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Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

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Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#41

Post by imtringued »

reactordev wrote: post #15
earthling8118 wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And if you do these things and it doesn't solve your problems, don't feel bad about it. People really hype up the effects of working out but for some of us it doesn't change anything.

The effects are quite measurable

I worked out to lose weight, instead I gained an unknown amount of muscle. Not exactly measurable.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#42

Post by herbst »

aurareturn wrote: post #39
herbst wrote: post #36

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Glad to hear it worked for you. I totally get where you are coming from, but people are not nicer because you look better but because you approach them differently with your additional self esteem. You definitely wouldn't need muscles for that. Getting to love yourself has the very same effect.

You'd be surprised. Girls definitely notice the muscles. :)

Did you learn to love yourself trough this is the real question :)

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#44

Post by aurareturn »

herbst wrote: post #42
aurareturn wrote: post #39

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You'd be surprised. Girls definitely notice the muscles. :)

Did you learn to love yourself trough this is the real question :)

It didn't matter. Girls would stare when I walk around. That's never happened to me before lifting. Of course that boosts my confidence which exudes even more confidence.

You know the joke where people teach you how to be attractive and the first thing you need is "be handsome"? It's similar to lifting weights. You only get the confidence after people find you attractive.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#45

Post by herbst »

aurareturn wrote: post #44
herbst wrote: post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you learn to love yourself trough this is the real question :)

It didn't matter. Girls would stare when I walk around. That's never happened to me before lifting. Of course that boosts my confidence which exudes even more confidence. You know the joke where people teach you how to be attractive and the first thing you need is "be handsome"? It's similar to lifting weights. You only get the confidence after people find you attractive.

You could just dress well, colorful or freaky (essentially dress with more confidence) and get stared at as well if that's what boosts your confidence.

My only point really is that they/whoever needs to find something that boosts THEIR confidence and not blindly follow things that worked for someone else in their specific situation.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#46

Post by galumptuous »

Skills are only as modern as the situation calls for. There are plenty of jobs in companies that are stuck in 1990s era technologies. When I started my job, the process including a step where we printed our emails in order to staple them to other printouts, all to be filed in a cabinet. Literally when a drawer filled up, the files were moved into an unlabeled box to packed haphazardly in an attic. And despite this archaic and disorganized methodology, the company makes a profit and has no debt. So even a depressed below average programmer can seem like a time traveler from the future. On hacker news, yeah maybe you are below average, but take a trip out into modernity’s hinterland and you might be seen as some sort of wizard with unimaginable powers. Programming is a way of seeing the world, not just a skill. Also, yes, exercise, meditation, etc. are all good solutions usually but depression can be crippling. If you can’t run, walk. If you can’t walk, stand, if you can’t even stand , you might need some of the old fashioned antidepressants from the heroic age of psychiatry. Confronting depression is a little bit like how some alcoholics stop drinking: it is sometimes helpful to take it one day at a time, one hour at a time, even one second at a time because ruminating, planning and thinking about doing things stops the doing. Today you make sure to get out of bed, then work on showering every day, then breathe some fresh air and absorb sunlight, then take a walk, then go for a jog or hike, etc. it could take time but no matter. If it is bad enough, even small steps can be highly rewarding.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#47

Post by vhcr »

herbst wrote: post #45
aurareturn wrote: post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It didn't matter. Girls would stare when I walk around. That's never happened to me before lifting. Of course that boosts my confidence which exudes even more confidence. You know the joke where people teach you how to be attractive and the first thing you need is "be handsome"? It's similar to lifting weights. You only get the confidence after people find you attractive.

You could just dress well, colorful or freaky (essentially dress with more confidence) and get stared at as well if that's what boosts your confidence. My only point really is that they/whoever needs to find something that boosts THEIR confidence and not blindly follow things that worked for someone else in their specific situation.

There's nothing arbitrary about doing exercise to deal with depression, it's about as effective as therapy or pharmacological treatment, the same cannot be said about dressing well.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#48

Post by bg117 »

- Stay in the sunlight as much as possible. It is free. - Exercise at least 1-2 hours (Walking/Jogging, Yoga) - Eat healthy food - Keep reading - Find out things that interest you and keep doing it ex- books, painting, games... - Mental wellness is the most important thing that you should focus on - Find a topic of topic of interest and work on it ( most difficult but doable) - Don't worry about what others think of you.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#49

Post by jacknews »

selcuka wrote: post #23

Some pragmatic and short term advice: 1. It is hard to explain not being able to land a job for 36 months for a Python backend developer, even if you are below average as you said, or too focused on a niche industry. Unless you have very high standards and if you are willing to work for a not-too-fancy company for industry average or slightly below salary, you should have found one. One thing comes to mind is this ha…

"It is hard to explain not being able to land a job for 36 months for a Python backend developer"

Assuming the python ecosystem is not that much different from ruby/rails, C/unix, etc, no it's not. Especially for anyone even slightly unusual, ie anyone not in their 20, maybe 30s at a stretch, with a CS degree, living in a western nation, a continuous employment record, etc, etc.

Re: Ask HN: 36 months of unemployment and depression. How to go back?

#50

Post by reactordev »

mynameisvlad wrote: post #22
reactordev wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The effects are quite measurable

And people are complex creatures. What works for some may not work well for others.

That’s true of diets, not exercise. Physical exercise is always measurable and always works. Whether you can do the exercise is another matter. It should be tailored to your body. It should be hard. It should hurt (in soreness, not in pain). I’ve seen people transform.
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