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Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

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Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#41

Post by theshrike79 »

GianFabien wrote: post #9

For me the biggest factor has been understanding how the hedonistic trap limited my options. It works like this: you start a new job with a nice big bump in salary. You buy a new car, go to fancier restaurants, take dates to "in places", move into a nicer apartment. With each increment of income, expenses increase. Pretty soon you are trapped in an awful job but the pay is too good and you have no savings. Getting of…

I actually managed to get off the treadmill during the Pandemic. During the slowdown of the initial forced WFH I found out that I don't actually need anything else.

Yes, a bigger house with a bigger yard, a better car etc. would be nice.

...but I have everything I need that costs under 10k€. There are a few bits I could upgrade, but I'd have to pay a 50-100% premium for under 10% quality improvement, so not really worth it in my book.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#43

Post by 6ak74rfy »

JohnFen wrote: post #11
PreInternet01 wrote: post #6

Not quite in my 60s just yet, but close. Anyway: Work: find your niche. Accept that you're not going to be a hotshot coder/consultant/whatever forever. However, outside of 'fashionable tech' there is an entire world where you can make a comfortable living and nobody cares about your age. That doesn't mean you can stop learning: remaining up-to-date on relevant skills is important, but 'relevant' does a lot of heavy l…

Everything you wrote is wonderful, but I wanted to expand on this: > Accept that you're not going to be a hotshot coder/consultant/whatever forever. I would add that it's likely that you won't even want to be a hotshot whatever forever. Getting older is like every other change in the stages of life. Some doors close, some doors open, but mostly -- what you enjoy and want out of life changes. Embrace that, and don't k…

I am in my thirties and had this exact realization recently.

It’s so true. There were things I imagined myself becoming or doing when I was younger. I never got to them but also had nagging feelings about them every once in awhile.

Once I let go, it was liberating. I now pick a few things I go deep into and other things will just have to wait or may never happen, and I am okay with that.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#44

Post by brabel »

GianFabien wrote: post #9

For me the biggest factor has been understanding how the hedonistic trap limited my options. It works like this: you start a new job with a nice big bump in salary. You buy a new car, go to fancier restaurants, take dates to "in places", move into a nicer apartment. With each increment of income, expenses increase. Pretty soon you are trapped in an awful job but the pay is too good and you have no savings. Getting of…

I've been living a comfortable life, but well below my means. I could have a bigger house, a bigger car, travel more. The reasons I don't do that are exactly that I do not want to be "forced" to continue working (even if I currently enjoy working, I know I won't forever) well into old age, and I have realistic hope that I will be able to retire within a few more years (I am in my early 40's now). I may continue "working" on something, as I do think I will continue to enjoy building things, but I want to do that on my own terms, from wherever I feel like.

With a motivation like that, I found it very easy to "jump off the hedonistic treadmill". But I was never one to give high importance to showing off wealth or status. Those things have very little importance to me as in my view, all they can give me are superficial "highs" of feeling superior, but then I immediately remember that the desire to feel superior itself needs to be suppressed as it is not just evil when taken to the extreme, but also is a never ending race where there's no winner and no real satisfaction.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#46

Post by robga »

GianFabien wrote: post #9

For me the biggest factor has been understanding how the hedonistic trap limited my options. It works like this: you start a new job with a nice big bump in salary. You buy a new car, go to fancier restaurants, take dates to "in places", move into a nicer apartment. With each increment of income, expenses increase. Pretty soon you are trapped in an awful job but the pay is too good and you have no savings. Getting of…

Exactly. When I realised a $4 coffee is actually $14 dollars in todays money if I put it in a boring index tracker and leave it 30 years until I’d need to spend it, that was a massive mental switch in my head. I’m always aware of balancing hedonism/asceticism.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#47

Post by quonn »

kmarc wrote: post #21

Not 60, but trying to somewhat predict where I will be at that time... As a non-native English speaker I used to say: 20 years ago I knew that if I wanted to have a great career today, I had to learn English. Today, if I want to have a great career 20 years from now, I should learn Chinese. (since then I left the telco bubble, maybe other parts of the tech industry are not that Chinese-heavy)

People said the same 20 years ago and it‘s not going to happen for many reasons.

- The language of science remains English.

- Only a small part of the Asian countries has languages with a similar structure. Meanwhile, North and South America, Europe, Australia, Russia and India are within the Indo-Germanic language family.

- English has both simple grammar and a simple alphabet. To succeed a language also has to be easy to adopt.

- China is getting more important, but the sum of western countries also will be

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#48

Post by rorroe53 »

epicureanideal wrote: post #16
gigatexal wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This should probably be enshrined on tablets somewhere. I too am worried about either moving into management or starting my own company or something else because there’s no way I’m going to be a worthwhile IC into my 50s. I need to do something more.

I sure hope I have a big exit sometime before 60 (20 years from now), because the cost of living in the Bay Area is crazy. It would be awful to work as a "well paid" (but most of it goes to living expenses and raising kids) software engineer for many years, and then need to retire in some rural area on social security, with bare minimum quality of life...

Rural area isn't bad if you find the right place, hobbies and a proper house. Lots of opportunities for outdoor activities, such as gardening and trekking, which also help keep you healthy.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#49

Post by WelcomeShorty »

Treat your partner well, you got some daunting times ahead of you as a team.

Your children will (need to) leave the house. Prepare and assist them.

Your family home will be oversized, if you can, pass it to one of the kids who needs it most.

Moderate your financial fix costs.

Get your car / bike / sailing / paragliding licence now.

You are still a player in the "looking for a partner" market, go for it now or forget about it completely.

Re: Ask HN: What 60 folks can give career and general life advice for 40 folks

#50

Post by Gibbon1 »

WelcomeShorty wrote: post #49

Treat your partner well, you got some daunting times ahead of you as a team. Your children will (need to) leave the house. Prepare and assist them. Your family home will be oversized, if you can, pass it to one of the kids who needs it most. Moderate your financial fix costs. Get your car / bike / sailing / paragliding licence now. You are still a player in the "looking for a partner" market, go for it now or forget…

> Treat your partner well

Be really leery of anything that builds resentment. It's an insidious relationship poison.

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