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Ask HN: Is it just me?

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Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#41

Post by iceburgcrm »

themitigating wrote: post #37
dilyevsky wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables

I agree. I find it very hard to be motivated in situations where I don't think things are being done correctly. Of now that I've grown up I realize that's completely arrogant the problem is that realization doesn't help.

In time you will realize there is no correctly just different ways with different tradeoffs.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#44

Post by jstx1 »

What do you mean fall out with someone? Like a serious personal disagreement? That's the part that sticks out, and if it keeps happening everywhere, then yes, it's probably you.

If you mean switching jobs every 3-5 years, that part seems very normal, you might even be on the longer side of tenures these days.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#46

Post by rubicon33 »

dilyevsky wrote: post #33
zubspace wrote: post #16

I've been working more than 11 years at my current small company. There are often times where things do not work the way I want. Bad communication, new strategies I don't like, different opinions on how do something, bad or sloppy code I need to cleanup, crappy processes, etc... etc... But still, after all those years, I don't feel bad about it. That's life and life is a mess sometimes. There are things you can chang…

This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables

I have found that a life of sports has prepared me well for a life of work. Growing up, I got used to "trying my best" and still losing for various reasons

- opponent way better than me

- had a bad day / off my game

- unlucky for some reason

What I learned then that has carried into work is that I can try super hard, and still things won't go my way. What I started focusing on in sports was my AVERAGE game. I kept trying to improve my average over months, and years, and that helped me avoid focusing on down days.

The same applies for work. I give it my best, and I try hard, but there are days, even weeks sometimes, where I struggle to do much of anything. I just accept that I will have powerful weeks too (and I do). Be calm, and move on.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#48

Post by [deleted] »

dilyevsky wrote: post #33
zubspace wrote: post #16

I've been working more than 11 years at my current small company. There are often times where things do not work the way I want. Bad communication, new strategies I don't like, different opinions on how do something, bad or sloppy code I need to cleanup, crappy processes, etc... etc... But still, after all those years, I don't feel bad about it. That's life and life is a mess sometimes. There are things you can chang…

This is easier said than done. How do you “try your best” and also disengage when there are things you don’t think are correct, just, etc. For me personally I haven’t been able to find a foolproof solution unless I’m working a contract with very scoped deliverables

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#49

Post by nickkell »

zubspace wrote: post #16

I've been working more than 11 years at my current small company. There are often times where things do not work the way I want. Bad communication, new strategies I don't like, different opinions on how do something, bad or sloppy code I need to cleanup, crappy processes, etc... etc... But still, after all those years, I don't feel bad about it. That's life and life is a mess sometimes. There are things you can chang…

This is great advice. I’ve also been struggling with “letting go” when things don’t go my way. People need to find a way to be at peace, whilst simultaneously striving for improvement.

Re: Ask HN: Is it just me?

#50

Post by geocrasher »

Is it you? Considering that the pattern repeats, the answer is probably "yes". You're having a hard time transitioning from being The New Hotness to Just Another Worker. Your ego gets bruised, you make a bigger deal about your opinion than it warrants, and you burn a bridge or two.

You're not doing it on purpose, but the fact that you're asking about it shows humility, which is a good thing. Always be in a position of service for people. Try to be less ego driven, and more service driven.

And don't give up!

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