Ask HN: How do I escape homelessness after rebuilding my mental health?

There is no "mental health", other than in the eye of the introspector. What exists in objective reality, is the successful or unsuccessful performing of the assigned social role.

When you fail to fulfill your role, or when you consciously reject it, or when society simply has no role to offer you, the world around you begins to fall apart, and you find your mind adapting to the raw, unfiltered, unconditioned chaos that surrounds you in every unpredictable moment.

It's called madness. It's a natural response that a human has to the falling away of social bonds. One would like to believe that pre-industrial, non-totalizing societies knew a thing or two about the workings of that particular stable configuration of the human mind, and what role it can be made to fulfill in the collective "organism" of the community.

Our society, on the other hand, well... it simply blames you for being a "no good" person, and puts all the responsibility on you while robbing you of all power to resolve your situation. Because it's better that way - for everyone else, but you, the very person whose fault it most certainly isn't. Which is, fundamentally, unjust. But what can one do - we're all taught in childhood that "life's not fair", so that's exactly the kind of life we end up setting up for each other.

(FWIW, of those three "pathways", the only one I've personally witnessed to accomplish anything at all is the one that's the least socially accepted. We do remain, after all, subject to the pressures of natural selection. Sapienti sat.)

Here's my thoughts, as I've been through this several times--

1. I really believe that you need housing. Spending on motels and office space is counterproductive. (But many folks who need showers and hygiene will register for a gym membership, or use a municipal rec center.)

2. Figure out whether you're part of a special population, or have any distinguishing qualities, that would match you with a particular program. You are confident about your mental health, but would a psychiatrist award you a diagnosis?

3. HUD Section 8 funds regional and municipal programs, and also programs for "chronically homeless" folks. Familiarize yourself with entry-points into this. There are waiting lists, and they're long. Figure out how to get notified when a waiting list opens and apply online--Internet-savvy users are a step-ahead of the hoi polloi.

4. Keep all your paperwork in order. I hope you're filing taxes and tracking your income/expenses. I hope you've got a bank account. If you work with any entitlement program then you'll need to pull out that documentation when it's requested. Libraries have printers, and your cloud/email account has online storage. Organize everything and back it up.

5. You'll find social-services networks that blanket communities with services, and you may need to travel a lot between agencies during the work-day hours. You can get fed at soup kitchens or in public parks or at a church with no questions asked, but they may preach at you and invite you to accept Jesus as true food... unfortunately, programs for employment development are ill-equipped to deal with IT professionals and certified high-tech workers, because those careers are expensive, and blue-collar types have difficulty being accepted to company cultures. Get assistance to polish your résumé and print it out, because job development program may send you to job fairs and provide listings for blue-collar work, but they can also provide useful coaching and support for your job search and disability-related concerns, before, during and after the hiring process.

6. I have also seen agencies that will take in people and have a lot of services on-site. The central homeless shelter does this in my area, and also facilities for the disabled. Just because you have a car, you can still stay in a shelter. This may be a "bunking only" arrangement where you need to leave the premises during the daytime. Seems like a great fit!

7. In a nutshell, while it feels good to have freedom and feel like a professional #vanlife worker, if you want to rebuild your life, you will find yourself going where homeless street people go to do this. Your clinic, shelters, rec centers, and libraries will have postings and representatives to help you navigate. Sticking around, returning on a regular basis, and abiding by program rules will determine your potential for success.

>We go through all of the above to finally out with the fact you have dependents

>We go through all of the above

I'm awfully sorry, but what the hell of the above did you go through just now? Reading a post about a situation?

Some damn empaths we have here, mind.

(FWIW, I stopped reading at "ChatGPT".)

Dont look for answers online. Go meet with a social worker and seek professional help within your community. It's there. They've seen it before. They can help.

I dropped out of school and after a series of events, found myself living out of a broken-down car on the other side of the country with no money and two credit cards that I promptly cut up. I spent a couple weeks unemployed and then worked fast food until I had enough to afford a room in a shared house within walking distance to the restaurant. Showered in the local park every once in a while. Dumpster dove for food initially, at one point sucking down ketchup packets because I couldn't find anything else (protip: bakeries throw out enormous amounts of slightly stale but perfectly edible stuff). But working fast food is nice because at least you can grab some stray fries or something.

Once you have shelter and you're committed to saving more than you spend (again, working in food industry is beneficial there because free food), you can start taking on more jobs and slowly work your way out.

I also had decent coding skills at the time, but never got a job out of it. So don't put too much of your hopes on that. I got a couple responses from job ads, but never even got to the interview stage without a degree.

Eventually (two years) I managed to get to the point where I could work and go to school at the same time (with the help of student aid), and subsequently got a degree and a real job. But the whole time it's all about minimizing expenses as much as possible.

You mention inheritance. I recommend putting all that away in some investment and not touching it. Not because the investment is going to be worth a ton in the future, but because doing so will help build the financial discipline you'll need to get through these times.

Ultimately, digging out rests on stability and savings more than anything else. Find a job with reasonably stable income (maybe uber is fine? it wasn't an option back when I did this), and save every penny that you can. Then you can start planning realistically for the future. The hardest part may be kids; I'm sure it's tempting to spend everything you have on them, and these days even the cost of gas to visit them may be more than you should be spending regularly. At least budget (strictly!) the number of miles you drive outside of work; that money adds up. But get a handle on your budget and spend less than you make. That's the only way out.