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Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

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Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#41

Post by mcv »

mucio wrote: post #16

Move to Germany. Probably you had to move a bit earlier for you to enjoy the full parental leave here, but grandparents will be a great support. Do not worry much about the small village, actually use the opportunity (lower costs) to invest in your German (learn as much as you can with classes and talking with the people around you). Quality of life in Germany is much better than in the USA. Kita places are hard to f…

Yeah, the US sounds rather hostile to raising children, from everything I hear. Not just the school shootings, but also being unable to play outside, no biking to school, and the way politics seems eager to politicise everything about education there.

I'd definitely pick Germany. Actually, I'd pick Netherland, because that's where kids are apparently the happiest in the world, but Germany sounds like a great alternative.

And grandparents nearby is a boon to any young parent.

Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#43

Post by travisgriggs »

I came here to say Germany as well. But so many others with so much more experience in Germany than me have chimed in. It’s pretty amazing how near universal the response has been.

I’m curious how the answers would change if we shifted some of the variables.

What if the asker’s Bavarian parents were elderly and less than the ideal support grandparents? What if it were his parents living San Diego that were the eager kid helpers?

What if the family support situation was more “average” on bot sides, but located in either Bavaria or a less metrotech area of the US, say Spokane WA?

Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#44

Post by wing-_-nuts »

rurban wrote: post #26
erellsworth wrote: post #15

Germany, without a doubt. California is going to get pretty ugly when the water runs out, which is already happening.

Or when the 4-th awaited ring-of-fire event (9+ earthquake) will overflow the Diablo nuclear power station at the coast at 6m height above seawater. This is directly located at their major fault. Could be in the next 2000 years, but the latest 3 9+ events on each corners all happened short after another, just the 4th is missing (chile, indonesia, japan => california).

Will CA have another 'big one' one day? No doubt. Is the state in a precarious position due to climate change making the entire region more arid? Definitely; but I don't think there's any science behind the 'ring of fire' events you describe. That's not how tectonic activity and subduction / slip earthquakes work. '

Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#47

Post by rob74 »

rurban wrote: post #22
elevanation wrote: post #14

Bavaria, for the following reasons, IMHO: 1. Family in a quality German rural setting: Over the long term, healthy and functional family relationships are meaningful source of fulfillment, and make everything else in your life just a little bit easier. In combination with the quality rural life in many areas of Germany, it is a healthy foundation for friends, family, and children. 2. A geographically independent care…

You forgot that Bavaria has still a travel warning advisory, due to incompatibilities with the German constitution and their police ordonances. https://www.lawblog.de/archives/2017/07/20/bayern-endloshaft... Rather move to one of the democratic german states, where the police cannot put you into prison forever, without trial.

Not trying to justify that law (and I'm not a fan of the Bavarian "one-party-state" either), but I want to mention that "the police" can't put you into prison forever - they need to get it reapproved every three months by a judge. Plus, if you're the kind of person this law targets (a suspected terrorist), you would be well advised not to move to the US either...

Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#48

Post by tailsdog »

uberman wrote: post #2

Not long ago, my spouse was offered an academic position in southern CA. For us, housing was the veto even though the other aspects of the job including salary were better. The issue was that houses at the end of the international runway were a million bucks. To replicate what we have now would have required an hour commute and 5.5 million bucks. We also have kids so I think we are in a similar demographic. So, I thi…

Those property comparisons are way way off - Passau is in the middle of nowhere - if you wanted a house like that close to Munich it would cost millions and it's even a struggle to find one available.

Housing in decent locations in Bavaria is very expensive and in very short supply compared to San Diego.

Re: Ask HN: Should I move to California or Germany as a SWE with 2 small kids?

#50

Post by bombcar »

Family support trumps major amounts of things, including large amounts of salary banding.

Also remember that when your kids are older (or, God forbid, the grandparents have passed on) you still could move back.

Given what you've listed, I'd aim for Germany.

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