree that you should care about your own happiness. Happiness is not a meaningful goal unless you are willing wrap it in nonsensical notions like "actual happiness."

Actual happiness? How is that different from happiness?

My recommendation is to get good at _making decisions_. That way, should happiness be needed, you will be better able to produce it. But if you need something very different, you will be prepared to produce that, too. Happiness is just too myopic and selfish. Good decision-making will often result in happiness, but it's not the sole justification for it. (It will often result in unhappiness, too.)

Talking about long-term entropy isn't a reliable way to make decisions. If we think of 'meaning' as "that which separates signal from noise", you would be saying that -- eventually -- we will be unable to separate them. But we don't live in a reality in which that is the case: we can separate signal and noise right now. So arguing from that point is an argument from fiction. It's kind of like saying "we shouldn't build technology because someone might make the Terminator and everybody will die." Your responsibility is to make the Terminator first and design him so that he gives out hugs and candy. Or whatever else that is good.

I probably sound overly argumentative about this. You have a good point, I'm just trying to dig more deeply into it. I don't think there is a good answer to OP's concern. I would just say "don't worry, just consider your life an experiment," (as is my approach,) but then 'worry' is just part of the experiment. Maybe worrying about it is exactly what he should do. Maybe he shouldn't be happy. Maybe that's the only way to be a better person.

Peter Thiel says competition is for losers, and he's not just talking about business strategy. Does Elon Musk waste energy comparing himself to other people? Does Larry Page seem obsessed with outperforming others? Steve Jobs? Mark Zuckerberg? Notice that these people respect and support each other.

Finance, Law, and Politics are more common destinations for people obsessed with finite games[1]. Best school, best firm, corner office, most socially respectable spouse, biggest bonus.

Work is more fulfilling when you wake up every morning focused on creating value for your customers, or finding a larger goal where you can make a contribution. If you focus on defeating others, you're going to be miserable.

My sole practical suggestion: once a week, find a way to help another person succeed. Even something small. You /can/ feel happy when others do well.

[1] http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Finite_and_Infinite_Games

Exactly this -- openly acknowledge it, talk about it with close friends, and move on. There are bigger things to accomplish.

I suggest meditation everyday for some time. During meditation, over a period of time, you will pull all of your thoughts which are currently on different worldly material things back into your mind, remove undesired ones and re-release them towards desired goals. It is like sending car into garage for washing. It is automatic process, which happens during meditation/chanting mantra like "om".

Please note I am not suggesting isolation or moving to forest for meditation ...etc. You can stay where you are but consciously allocate some time for meditation, in a room where you may not be disturbed by others for some time. Please note it is not reflection on past activities of yours or others. During meditation, just forget outside world,time,circumstances and focus on mantra. It helps in bringing mental peace, strength and this will bring change in behaviour, feelings towards others. It takes some time and practice.

Also, please understand, though we are in same place at the same time, our origins,destinations,paths all are different in this journey called life. Once you realized that, you will start some mental search on your destination and its place in this world and focus on your material goals i.e. focus on others will be reduced i.e. qualities like jealousy will be reduced over period of time. Also, during interactions with others, ensure your focus will be on positive things. Our mind is like horse and as rider, we need to preemptively focus on what we want. It won't change on its own to where/how we want to go.

Hope it helps and if you wish, let us know after some time (may be one year) on your progress. There may be many books on meditation also. They may further help.

EDIT: Minor grammar corrections.