41–50 of 113 posts
1:1 are a place to ask for a raise and let your manager tell you why you are not getting one.
And I mean raise, not promotion. That's a misdirection and more work. Your goal is raise, until you are capped, then promotion, and back to raise.
Manager here: first, I'll say that you're ahead of the rest of the class just by asking this question. Most people don't bother trying to get much out of the 1:1s with their bosses. Here's the basic answer: the 1:1 is for you, not for me. If I'm doing my job well, I already know the status of your work. This is a chance for you to talk about anything that you want. Some of my reports ask about technical things: how c…
> If you want to cancel all of the time because you have nothing to talk about, then that indicates a number of different possibilities, very few of which are good. But all of your examples are things I would have already discussed with my manager outside of any kind of formal 1:1s, so that doesn't leave anything for the 1:1. That makes a 1:1 basically a performative exercise: I have to perform in it well enough that…
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> I'll put it this way: the 1:1 for you, but it's also too valuable to skip just because you don't want it. We will have a 1:1 on a regular cadence, whether you like it or not. I don't want a meeting for the sake of having a meeting, but 1:1s are the single best way for managers to connect to team members. If you want to cancel all of the time because you have nothing to talk about, then that indicates a number of di…
That's like saying high school is for the teacher's benefit rather than the student's, because attendance is mandatory.
We do it like this at GitLab and it's very effective: https://handbook.gitlab.com/handbook/leadership/1-1/
Once a week is way too often in my opinion, and the whole setting is much too formal.
I prefer 1-to-1s to be informal without agendas. Once a month is enough. It is a time to build rapport and trust and obviously it has to be "synchronous" and in person if possible.
If the person in the 1:1 just wants to turn the crank and go home then it's pretty pointless. At the least come with a bullet list of corp. questions that need answers and if you don't have any then cancel the 1:1.
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Bad advice. It is not the problem with question when you feel it that way. It’s the problem with engagement of the manager. It’s perfectly normal to ask „How are you?“
This already reminds me of this comment: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=22347296
God, I hate 1:1s. In years on the job I've never had one that was useful. Managers already know what's going on because they're getting daily updates plus a weekly staff meeting. The rest of the time, please just leave me alone so I can work!
Then again, if you dislike your manager, the meetings can be pretty jarring. Sometimes you just don't have that chemistry with them. And some managers try too hard to make 1:1s "useful" according to their taste, which really makes them just another reporting session you want to avoid.
To any managers here, please avoid and forever forget blank cheque questions like "how are you". Makes the mood instantly superficial.
I hate it so much. My manager always asks it and presses the issue whenever I try to move past it with some generic response. As if I want to start having a deep "how are you" discussion with a business stranger, especially one with whom I do not share a geographical location, a culture or first language.
He lets me slide when I say "not much", fortunately, but I think it's an overly intrusive ask, especially in front of the whole team.
I stopped expecting meaningful career growth at a company. It's easier to grow by jumping ship, plus it widens your perspective.
When I was a bit more junior, I asked if I'm performing at your expectation and what I should be doing if not. If there was a suggestion, it was a typical generic statements that didn't add much value.
Whether a manager "cares" about their reports or the company is going to matter a lot. I find most people don't care much. I had this one manager who cared both. We built the entire platform ecosystem company relies on, and I still chat with him every once in a while :)
I asked for feedback, and when I would hear a basic response like "keep doing what you're doing" I would shoot back and ask if that means I will receive a 5 on my annual performance review.
Bring up things like performance reviews, comp adjustments, promotions, etc.
But, caveat, there are a lot of really mediocre managers. If you put in work to make your 1:1's more effective, and they're not having the intended effect, it's a them-problem, and it's time to find a better team to join.
As a manager, I hate using 1:1's for status reports.