Earlier quoted context omitted.
My father always knew his "father" was not his biological father, but it wasn't until a couple years ago (when he was in his mid-60s) that he was able to find and connect with the half-brothers and -sisters he never knew he had, from the family his bio-father made after he left my father's mother and never looked back. At any rate, how did your father take the news?
The situation you describe is the one I'm curious to avoid. My old man was sort of "bah humbug" about it all. He wasn't necessarily "surprised" that my mom would do such a thing, but still "surprised" — eyes wide open, shaking-of-the-head. My mom was notoriously sneaky, though her legend is prototypically more tame than this: "oh look at this cat I found on the sidewalk that was lost!", or "this dog was going to be p…
I had a short (fortunately) relationship with a woman who was diagnosed, and there's a certain 'flavor' to the lies that I noticed when reading about the rocks. Cheating is also common with BPD.
I'm glad it didn't work out, because I can see how the push-pull messes with your head. Something as insane as your wife, who ostensibly loves you, adding weight to your backpack and not revealing the 'joke' for a week is insanely malicious.