Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag? • Hacker News Board

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#41

Post by xkcd-sucks » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:55 AM UTC

TBH he'll be much more objectively successful in career/life if he puts lots of time into socializing -- Actually "doing hard programming work" lets you be a programmer, but "networking" lets you be a programmer's boss or executive. The party animals seem to bifurcate into like 80% incredibly successful people and 20% burnouts ten years later, even the ones that were total basket cases at the time

And even with "passion projects", self-promotion is most of the "objective success" if that's what one cares about

Some of my biggest regrets are being heads down in the lab for most of undergrad, being heads down in hackathons programming instead of walking around bullshitting with the other attendees etc. - Really just mechanisms to avoid the "hard work" of socializing as an introvert while feeling superior about it

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#42

Post by spike021 » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:55 AM UTC

I don't see any problems; my only suggestion is first see how he feels about it as an actual field to work in (software engineering, etc.) and if it's something he'd enjoy doing as a _career_, even if only for the money. If so, I definitely recommend getting some internships (a decade ago when I was a CS major, I had good friends like this but they never put effort into getting internships, so it made the transition from school to career a lot more difficult).

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#43

Post by ShamelessC » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:56 AM UTC

He's fine. I didn't code in my spare time until well after finishing my CS degree.

Coding is a truly painful experience at the beginning. It will exhaust every ounce of your passion. Give it time but also let him do whatever he wants?

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#44

Post by rnk » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:57 AM UTC

No. If he's doing fine in his classes then that's good enough. You don't need to be a techy nerd full time in your life to succeed. And there are plenty of jobs where you can use your tech eduction or skills without being a coder. PM, sales technical roles. Eventually manager. He will be more successful if he's interested in it, but there are lots of adjacent jobs to actual coding.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#45

Post by ShamelessC » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:58 AM UTC

WoodenChair wrote: post #12

I’m a college CS teacher. I would say if he were not doing well in his classes, then it might be a red flag. If it’s not an academic interest, a talent, nor a hobby, then it’s not a good fit. But since he is doing well, let him be, unless you talk to him and find out he’s doing it for the wrong reasons.

I had undiagnosed bipolar in college. I love coding, but people like you were always there to discourage me because I didn't have coder parents or whatever. Really messed with my confidence. Food for thought.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#46

Post by werber » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:59 AM UTC

I think you might be looking for a founder wonder child and your kid might be fine just working to live. If his life is well rounded while maintaining academic success I think you should feel relieved. He’ll probably have a career, maybe in a “safe” or corporate environment, and have terrific amount of freedom to balance his less lucrative interests to find pleasure, and pursue meaningful connections with friends and romantic partners. Sounds like you have a smart kid going to college to find a job

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#47

Post by kanbara » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 12:59 AM UTC

if he’s doing well, don’t go behind his back and ask people if his behaviour is “correct”. what a weird thing to do as a parent. forcing him to code, or asking him why he doesn’t, will only damage your relationship.

as others have said, nobody expects accountants to do maths in their free time, or biologists do dissect things, or teachers to teach, etc.

and as a personal anecdote: i’m not great at maths, not the smartest at coding, never coded much for personal fun. i did a little bit of coding, and mostly played with OSes, linux, stuff like that. and i worked in several countries around the world, and now am a staff engr at a FAANG, so … it doesn’t matter.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#48

Post by deltree7 » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 1:01 AM UTC

madrox wrote: post #19

There's a lot here to unpack, but I don't believe this is a red flag. CS is not a "gimme" major. If he's continuing to pursue it and the college isn't weeding him out, then he's clearly doing alright and has enough enthusiasm for the major. Let him continue. On a more personal note, I don't believe this is any of your business. Your son is a grown adult. Perhaps he's getting a degree on your dime, but he needs to mak…

Both Indian and Chinese kids continue to excel in every industry, despite heavy involvement from parents. (and happy)

OTOH, I've seen many White students raised by liberal parents with too much student debt (and depressed).

So, unless there is data to prove that "letting 18 years old to make their own life changing decisions" on their own, we need to stop this overly progressive method.

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#49

Post by deltree7 » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 1:08 AM UTC

enasterosophes wrote: post #35

> I am not a developer or cs engineer So you're saying you're less qualified than your son when it comes to determining whether someone might do well in CS?

Plenty of uneducated Indian / Chinese parents make great decisions for their kids. OTOH, I've seen overly progressive liberal parents destroying their kids lives by letting them take useless courses, large debts and unsustainable lifestyles

Re: Ask HN: Son is major in CS, but doesn't code. Red flag?

#50

Post by stjo » Tue, Jan 10, 2023, 1:10 AM UTC

I somewhat disagree with the other comments. I believe practising, even in your free, time is a dramatically important if your goal is to be one of the best. Look at the titans of our industry. Do you think John Carmack or George Hotz “thinker” less than 40 hours a week? Constant practise and love of your craft is easily the most important factor in becoming great at anything.

With that being said, maybe your son is not interested in becoming the next Bill Gates. It is ok to not be the best. Average developers make a fair living. And even if he has high hopes but no chance of succeeding - maybe let him learn that lesson on his own? Learning to make decisions about one’s own future is much more valuable than anything they teach in college. Let him give up or succeed on his own.