41–50 of 146 posts
We have our own separate accounts with one joint checking account. We transfer money into the joint account for any shared expense.
Bigger purchases (car, new heating system) we discuss individually based on our savings and income at the time.
We have one account, where salaries are deposited. This also doubles as a savings account, and the account from which all none-debit card payments are made. There is no debit cards associated with this account.
Then we have a personal account each. These get a fixed amount transferred to them each month, if that isn't enough we'll manually transfer whatever is needed from the joint account. We have a debit card each for our personal account, but not each others. This is mainly so we can get each other gifts without revealing what it might be. It also seems a little abusive to be able to keep taps on your partners spending.
We might need an actual savings plan in the future, but probably won't be needed until the house is renovated.
Once we moved in together everything financial became "ours". There is no point where one of us can be in financial troubles alone. It helps that we've always had more or less the same view on how finances should be managed.
Get a pre-nup, they're cheap. I didn't set up any joint accounts with my spouse so I kept most of my money when we divorced. I used combinations of checks, cash, and PayPal to give them money when they needed it. Eventually I admitted I didn't want a partner who never had any income of their own. If you can really help it, don't marry anyone.
I don't know how to say this without it sounding critical, have you ever considered thst you might be suffering from narcissistic personality disorder?
All of our fixed costs are shared in a way to promote an equal amount per month per person. For example, I pay my daughter school's tuition and my wife pays of my son's. I pay Netflix, she pays Prime Video, so on and so forth.
For market and groceries, we have a credit card account with two cards. This was a game changer for our home expenses management. I have the total spent per month on a spreadsheet and can see how things are going, especially in regards to inflation, currently at 19%/y where I live.
Everything else like going out with friends, small indulgencies, fuel etc. each one of us would cover his/her own expenses.
The answers to those questions will change the advice. Having kids or having disparate levels of income point toward a joint account, whereas different spend patterns point toward separate. There's no easy formula though.
The amount we keep back for ourselves is laughably small as we view our money as our joint money as we are building our life together. We don’t (and never have) earned the same amount, at times wildly different in fact.
We’ve done it like this for over 15 years and works for us.
1 separate current account each, which our individual paychecks go into, and 1 shared joint account, which all household expenses, bills, mortgage etc. comes out of. We both put the same percentage of our individual monthly income into the joint account each month to cover the bills. As we're not paid the same though, this means one of us covers more of the bills than the other. We have a fixed direct debit set up to…
We're in a pretty different circumstance so this probably won't be useful, but in our case, my wife has a bank account and I don't. Our belief as fundamentalist Christians is that I as the man have final authority in the family, including over financial matters. I'm also the sole earner, but that wasn't always the case. We have very little money but it's my sacred duty to always think of how I can care for the family…
Also if you have final authority over financial matters, how does it work out if only your wife have a bank account?
I hope it doesn't sound judgemental, it is by no means meant that way, I am just incredibly curious.
We have independent checking accounts (normally at the same bank), and credit cards. And then we have 10 or so joint savings or roboadvisor investment accounts – each one for a single purpose, buying a new car, family vacations, new furniture, major house repairs: the roofs need repainting. It is trivial for each of us to see what our progress is on any particular upcoming expense and adjust our donations to that account.
Day-to-day small expenses were divided amongst us fairly, based on income out to the start. But our incomes have changed a fair bit and they’ve been re-jigged a few times. Additionally, it became obvious that my wife was not great at paying bills that required checks in the mail (I know it’s 2024) so now all of those get paid by me and she sends me monthly top up payments when she gets to it.
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This structure allows for us to have very different spending patterns on personal stuff and have aligned goals for big stuff. Different amounts can go to different goals, based both on income and interest in the goals, and progress is clear.
It has also allowed for us to deal with income changes - We each have three jobs currently and one of mine only pays out one in five years, and none of mine pay a salary. Lumpy income can be hard to plan for, and the private accounts allow us to smooth some of this out.
Also for a while, she was a student and had negligible income, then we had similar incomes and now she makes more than I do, the joint accounts and small expense division help level this out over time.
Also, we can have either savings accounts or these days just ad hoc payments that allow for one person to do the chore (shopping, car repairs, writing checks) and another to pay for it.