Why is my post flagged?
Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
41–50 of 82 posts
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#42Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ok follow-up then. Is it that you're afraid of failing etc., or afraid of not living up to your expectations of yourself? Just trying to get a feel for what you mean.
Expectations (of being an adult with baseline ability to be effective and manage life's responsibilities)
I think I see. Is it like: "Man, how am I able to fuck this up so bad, and so consistently. Life should be a lot easier. I'm a failure." That kind of thing?
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#43If you’re at any real risk of acting on that thought, call professional help, or immediately commit yourself to professional care.
Resistant to that idea? Then you’re not seriously considering suicide, that’s just your traumatized self calling out for attention; you don’t want to die, that’s a lie, the truth is you want the pain to stop, which is a VERY different truth, but trauma doesn’t let you FEEL that subtle difference.
Well, here’s the hard part… what you feel is a lie. Whatever you feel… that’s what trauma does, it reveals that your feelings are untrustworthy, amplifying everything and forcing you into a cycle of trying to numb the feelings and then trying to have them again, leading to more and more over correction.
Stop repeating the lies trauma tells you about how you feel. You don’t actually know how you feel… that’s what trauma took away from you, you don’t get to access your feelings without a black box fucking with them and lying to you. Giving voice to those distortions, without self critique, just keeps you circling without rising.
CBT works, given time and effort. EMDR maybe works, I can’t say it’s helped for sure in any permanent way, but it’s helped bring some emotional dampening from certain triggers. Meditation helps, so does exercise and time in nature… medication might, or it might not, it definitely didn’t help me. Dogs help… they can listen without talking back… most things can’t.
Trauma sucks. I’ve been where you are now hundreds of times. I’ll be there again. Such is life… but each time I’m there for less time, and each time I’ve got more tools for getting back up off the ground and taking control of my selves again. Each time we fall, we rise again.
This too shall pass is a very helpful phrase… repeat it until it does.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#44Earlier quoted context omitted.
Psilocybin and MDMA has worked wonders for even the worst trauma. Please do try these therapies and there are many more on the way. Please don't give up. - a fellow cPTSD patient.
Have you tried MDMA?
MDMA and Psilocybin have shown fantastic efficacy. Look up MAPS Trial for efficacy data, it's about as close to a magic pill for PTSD as one can imagine.
"MDMA was found to induce significant and robust attenuation in CAPS-5 score compared with placebo (P
A p-value of 0.0001 is extremely good. [1] https://www.nature.com/articles/s41591-021-01336-3
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#45Now it looks like it’s never going to get better but it will. Just in your current state you can’t see it. I really hope you get the strength and resources to overcome your depression.
I think a psychiatrist/psychologist or other expert has the knowledge and tools to help you but you mentioned several times it doesn’t work. I hope you can find a better one that can really help you.
Your friends and family are the ones that are going to suffer the most about losing you, so go and talk with them about this situation. I really hope you can help each other.
Finally, I read people changing their environment can help. If you can afford it going for a vacation for a week and see if you feel better? The farther the better (i.e. if you’re in US go to Spain).
There are no simple, magical solutions but at least try something small(i.e. taking vacations, or some days off), gain confidence, and go step by step. No matter where you are, we all start somewhere. Your life is precious.
I really wish you find all the patience, love, and solutions/changes to your problems.
If you want to get in touch check my profile.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#46Why is my post flagged?
Possibly because the topic, however painful, is not something that belongs on this forum.
Now. I have been where you are.
Get. Professional. Help.
Do it. If it requires you to break it down into small steps then find the number you need to dial today.
Tomorrow: dial it.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#47Go rock climbing/slacklining/archery.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#48Earlier quoted context omitted.
Ok follow-up then. Is it that you're afraid of failing etc., or afraid of not living up to your expectations of yourself? Just trying to get a feel for what you mean.
Expectations (of being an adult with baseline ability to be effective and manage life's responsibilities)
Here's a pro athlete with a pulled hamstring. They may not even be able to walk. They've got expectations for themselves, and they can't meet them. They can guilt trip or berate themselves for letting the team down, but that doesn't make them any more able to play.
You're injured. You may someday be healed, but for right now, you're injured. That's not a moral statement. You're not a bad person for being injured.
You can't meet your expectations right now. Injury is like that. Forgive yourself for it. ("Forgive" is the wrong word, because it implies moral fault. But to the degree that you blame yourself, forgive yourself.) Then try to work on healing. That's what you need right now. (Athletes don't try to play on pulled hamstrings, but they do work on rehab.)
I can't tell you what "rehab" looks like for you. All I can say is that you need to stop beating yourself up for being broken by trauma. It's not a failing.
For what it's worth, I'm praying for you.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#49I think suicide is an extremely personal decision. We can all tell you it will get better tomorrow, urge you to get help, that life does get better, but ultimately it's your choice.
Have you tried Ketamine therapy? It's covered by insurance now.
Re: Ask HN: Trauma has broken me. Nothing has worked. Alternatives to suicide?
#50What do you have to lose by texting 988?
Arrest and forced medication.