My first son is 21 yrs and younger is 19 yrs now. One purchase from that time that I felt was absolutely worth it was the Playtex Diaper Genie.
Also, invest in a good quality infant car seat.
Don't forget to enjoy this time.
Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
41–50 of 343 posts
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#42They may want to give a new Mom a contraceptive shot. They may sneak it in even if you've vociferously refused. Our experience was that it drove my wife almost insane and severely damaged her bonding with our daughter. It was 8 months before the shit faded and she came back to herself. If you plan to do the baby sling thing and keep your child with you as much as you can; start practicing wearing the sling (with weig…
What’s this about giving mothers a contraceptive shot??
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#43I have a 3 year old. Cherish waking up to rock your kid back to sleep. Don’t make your wife be the one to get up every time. I realized those special moments with my daughter staring up at me while I was rocking her back to sleep and singing to her would not last. She is too big to need me for that specific thing anymore but I’ll never forget staring at those cute little eyes as she was interpreting the world. Something so special about helping them relax enough that they close their eyes and go back to sleep while your holding them.
Also, don’t be like me and obsess over how these things won’t last to the point where you nearly can’t enjoy the moment. Life is freaking beautiful man, you’re about to find out a whole new dimension to this game. Congrats!!!
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#44That it may really suck for the first year or two. You may not sleep much at all. Just know that you will get through it.
What I wish I did better is to sleep when the baby is sleeping and making that a priority in my life where possible.
For the day to day, simply being present. You’re going to want to be doing something “productive” given all the time being spent on your little one, but I do wish I spent much more time being present than putting a book or tv show on to decompress.
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#45There are no changing tables in the men’s restroom. Well, sometimes there are, but I can’t tell you how awful they are. Quite filthy and often in questionable mechanical shape… just keep telling your wife this. Have your fellow fathers tell their wives this.
Don't tell your wives, tell the owners/operators of the establishment. Don't give in to that kind of societal inequality - change it.
> Don't tell your wives, tell the owners/operators of the establishment.
Also, if your country of residence is not so strict regarding this, go change diapers in the womens room if needed.
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#46An honest reflection of being a father for the last 2.5 years:
1. Sometimes for no apparent reason, you'll start crying
2. Parenting is a constant cycle of ups and downs
3. Ask for help (it really does take a village)
4. Friends and family (even with good intentions) will always find something to nit-pick about your parenting style
5. Having a child will test your relationship with your partner and reveal that you two *might* not be on the same page as you thought you were
6. Default-divorce is the path unless you and your partner actively work on your relationship
7. Toss every expectation you had about what it'll be like as a father
8. Movies lie
9. All of the above highly depends on the type of child you have
10. Culture plays a big role. The west and east have _very_ different ways of raising childrenRe: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#47The most important experience I had that you should know is that dads can get post-natal depression too. Nobody ever mentioned that to me and so I never knew what it was until much later. Thankfully it wasn't too late.
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#48Take your paternity leave (as much as you can). Drop down to a four day work week, even if you feel like it's a risky question to ask, as soon as you can.
Everyone will tell you that you can't get the time with your kids back - and they're right, so spend the time with them now.
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#49Father of a one year old. Research and implement sleep training when the baby is 3 months old or so. We’re now the parents that put the baby down at 7:30 PM, walk away, and enjoy our evenings. The baby doesn’t get taken out of bed until 8 AM. Many of our friends have babies that need heroics to fall asleep and then they have to constantly wake up in the middle of the night to soothe the baby back to sleep.
Re: Ask HN: First-time dad-to-be. What do you wish you'd known back then?
#50Father of 3 here; 1 year, 4 years and a 7 year old. I was also nervous about first kid, I only have few things. Every kid is different, but there are always some generic things to say.
Relax, kids mirror your emotions and can feel if you stress. Even if you are up mid night and are stress about sleep. Just take it easy. Kids don't do it to be mean. They don't have those kind of thoughts.
Kids are simple. They want affection, food and sleep. But they can't get any of it on their own. To begin with, they barely even know if they have feet and hands. So it's your job to help em out.
Babies can be crying or complaining for many reasons; Maybe something is itchy, they are hungry or need to poop. So relax, it's not always something bad. Give them some love, check their diaper, keep tabs on the time since last feed.
First time is always bad. First couple of weeks is just stress. You need to get into a new rytm, but it gets much much better after 2-3 months, where their stomach settles in, they settle in and you can start to enjoy it much more.